Mount Wario

History:

Years ago Wario had thoroughly explored the Shivering Mountains, and so, seeking to capitalize on recent trends in extreme sports, purchased some land on one of the Peaks, re-named it after himself, and created a ski resort. This naturally devolved into a full racetrack, even though there was no practical loop to be seen. Another proprietor may have failed, but Wario was persistent and threatening enough to push through his insane new track idea. He eventually handed operation of the track over to his pal, Waluigi, who fell on pretty hard times after his Pinball and Stadium projects fell apart with no real adventuring background to fall back on.

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Wario was an interesting choice to take over a track like this, especially since it owes so much to DK Pass and DK Summit, being a long sloping snowy mountain track. In particular it's a lot like DK Summit with its Winter Sport theme. But really it goes beyond that, being the only track in Mario Kart history that doesn't loop and one of only a handful of courses that are broken up into sections rather than laps (the others being both Wuhu Tracks, the 7 Rainbow Road and 8's remake of 64 Rainbow Road). Only Mount Wario, though, has different music playing for each section.

The first section is very typical to DK Pass, consisting of a helicopter jump (okay, not that part), but then a twisty wind down the peak of the mountain into a rocky valley. Next we have a large anti-gravity ice cave as well as a large Damn in section two. Finally, the last section primarily comprises a downhill ski slope that's a lot like the final section of DK Summit, but of course, that one had snowboarders. There are other sections such as a treacherous snow forest that allows for plenty of multiple paths along with both underwater and the Wario Dam processing plant, which makes for some really diverse racing. It's a definite Frosty Track, but gets its own section here for just how extensive and weird it is, as well as how much more it has in common with DK Tracks and Wuhu Tracks.

The Ghost here is Waluigi, who uses the Duke, in its only Time Trial appearance, with Monster Tires and the Wario Wing in 2:06.283. The Duke doesn't really add any special stats, but the traction of the Monster Tires is pretty helpful here. You may not actually get a better combo that preserves land and anti-gravity speed while retaining traction, but you can go another route, using a lightweight that has a higher base traction to begin with. Then add some wheels for pure speed that sacrifice a little traction in this slippery course.

Electrodome

History:

Not all of Bowser's fake children were as dumb as they seemed. Well, they were all pretty dumb, but when some happened to stumble upon good fortune, they were exceptional at exploiting it rather than let it fall by the wayside. Such was the case when Larry Koopa found himself trapped in an investment in a little known nightclub on the fringes of the Dark Land. Be it ignorance or be it his actual ability to read trends, he eventually transformed the joint into the hottest disco in the Mushroom World. Naturally when Bowser began ordering his fake children to get some race courses to their name, Larry turned his only source of capital, the Electrodome, into an insane race course. It's now populated with all sorts of residents of the Dark Land, such as Shy Guys, Koopa Troopas, and Piranha Plants, who jam and throb to the ever present beat as much as they like to beat on plumbers. This of course has led to all sorts of moral and legal problems, but since the high authority is Lord Bowser himself, Larry is able to keep things running just fine.

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The Electrodome is a wild track. It's theme is similar to 7's Music Park, in that it's a relatively enclosed course (also a rare, nearly all-indoors track) that's more impossible than practical. It's also definitively based around music and at some points Karts can play notes by driving over special areas. What really makes the Electodome stand out though, is its insane use of anti-gravity that makes looking at a map of the course give you a headache. There are some insane turns and multiple paths here that go upside-down, loop around, and culminate in a massive air jump. There's no water here, but be wary of pools of static that can just as easily drown a hapless racer.

The Staff Ghost here is Larry Koopa for reasons that completely escape me and instead seem like a solid space filler. Larry is explicitly the youngest Koopaling, maybe it was an attempt to capitalize on his fleeting youth spent all night in a dance club. Anyway, he uses the Sport Bike with Monster Wheels and Super Glider in 2:24.747 which is a really fast combination. Handling between the Bike and the Wheels cancels out though, meaning he doesn't get much of a boost there beyond his already impressive Lightweight handling. The same combo with a heavier racer and perhaps some Slim Wheels to improve both handling and ground / anti-gravity speed will be beneficial.

Dolphin Shoals

History:

As soon as the Koopalings got into the 2014 Grand Prix, Bowser set about finding them courses to suit their strengths and interests. Off one of the Koopa Troop Islands, near the Koopa Cape and now derelict Chain Chomp Wheel, lay a shallow shoal near a constantly spinning maelstrom that he thought perfect for his daughter, Wendy O. Koopa. He set about securing the rights to race there, but Wendy, in her haste, was able to push aside the meager Koopas who had a controlling interest in the shoal, and doing her father proud, proceeded to create a mind-numbing track, unfinished to the extent that a live Unagi was still settled there, complacent with being raced upon. Bowser hardly had the heart to tell her he was not her real father, but of course, being a maniacal Dark Lord, did so anyway.

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Dolphin Shoals is most similar to 7's Cheep Cheep Lagoon, which was the first track to feature significant underwater sections. That was just a brief taste, though, and a lot of that track is still either on a dry path or in a partially submerged cave with dryland route options. I strongly considered lumping this in with the Beach Tracks, but there's really no beach here, and it should be its own entity. Dolphin Shoals is entirely underwater save for an anti-gravity portion that emits from the eye of the malestrom into one of the most wicked vertical turns in the game, which leads to a brief air portion. There are also crazy parts with pipes blowing racers up and forward and the aforementioned Mega Unagi, perhaps one of the strangest materials to race on, who can spill you out if you hit its tail incorrectly.

The Staff Ghost here is Wendy O. Koopa, who clocks in at 2:19.160 using the Landship, Wood Wheels, and Bowser Kite, which is a thoroughly Bowser-like combination. Wendy was likely chosen here because of her appearance in the Beach World, making the aquatic realm of Dolphin Shoals a natural choice. The Landship is a great pick for her here, only the Steel Driver may do a little better in the brief ground and air portions, as well as giving some much needed traction in this difficult terrain. The Wood Wheels should be easily improved upon, though, the Roller family or Button Tires should give a little better submarine speed.

Sunshine Airport

History:

In the aftermath of Bowser Jr's invasion of Isle Delfino, tourism surged, so much so that the meager Delfino Airstrip could no longer handle the passenger load. The Piantas sought to craft a new, larger, more modern airport, and naturally Mario wanted in on the deal. Seeing that this vested interest could destabilize the industry, though, what with his heavy bias towards the Mushroom Kingdom as well as there existing an already corrupt monopoly on transportation in the Mushroom World exemplified by Toad, the one being who could out-finance Mario bought the rights to build the airport: Rosalina. Rosalina remains a co-owner while letting most of the profits go directly to the people of Isle Delfino, to Mario's chagrin.

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To me Sunshine Airport reeks of Coconut Mall: a race course through a heavily domestic institution, bright colors, multiple paths, and large air portions. But these similarities are really only cosmetic. Sunshine Airport is a pretty original track, consisting of what should be a simple loop that's complicated by subtle turns, navigating around and at times inside of a functioning airplane, as well as steep anti-gravity sections sandwiched by Air Jumps. For a Star Cup course it's not all that difficult, though it looks imposing. A careful hand to dodge the tires and boxes that get in the way along with an eye for those turns will bring success.

The Staff Ghost here is Rosalina with the Circuit Special, Standard Wheels, and Super Glider in 2:24.429. Rosalina is an interesting pick here, I suppose with Music Park going to Baby Daisy, both Rainbow Road courses going to Metal characters, and no signature track, this course with its fantastic air travel was the best fit. The Circuit Special, in its only Time Trials appearance, is going to be tough to beat, especially because Rosalina is naturally pretty fast. If you throw on some Slick tires though, you don't have to worry about any Water hazards here, you can get both the Ground and Air speed necessary to come out in first.

Toad Harbor

History:

Toad was always heavily involved in the Mushroom Kingdom's Highway System, and it was only natural that he eventually pulled some of these connections in the transportation department to get into the Trolley business. He installed the Trolleys in a small Harbor town, which he named after himself. Once he had a firm footing in the region he erected a giant Statue dedicated to Princess Peach, though some believe it was given to him by the French. The next step of course was to build a race track through the town. At this point Toad gave complete control of both the course and the Trolley system over to his lover, Toadette, who ran the show with such ruthless cunning and expertise it became immediately clear that it had been her plan all along.

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Toad Harbor is this real amalgamation of DS's Delfino Square, Wii's Daisy Circuit, 64's Toad's Turnpike, and 7's Shy Guy Bazaar. The course is cosmetically similar to Delfino Square with its tight, building-locked paths and steep hills and geographically similar to Daisy Circuit by the bay, particularly the starting line. The Trolleys replace the traffic from Toad's Turnpike but they function the same way. Finally the multiple routes and canvassed paths are reminiscent of Shy Guy Bazaar. These multiple paths make the course pretty interesting, like a streamlined Yoshi Valley but with paths taking up multiple levels vertically instead of a crisscrossed maze.

The course is also notable for being the only course without air and water sections, as well as anti-gravity sections that aren't mandatory. So it's really old school, pure Mario Kart racing. You know, like the first six installments. The Staff Ghost is Toadette in the Cat Cruiser, with the Retro Off-Road Wheels, and Plane Glider in 2:31.066. It's kind of strange that Toadette is the Ghost for a course named after Toad, but he's tied up on the Retro edition of his eponymous Turnpike. It's also the only Ghost appearance of the Cat Cruiser. This combo actually adds nothing beyond the standard stats, so there is plenty of room to customize here. The track is decently twisty, but the terrain is pretty stable, so someone with great handling is going to be solid at the expense of traction. Bikes in the Sport Bike vein with some slick tires make a good combo.

Thwomp Ruins

History:

An ancient civilization thrived millennia ago on DK Island, leaving scores of ruins across the country. Even though Thwomps aren't native to the Island, they were introduced as travel between the realms increased as Donkey, Diddy, and even Kremlings like Kritter and K. Rool found themselves more often hanging out in the Mushroom Kingdom. The Thwomps found a natural home in the Monkey Mines and took over the ruins deep within the jungle. Obviously off put by this foreign influence, Kong sought to fund a Race Course through the ruins, to both expel the Thwomps, and to bring attention away from his Jungle Home.

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It is unclear whether or not the ruins were caused by the Thwomp presence, the ruins of the actual Thwomp civilization, or if they simply intruded upon the wreckage after whatever incident doomed the people living there. Considering the course's similarity to Millstone Mayhem, and obscure Donkey Kong Country level, I suggest the latter. I'd say this is also why Kong is the Ghost here, although it being a pretty jungly track also supports this idea.

The layout is simple enough, although the addition of deadly Thwomps, millstone wheels, and a wide section with multiple paths complicates things. There are nice anti-gravity sections along the walls to avoid a lot of this junk, as well as underwater portions that could be avoided if your Kart / Wheel combination can't handle it. It's therefore a course well-suited to many different playing styles, and with a wide track and lots of off-road portions to boost over and other secrets to find, there's a lot to open up here.

The Ghost, as mentioned, is Kong in the Varmint, using Monster Wheels and the Super Glider in 2:11.157 . There's a lot of speed there as long as he stays on the ground, but everything else almost counters each other, with handling suffering a bit while the traction stays up. Speed, speed, speed here, and with a lot more anti-gravity sections than water sections, wheels that favor that like the Slim, Slick, or Metal families will be great. Then again, if you just stay on the road, that's probably going to be a faster path.

Sweet Sweet Canyon

History:

While Peach had dealt with large baked structures before in Battle Courses, she was always interested in developing a full-length race course. She finally found her destiny in the depths of the Sweet Sweet Galaxy, where, with Rosalina and Bowser pioneering mainstream intergalactic travel, became practical as a popular race course. By 2014, though, Peach was stretched a little too thin, but luckily she was able to be at too places at once, and so handed over control of the course to her time-displaced counterpart, Baby Peach.

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Sweet Sweet Canyon exists as the third course int he Mushroom Cup, and it's a fun track. It at once seems like an extension of Battle Stages like Cookie Land and Tart Top as well as a throwback to some of the crazier tracks from Super Circuit, like Cheese Land and Ribbon Road. These tracks were made of ridiculous materials that seems reflected in the candy-coated road here that's given a big, extensive, loopy treatment.

This course has a bit of everything. A short water section, an anti-gravity section that's a bit more intense than anything seen up to this point, and a significant air section. It's a basic figure-8 that's made a little more complicated by the presence of that big air section and the split anti-gravity sections.

The staff ghost is Baby Peach, likely because of Peach's constant association with sweet candy. She does 2:12.107 in the Teddy Buggy, Wood Wheels, and Peach Parasol, making it the longest of the Mushroom Cup tracks. It's the only ghost that uses the Teddy. Wood is rough in water, but decent in air, and has nice mini-turbo and traction ratings to get through this course. Still, the Teddy doesn't add anything beyond the Standard Kart and the Peach Parasol cuts some air speed. A variant of the Slim or Slick Wheels that favors the longer anti-gravity sections would work well.

Mario Kart Stadium

History:

After anti-gravity technology was developed, the core Grand Prix Committee sought to create some kind of flagship course to debut this, their crowning achievement. It was Mario that spearheaded the Mario Kart Stadium project, and despite protests from his brother, Luigi, who had often been granted the opening track, he created this course. Located in the heart of the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario placed himself as the primary beneficiary of Mario Kart Stadium promotions and profits, although since the Grand Prix's name is on the course, there is some heavy revenue sharing involved with its operation.

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Mario Kart Stadium is a tremendous break in tradition for many reasons. Of the previous seven opening tracks in the Mushroom Cup, three had been named for Luigi, and DS's Figure-8 Circuit was very aesthetically similar. Even though Mario Kart Stadium is by definition a Circuit track, it's the only opener not to be called so, besides 64's Luigi Raceway. It's also the only opening track to take place at night.

As far as the layout goes, it's fairly basic, even though it introduces players to the antri-gravity element in 8 with a huge vertical section leading to an air jump near the finale of the race. Much of the other parts of the race are reminiscent of Wii's Luigi Circuit, from the sandy patches near the curves to the large stadium seating sections full of cheering crowds.

The Ghost here is Mario in the Sports Coupe with Standard Wheels and Super Glider in 1:59.781. It's a fast car, but if you can match that with some faster tires like the Slick Wheels you can surpass him.

Water Park

History:

Baby Luigi's ownership of several Frosty Tracks over the years by 2014 had been considered an abject failure. His older counterpart, Luigi saw this with some concern, so he helped to arrange an expansion near Baby Park, which had success with Baby Mario's leadership, creating the Water Park. Costs were kept low by subsidizing rides to other prominent members of the Mushroom Kingdom, such as the Wario-sponsored Wario Wheel, which once served as the flagship attraction. Under Baby Luigi's management, though, the Park's infrastructure was never developed enough to curb the encroaching sea wall, and the Park flooded permanently, rendering most of the rides useless. Still, Luigi saw an opportunity to create a new race course out of it, and with Baby Luigi's supervision, the team actually created a decent track.

8:

This course isn't quite as similar to Baby Park as it may seem, even though they are thematically similar and occur at similar parts of the Mushroom Cup. The starting point feels a lot like Coconut Mall, but similarities with that track end after those first step. Most importantly, this track contains extensive underwater sections, so consideration ought to be given to Karts and Wheels that are adept at submarine travel. The turns aren't too crazy, so give preference to speed over handling. There are also mild anti-gravity and air sections, nothing to worry about in the Mushroom Cup.

The Staff Ghost here is Baby Luigi in Mr. Scooty using Roller Wheels and the Super Glider in 2:02.954. It's the only Ghost that uses Mr. Scooty as well as the Roller Wheels. It'll sacrifice a lot of speed for excellent acceleration and handling, especially underwater. I'd like something like the Pipe Frame and Button Wheels to preserve the most under water speed as possible while still getting some decent handling. Wario, Bowser, and Morton are going to have the fastest speed and any of them will get across the finish first on this one.

Rainbow Road

History:

The original Grand Prix Racers struggled to come up with a culmination of their collective efforts. They eventually found a solution in the Sky - using their combined powers and the almost unlimited potential of Stars, they created the first Rainbow Road. They continued to operate in tandem for years, creating a truly non-partisan final course. After the turn of the Century though, this became unwieldy. With the growing popularity of Racers' personal tracks and investments it became difficult for them to join together to create the Rainbow Road. Still using Star Power, they decided to delegate its construction to a smaller committee.

SMK Rainbow Road in Mario Kart 7

In 2001 Bowser's presence was felt in Rainbow Road and he oversaw construction closely from his Floating Castle. In 2003 this fell to Mario and Peach who worked together using their formidable resources to construct the track floating over Mushroom City. Other parties, notably Bowser, resented this and in the next Tournament it fell to R.O.B. who had less of a bias. As R.O.B. did not participate in any other Grand Prix, Rosalina used her vast Galactic Powers to construct the next track in the fringes of the Mushroom World's Atmosphere. Finally, the latest track was overseen by the Honey Queen, who stepped in and used her wide sphere of influence to construct a track across the planets themselves. Lakitu, after decades of his species officiating the races also stepped in to revive the Original Rainbow Road course.

SMK:

Rainbow Road has been one of the most consistent conventions of the Mario Kart series. It always concludes the Special Cup and serves as the Final Course in the game and usually one of the more difficult. No Rainbow Road has any Offroad and they are always suspended in space or the sky, which means that there is a constant danger of falling into the abyss. SMK's Rainbow Road doesn't have the most difficult turns in the game and is completely flat, but its trickiness is precisely that: It is full of 90° turns that come right after long straightaways and with exactly zero guardrails the course is perilous indeed. There are also thwomps that smash players and a few narrower portions where it's easy to get knocked around (and off). Its rainbow portions make up a sort of tile on the track.

Like every course from SMK, this was re-made in Super Circuit. The course also returned in Mario Kart 7 to conclude the Lightning Cup, the Final Retro Cup. It is largely similar although now when the thwomps pound the shockwave makes the track bouncy. It is also one of only two courses (the other being N64 Luigi's Raceway) to have no Air or Sea portions. The Ghost is Lakitu. Using the Pipe Frame, Slim Wheels, and Super Glider, the Normal Staff Ghost goes 01:34.459. This could be advantageous, as his Drift, Mini-Turbo, and Handling are top-notch at the expense of speed.The Expert Ghost goes 01:21.994 using the Cloud 9, Roller Wheels, and Paraglider. The Roller Wheels play into both the Cloud 9's strengths and weaknesses. Still, neither Ghost has all that much speed. If you can get going and not fall off, it should be a cinch.

64:

I consider 64's incarnation of Rainbow Road to be the grandest of them all. It is by far the longest course in Mario Kart history, usually taking around six minutes to complete. It is the only Rainbow Road completely surrounded by guardrails but there is danger both from errant shells bouncing around forever on the course as well as from the hungry chain chomps that roll by to ruin a Driver's day. More than that though, with its grand hills, long straightaways, and extremely tight turns, the course offers a bit for every playing style. Without a tremendous amount of interruptions, it allows these playing styles to play out. That is, whoever wins Rainbow Road a true driving champion. It is also so extravagantly long that players have time to catch up if they get the right items, or conversely based on skill, time to create an impressive lead.

The track is in the reaches of space, like the version from SMK. There are neon images hovering above the track of each Racer, as well as some items like Boo and the Mushroom. The track itself is much smoother than SMK, comprised of horizontal bands of every major colour in the Rainbow.

This course returned to close out the Lightning Cup in Mario Kart 8. There are some other major differences, including the presence of air jumps near the start and finish as well as large portions of the track now transformed into anti-gravity sections. It's really a bastardized version, though, because it has been transformed from taking three laps to only one, similar to Mount Wario, the Wuhu Tracks, or the Rainbow Road from 7. This makes the course much easier, although there are now spots lacking guardrails, which makes things slightly tougher. The Chain Chomps also no longer roam like maniacs but merely bounce up and down, shaking up the course. The only other major geographical difference is that it now takes place over a city, similar to Double Dash, instead of in the middle of space. The rainbow itself is also tiled more similar to SMK than the clean strips we saw in 64. All in all, despite the anti-gravity sections being pretty awesome, it's a big step down.

The Ghost this time around is Metal Mario, a signifier of his other-worldly nature, but also very in line with both Mario and ROB being previous Ghosts of these tracks. He uses the Standard ATV for some insane reason, with Monster Tires and Super Glider. There's no reason to need that level of traction and almost anything is going to get you going faster. Handling is an issue here, use lighter weights sparingly.

Super Circuit:

The Super Circuit incarnation combines some elements from both SMK and 64. Its pattern is similar to 64 but with a brighter tone and it shares a large amount of tight turns, but the whole course is flat. There is also a fair amount of both guardrails and gaps to endanger Racers. There are boost panels for the first time, which tend to hinder novices but excite veterans. Some of these, as well as Mushrooms, can provide some significant shortcuts to blast through this course.

For the first time, too, the track is not in space but clearly in the night sky. Players drive by clouds, which can land on players, shrinking them down. Bowser's Castle is also a constant presence in the background.

Double Dash:

Rainbow Road started getting really crazy in Double Dash, living up to its status as the Ultimate Test of a Mario Karter's Mettle. Like Super Circuit it contains both stretches with guardrails and very dangerous unguarded portions that can lead to certain doom. It also brings back Dash Panels, the course is full of them, which can be dangerous or a benefit depending on a Player's skill level. While looking down on the course from above it may not seem like much but there are extreme changes in elevation that can make the course very difficult as it is full of spiral turns that require excellent driving to get through. There is also an enormous vertical boost, the only one of its kind.

The Track itself is suspended over Mushroom City, making it another course that is in the Sky and not Space. The course is almost panel like, and it glistens in faded Rainbow Colours that merge, blend, and reflect with each other. The track is also very bumpy, and green shells are virtually useless. There is the occasional Star that lands, however. Still, items like the Star or Golden Mushroom can prove more fatal than beneficial. Like 64 there are objects suspended across the course, this time each characters' Special Item. They are more three-dimensional than the 2-D Neon Glow of 64, though.

Double Dash only had one set of Staff Ghosts. The pair here are Mario and Peach, the only such Ghost Team of unnatural pairs. Using Mario's Red Fire they pull a 3:16:476. This makes it the longest course in the game. It is again a course that can fit many playing styles and mastering drifting while staying on the middle of the track will lead to success.

DS:

What appears as a simple Figure-8 is much more. The DS version of Rainbow Road features the only full Loop in Mario Kart History, as well as a difficult Spiral Track. In the vein of recent Rainbow Roads this track is full of Dash Panels and mixes guarded sections with difficult sharp turns that offer no protection. The key here though, is both the Loop and the Spiral and players must be cautious about being hit with Blue Shells or Thunderbolts as they'll plummet to their doom.

The Track is back in Space although it has a blue rather than black hue, suggesting it may still be somewhere in the Upper Atmosphere. The course itself has vertical rather than horizontal bands of Rainbow Colours and looks more similar in tone to SMK than the brighter, faded hues of Double Dash or Super Circuit.

The Ghost here is R.O.B. in the R.O.B.-BLS who goes 2:16:246. R.O.B. is a weird robot and so fits the weirdness or the ultimateness of this course. This version requires good drifting ability as most of the straightaways are full of dash panels anyway, and the toughest parts in Time Trials are surely the turns and not the Loop. Many of DK's Karts such as the Wildlife and Rambi Rider have both high speed and drift and may be a good option. It is actually by a good margin not the longest track in the game, that distinction goes to Waluigi Pinball.

Wii:

This perhaps the craziest Rainbow Road, almost an unbelievable judgment. Like the courses from 64 and Double Dash it begins with a steep drop, although in this incarnation the drop is no hill but a sheer cliff. There are Boost Panels everywhere, along with spots to pull some tricks and many unguarded sections besides a few turns and the starting point. Its most distinctive feature may be the wavy section that drops down into a wide section of track punctured by two massive holes that lead to oblivion. Following this is a Star Warp that sends the players high above and across a great distance to the final third. It's similar to the Vertical Boost from Double Dash, but it travels horizontally a great deal as well.

The Course finds a median between Sky and Space and is clearly positioned very high in the Earth's Atmosphere. Players who fall off will begin to burn up in re-entry. Visible though, are moons, planets, bits of debris, and star bits floating around the cosmos. The track itself is similar to Double Dash, a reflective shimmering rainbow, although it is not as opaque or bleached out.

The Ghost here is Rosalina, reflective of her Galactic Status. The Normal Ghost appropriately uses the Shooting Star in 03:05.895 while the Expert switches to the Jetsetter in 02:44.734. Both do well in the hands of Rosalina. Karts are a bit more stable and perform better than Bikes here. Funky's speed applied to the Flame Flyer is a great option, but again, the course has bits to fit any playing style. In terms of length, the course barely beats Bowser's Castle to be the longest Original Track in the game but it is actually still shorter than the N64 version of Bowser's Castle, which closes out the Retro Tracks.

7:

The Final Rainbow Road to date is truly Galactic. 7 introduced the idea that courses could be only one lap, albeit a very long one. After Wuhu Loop and Maka Wuhu the last one-Lap track is this game's installment of Rainbow Road.  There are not as many drastic elevation changes, but there are extended Air Portions, multiple path choices, and a wavy road full of holes reminiscent of the Wii version. This time, however, players drop down to the surface of a Moon. Dash panels abound again, and one of the course's more distinct features may be a long Rainbow Tube that doesn't quite do what the Spiral in DS did.

The Course is truly in space. For the first time Players can drive not only on bits of Rainbow but the rings of a Saturn-like Planet as well as what appears to be the surface of a moon. There a a few places to catch some Air, the longer of which is full of Asteroids to dodge and Star Boosts to hit to keep up Air Travel. Failing to hit these can lead a Driver to either the course below or death. The track itself is a swirl of colours that evokes the vertical pattern of DS but gives it a greater swirl like Wii.

The Ghost here is the Honey Queen, perhaps due to her status as Intergalactic Royalty. The Normal uses the Birthday Girl, Slim Wheels, and Peach Parasol in 02:10.090 . This is a pretty good choice, but the Peach Parasol is egregiously slow in the air. The Expert switches to her own Bumble V, Standard Wheels, and Flower Glider in 01:52.077. This is again solid, although the Glider can definitely be upgraded. There are more turns, gaps, and last-minute decisions to be made her than a need for raw speed. The greatest straightaways are through the air, so pick someone with good handling and drift that maintains velocity in the Air. Something like the Bumble V, Cloud 9, or Pipe Frame, along with the Sponge or Wood Tires ought to do the job.

8:

The Rainbow Road here returns to much of what made the Wii Rainbow Road great - set high in space with the Earth down below, with insane, impossible turns, split sections, and a massive air boost. Like 7, though, there is also some significant sections where no rainbow is traveled on, instead there exists a massive orbiting space station with shifting directional paths. It's also notable for being the only Rainbow Road with a small patch of Off-Road, though. It's completely allergic to barriers, and very easy to fall off when zooming along with anti-gravity. Anti-gravity, by the way, was made for this course, and it employs them perhaps better, or at least more extensively than any other course in 8.

Depending on your comfortability with that, you'll surely want someone with proper handling that won't fall into the abyss. The Ghost here is Pink Gold Peach, who uses the Comet, Slim Tires, and Super Glider. That's a damn fast combination but you can use the Slick Tires to get that anti-gravity speed up and perhaps someone with less weight for better handling during those deadly turns. The use of Peach in her Pink Gold diecast here may be a reference to her Ghost from Double Dash, along with the use of Metal Mario in the 64 Rainbow Road.

Mountain Tracks

History:

In the vast Northwest of the Mushroom Kingdom lay the Tall Tall Mountains, a place rarely traveled by the Mushroom Folk. It is full of dangerous enemies, steep cliffs, and enormous bouncy mushrooms that grow thousands of feet tall. Naturally as the stakes of the Grand Prix increased and more racers vied for their own signature tracks, newcomers were forced to stretch out into this harsh dominion.

Toadette, the power-hungry manipulator that she is, had long hidden in these mountains. It was no surprise then that she owned vast amounts of land to construct the Mushroom Gorge track, which she ran with an evil fungi fist. Lower in the Valley, Daisy established the Daisy Hills track with her own Mitt Romney-like personal wealth. Finally, higher in the mountains Wiggler, piecing together a rudimentary system of nerve impulses he used for a mind, converted his personal home into the Rock Rock Mountain. Along the same chain lay the Shy Guy Metal Mines, which these mysterious people had turned into a profitable business. With anti-gravity technology developed in 2014, the Shy Guys were able to convert this mine into another course, traveling up a previously inaccessible water fall

Wii:

Mushroom Gorge is a fairly simple loop. There are plenty of turns though none of them are that sharp. The greatest hazard here is the boost ramps and Bouncy Mushrooms, which without proper timing can disrupt even experienced drivers. The road also forks into two different paths on two different occasions, although in both cases sticking to the right is a faster option.

The staff ghost is Toadette with a time of 02:16.110 in the Quacker, while her expert goes 02:01.011 in the Mini-Beast. Neither of these vehicles takes advantage of Toadette's greatest strength, her offroad ability, so using just about anyone with good speed and moderate handling like Daisy or Rosalina can beat the pink toadie without a huge issue.

This track returns in 7, where the Ghost this time is Toad. The normal goes a 02:02.292 using the Cloud 9, Mushroom Wheels, and Parafoil, meaning that he'll have a decent mini-turbo and handling, although most of his other stats end up pretty average, especially his speed and acceleration, which is where you can beat him easily on this simple track. The Expert, though, pulls a 01:50.526 using the Pipe Frame, Monster Wheels, and Super Glider. This means Toad will have great offroad (useless here) and above average speed, but terrible handling. Counter that with some Roller or Wood wheels on something fast and you should succeed.

7:

There are two courses in 7 that seem to carry on this Mountain Theme that many Mario Kart Tracks have exhibited, mostly in DK Tracks. Daisy Hills is very reminiscent of Mushroom Gorge, from its steep inclines, wooden dock paths and large gaps.It's also in the Mushroom Cup again and provides the game's first big jump and introduction to the aerial driving that helps to define this game. Other than that, the course is wide, probably with more curves and boosts than a typical Mushroom Cup Track, but nothing intensely difficult.

The Staff Ghost here is Daisy on her eponymous course. She goes a 02:06.351 using the Royal Ribbon, Roller Wheels, and Peach Parasol, which gives her substantial boosts in just about everything except for both land and air speed. Those two crucial components are what can be used to beat her, because there isn't a great need for anything else on this course. The expert uses the same ride with the Sponge Wheels and Super Glider, which means she no longer has a disadvantage in the air and her mini-turbo becomes very good. Sticking with a strong land speed and moderate handling should be fine.

There is also Rock Rock Mountain in 7, which seems to lift directly some parts from Super Mario 64's Tall Tall Mountain. It is actually a relatively simple track with many straightaways, although some tough curves near the start. Rock Rock Mountain is actually the longest original track in the game, which is surprising for a track that closes the Flower Cup. It's also one of the most reliant on air speed. There are multiple big jumps, one of which is deadly - it is greatly beneficial if you survive, but getting hit will lead you to tumble to the path below while others whiz by. There is also a tough vertical track with boosts and rocks that is difficult to avoid, but mostly a straightaway.

The staff ghost is Wiggler at a 02:35.105 using the Standard with Red Monster Wheels and the Super Glider. It's a tough match but the speed can be beat easily by using something like the B Dasher or Bumble V with Wood Wheels and the same Glider. The expert isn't all that better, but he goes a 02:19.149 using the same combination but with the Flower Glider, which increases his air handling at the expense of speed. Stick with a Glider that doesn't slow down that big jump and you'll be fine.

8:

Shy Guy Falls closes out the Flower Cup and contains one of the more relentless vertical sections in the game. There are many tight turns where errors can lead to perilous cliff edges and of course, the eponymous water fall. Going up the falls is difficult if you miss the boost pads, but going down offers a speed increase like the river in Koopa Cape. After that there is an average-sized air section.

The Staff Ghost here is Shy Guy, of course, who goes 2:19.528 using the Flame Rider, Retro Off-Road Wheels, and the Super Glider. The Flame Rider is an excellent choice, but something with more anti-gravity handling such as the Sport Bike may be a good option. Shy Guy may be here because of his strong previous association with desert tracks, and Shy Guy Falls, despite its huge waterfall, seems like it's in some craggy desert canyon.

Cloud Tracks

History:

The Sky Garden course is one of the very few in Sarasaland, homeland of Princess Daisy. It floats on the skies high above the Capitol Kingdom of Chai. Using some of the Kingdom's own magical essence and the tall vines in the Kingdom the track is supported on the very clouds themselves. Its dangerous access and expensive upkeep led to no other tracks developing up here although this course has returned on a few subsequent Grand Prix under the administration of Daisy.

The blueprints of stable cloud and vine racing technology was eventually adapted in another location, off the Western Coast of the Dark Land, officially in neutral territory, but filled with many of Lord Bowser's Airships. Bowser and Baby Rosalina made a landmark deal to decommission a small portion of his fleet in the interests of the race course. It was one of Baby Rosalina's first moves upon entering the current timestream, and evidently Bowser held her Galactic Authority in high regard despite his attempts to upset her older counterpart.

Super Circuit:

This is the Second Track in the Lightning Cup, which appears only in Super Circuit. It's a bit difficult, almost Rainbow Road-esque with its lack of borders, although the course is wide enough with some cloudy Offroad meridians that slow Racers down. There are also plenty of boosts to avoid some close portions of track. It is basically a simple loop with a handful of tight turns. Control is very important here around the edges so someone like Peach or Yoshi would be valuable. In Grand Prix someone a bit heavier like Kong or Wario might be useful in order to avoid being knocked around.

This track returned in DS where the Staff Ghost is Daisy on one of her random appearances in this game. She utilises the Power Flower in 1:44:400. There is also a Luigi Blimp floating around, which suggests that it might be in the Mushroom Kingdom, but more likely it's Luigi staking his claim on Daisy's territory.

8:

It's great to see such the amalgamation here of two of Mario Kart's more bizarre courses - Super Circuit's Sky Garden and DS's Airship Fortress. Cloudtop Cruise has four major sections: Some curves on solid clouds, a brief overlay on to the deck of one of Bowser's Airships, an anti-grav section on a metal track inside of an active thunderstorm, and finally across a gargantuan vine growing out of a ? Box. It's pretty diverse but thematically sound. There aren't even a ton of spots to fall off of, unless you botch one of the two air jumps sandwiching the thundercloud or botch the supple slope of the vine.

The Staff Ghost is Baby Rosalina, in perhaps a nod to her other worldly or heavenly nature among the clouds. She uses the Biddybuggy, Standard Tires, and Super Glider, which means her speed is ridiculously low but she can handle like a dream. Handling isn't completely necessary here, the only really difficult turns would be on the Airship deck. Go with something crazy fast like the Mach 8 and Slick Tires and then adjust your handling needs by the Driver's weight class. All you need to beat is 2:26.347.

Jungle Tracks

History:

There are many Jungles throughout the Mushroom Kingdom, many of which have seen the intrusion of Race Tracks, seemingly inescapable in any location. Riverside Park was developed by Wario during his many travels to the far reaches of the Kingdom. It exists through the Emerald Passage far beyond the Dry Dry Desert. Wario also sought to develop the Lakeside Park park track on DK Island, next to the Monkey Mountains. Eventually as tensions rose between him and Kong this track was shut down and no one has raced there in a decade.

Yoshi's Island is the location of Yoshi Falls and Dino Dino Jungle, both in the midst of lush water resources. Yoshi however, after overextending himself in numerous Desert Tracks was forced to sell the Dino Dino Jungle rights to Kong, who, with no interest in managing the course, gave it to his buddy Diddy.

Super Circuit:

There are two similar Jungle Tracks in Super Circuit that have never appeared in any other game. Riverside Park is as it sounds - a winding twisting track around and across a wide river. It is also possible to use some nasty shortcuts here. There are a few straightaways but nothing that dominates the course, and much more often there's tight turns with a lot of grassy off-road spots. Someone Lightweight is going to be the key here that can maintain speed while dealing with all that junk. For only being the third track in the Mushroom Cup it's a decently complex track, with jumps and twists and hazards.

Lakeside Park is the same kind of deal. It's a winding track around a bit wider water hazard, although it does have the distinction of transitioning from daylight to darkness after the huge volcano erupts. There is somehow both more of a straightaway and more sharp turns, making a clear-cut choice for who should race this more difficult. Since Toad and Peach by far the better Drivers in this game, they're always a safe choice. This course leads off the Special Cup, which is actually similar to D.K.'s Jungle Parkway leading off that Cup in MK64. It also features a big jump and lots of water danger, making it somewhat of a spiritual successor.

Double Dash:

Again in the Special Cup, Double Dash featured Dino Dino Jungle, which can be a very difficult course. It's a relatively simple Figure-8 but features an unstoppable gigantic Dinosaur over part of the course and then a dastardly wooden bridge without guardrails. There's also evil geysers that erupt from the ground but generally you can see them coming. There are a good amount of hills near the finish line that will decimate Kart without good shocks like the Waluigi Racer, probably at the time you need it most. This map actually does a nice job dividing the track into four quarter-sections: Jungle, Bridge, Cave and Mountain.

Double Dash had Secret Staff Ghosts for each track in Time Trials. The Ghost here is Diddy Kong taking the lead with his partner, Donkey Kong. They ride in the DK Jumbo because of Donkey's heavyweight status. Still, they put in a time of 2:00:908. I suppose they needed to give the Jungle Course to the Monkey since Donkey has DK Mountain.

This course returns in Mario Kart 7 where it is generally the same. There are some more Air boost panels and a few other small differences but other than that it hasn't changed a huge amount. The Staff Ghost here is Yoshi in a befitting way. The Normal Ghost goes 02:29.837 in the Egg 1 using Roller Wheels and the Parafoil. The Expert uses the Egg 1 again in Monster Wheels and Swoop Glider. He'll have decent speed and very good handling. The moderate amount of air travel doesn't make air speed a necessity, stick to something with good acceleration around those turns, such as sticking the Wood Wheels on the Soda Jet.

DS:

Yoshi Falls is one of the shortest courses in any Mario Kart game and is really a very simple loop. Therefore we see it in the Mushroom Cup, in fact, it's the Second Course of the game. The key here is getting the inside track, because the actual course is very wide. What makes this difficult is the occasional waterfall along the Inside Track that can be very hazardous for sloppy drivers. The first and third falls are the only ones that inexperienced drivers should attempt to cross, the middle is much steeper and more dangerous. Beyond that, plenty of gentle curves and nice straightaways, feel free to nab someone like Bowser who has some Speed.

DS also had Staff Ghosts. Here Yoshi clocks in at  0:57:677 driving the Egg 1. This course came back in Wii though with no major changes. That game had both Normal Ghosts and unlockable Expert Ghosts. The Ghost is Yoshi again, this time the Normal uses the Zip Zip in 01:16.461 and the Expert goes  01:09.175 in the Super Blooper. He uses the Super Blooper, really? It's the only Ghost use of that Kart in the game. It's easy now to switch to Funky, who tears through this thing.

8:

The Thwomp Ruins could be considered a Jungle Track but it was different enough that I considered it its own course. You can find more information about it here.

Yoshi Valley

History:

Yoshi never had a lot of money. It was cheap then to convert a large desolate valley in Dinosaur Land on the borders of the Donut Plains into a Race Course. Yoshi didn't specify an exact path however, and his course instead winds through the sun-baked valley as a huge maze, with little direction. It was never that profitable, though, and after years of low attendance and difficult viewing spots by spectators, as well as the angering fact that no one ever knew who was in first or last place, Yoshi   was forced to close it down in the late 90s.

Fates shifted and the young Dinosaur was able to re-open the Valley as a Nature Sanctuary for his own people in time for the 2014 Grand Prix. The Valley underwent some tremendous changes in the nearly twenty years in between exhibitions, but much of the maze was preserved.

64:

Yoshi Valley first appeared in MK64, and there's never really been another track like it before or since. Yoshi's had plenty of tracks but they've all been pretty different. Super Circuit featured Yoshi Desert, it became Yoshi Circuit in Double Dash and the Jungle Track Yoshi Falls in DS. It's interesting that Yoshi  is so adaptable to different course styles, but this was the original.

It mostly features a Giant Yoshi Egg which is the only overt connection to Yoshi himself. There's also tons of pesky porcupines, some dangerous cliff edges and finally, plenty of paths to choose from. Some of the variable paths are clearly better than the others but here are a couple of your best bets:

This path veers towards the left once the maze starts, which is tough because it goes through a porcupine-filled stretch as well as a narrow tricky path with no guardrails. If you can maintain a course without killing yourself though this is one of the straightest ways to go with only one major turn in the maze itself, although that one may be too out of the way.

This is the broadest, safest route, with not a porcupine in sight. It's also incredibly slow as it takes the driver on the most extreme route through the valley. This might be alright for Beginners or those racing in the 50 cc cup with terribly stupid computer players. Then again, you can get a long way by taking the shorter, more dangerous routes there.

This would be a nice route if not for the brutal 360° turn near the end with the threats of Porcupines, a drop and a lot of speed going into the Central Mountain. The first narrow bridge is also a tricky shoot to make. In all, not a great path to take.

This is going to be the fastest route, but it's also probably the most hazardous. Porcupines abound, but it's still very direct if you can avoid them. It's also the wider tunnel and it has no major turns or brushes with the edges or extremes of the course. Still, those Porcupines can be Satanic, so watch out. Just make it to the huge Center Mountain and you'll be fine. There are some other paths through the Valley but they're all derivative of these four main routes. Mostly the trade off is safety for slowness, but that's typical for Mario Kart. A good driver here is going to have good control, there isn't a whole lot of room to get some nasty speed going.

8:

This course returns as the Final Course of the Retro Leaf Cup in Mario Kart 8 with some of the greatest changes ever for a course remake. These are primarily cosmetic, as the course adds more mountains, rivers, water falls, and slight alterations in the hills and landscape to make the course feel very different. There are other more oblique alterations, though. That Red Route above now holds a Barrel Cannon to Air Blast players along the long distance. The Green Route also had its bridge replaced with a tunnel, which doesn't change too much but feels hella weird.

There are some other differences. The porcupines are now Goombas, and the Final Egg is significantly smaller. The Staff Ghost here is Yoshi, of course, who pulls a 2:28.814 using the Wild Wiggler, Standard Tires, and the Flower Glider. It's the only Ghost that features the Wild Wiggler as well as the Flower Glider. Considering that Air Travel is optional and not really the best route, you can bypass that entirely. The Wiggler is decent, not much Speed lost for heavy improvements in Handling. Throw on some Metal Tires to make it even more fearsome.

Desert Tracks

History:

There are many tracks in the vast Dry Dry Desert located in the Southeast of the Mushroom Kingdom, often similarly linked but owned by no single individual. Navigating the desert was extremely dangerous before the construction of an intricate railway system by Eduard Simpson in 1894. He named his train the K64 and it still runs to the Desert and Back and remains the major mode of transportation into the wastelands. Since the Mushroom Government eventually regulated the Rail Industry Toad was able to build the Kalimari Desert Track around an early loop by the K64. Over the years, though, it fell into Shy Guy hands as the influence of the K64 waned and the Shy Guys crept through the region. Also located in the Kalimari Desert is the Sunset Wilds, which is another public Track.

As more of the Dry Dry Desert was explored in the early 20th Century the Mushroom People discovered a vast lost civilisation. Naturally they were up for converting most of the beautiful ruins into Race Courses. It's just that popular. While maintaining its holdings in the Kalimari Desert, the Mushroom Government put vast stretches of the Dry Dry Desert up for Auction. Yoshi, using some winnings he had gathered from adventuring with Mario purchased a section of land that would eventually become the course known as Yoshi Desert. He also purchased a wide section around some quicksand that he would eventually give to Birdo as well as the rights for an intricate Temple System that would eventually become the Dry Dry Ruins track.

Deeper in the Desert is a track known as Desert Hills. It was first owned by Yoshi as part of the initial Desert Tracks Deal, but he was forced to sell it to Waluigi, possibly under infelicitous circumstances. As Waluigi was attempting to make it a signature track for the Waluigi Grand Prix, which never got off the ground, he upset the Angry Sun, who drove him out with a bombardment of Fire Snakes. The track fell into the temporary care of ROB before it became inhospitable to all by Dry Bones, who the Angry Sun had no real problem with.

Past the point where the K64 runs the Desert gets even more rugged. Beyond the Layer-Cake lay an enormous Dead Sea between the canyons, where Shy Guy Pirates and Dry Bones duke it out for supremacy. Morton Koopa Jr., being familiar with the desert environs sought to make his own personal track here after he was selected for the 2014 Grand Prix. It's one of the most inhospitable of regions, though, and when other tracks are full of ghosts or outer space, that's saying something.

64:

MK64 was the first to feature a Desert Track, but every game since then has followed suit, except for 7, where this course is merely re-made. The Kalimari Desert came at the end of the Mushroom Cup, a trend that only Double Dash continued. It's clearly based on the American Southwest rather than the Egyptian theme of some of the other tracks. It also doesn't have a whole lot that other Desert Tracks have repeated, although its train is distinctive enough to appear again in Paper Mario. It's pretty simple besides the occasional Train Crossing. Good characters are Toad or Peach, characters who can take advantage of some of the lean straightaways, although good Brakes are also important here.

This course returns in Mario Kart 7 where it leads off the Leaf Cup. MK64 courses lead off three of the four Retro Cups and this one has some significant changes. To utilize new Air Travel possibilities there are a few ramps where Drivers can fly over large sections of the track.  The Ghost here is Shy Guy, providing some kind of Desert Connection, possibly a reference to the Native American Shy Guys from Super Circuit. The Normal uses the Cact-X, Wood Wheels, and Swoop Glider in 02:01.932. The Expert goes 01:48.707 in the Bolt Buggy, Red Monster, and Ghastly Glider. There is no water here to worry about here, so sticking with just fast land Wheels and Gliders is key - something like Gold Wheels on the B Dasher with a Swoop Glider works great.

Super Circuit:

Sunset Wilds from the Lightning Cup is a really interesting track, there hasn't been another like it since. It is the only Mario Kart Track which features a noticeable time change, shifting from Sunset to Night by the third lap. It also features ancillary characters that interact with the Racers - Native American Shy Guys who pounce on a Driver if they disturb their Tee Pee. I guess I would do that too. Perhaps a commentary on the plight of the American Indian? I hope so. There are also inexplicable Dinosaur Tracks throughout the land, possibly leftover from some Giant Beast who once prowled those lands

Super Circuit also featured the first Egyptian Desert Course, and this one would have more influence over Future Desert Tracks than either Kalimari or Sunset Wilds. Yoshi Desert began the Association between Yoshi and Deserts as well as the Egyptian Motif. It also has Piranha Plants that will swallow wayward drivers, seen again in Double Dash's Dry Dry Desert, and a Giant Yoshi Sphinx, seen again in Wii's Dry Dry Ruins. It also has some Oases, later seen in DS' Desert Hills. It's interesting that it took this long for the template to really be set. It's also interesting that none of these tracks have ever been in a Retro Cup. Both these courses are very twisty and dangerous, I'd suggest racing with someone who has some kind of handling. This is the only Desert Track ever to be in the Star Cup.

Double Dash:

Double Dash returned the desert track as the Mushroom Cup Closer and this one is named after the Desert it's located in, Dry Dry Desert. There are plenty of Obelisks and Pokeys for the first time, which would reappear in every other Desert Track to come. There is also a terrible Sand Tornado which whips up Drivers, slowing them down immeasurably. Racers will avoid the Tornado only to find themselves on the edge of the Pit of Carkoon with a hungry Piranha Sarlacc in the middle. There are some very hill sections here on a long straightaway, meaning that if you're Kart isn't bouncing around it's a good time to catch up or get ahead. Try the Pipes or one of the Toad Karts for the best results. Double Dash also had a store of Secret Staff Ghosts. Continuing the Yoshi Association with Desert Tracks, the Ghost here is Birdo driving with Yoshi in tow, in the Turbo Yoshi with a time of 1:50:755.

DS:

The DS Flower Cup opens with Desert Hills, which is the only Desert Track to ever be in the Flower Cup, as well as the first opener that wasn't a Mushroom Track or a Mario Circuit since SMK. It's also more or less a simple loop unlike the twisted Super Circuit renditions. There are some nice wide straightaways as well as some gentle turns that aren't difficult for anyone with decent handling. Since you're looking for Handling and Speed I might bet on Luigi, ROB, Waluigi or Yoshi (most of whom actually have some ties to this track). Use their best rides.

Desert Hills is a strange track by association. Yoshi is busy with Yoshi Falls and without any other really appropriate Driver available the Ghost is ROB in the ROB-LGS with a time of 1:31:262 . This is the only Desert Track to ever get a remake, and the Wii Ghost is Dry Bone. The Normal Staff Ghost goes 02:10.233 in the Standard Bike S and the Expert does a  01:52.686 in the Tiny Titan. The Wii Version is also full of Waluigi Grand Prix signs for some reason as well a really pissed off Sun.

Wii:

By comparison this track seems so innocent leading off the Special Cup for the first time. Instead, this track is secretly insane. Besides the giant statues crumbling around you, there are some thread-the-needle Offroad Shortcuts, some inescapable sand, 90° Temple Turns and plenty of Pokeys and Bats to knock you around or at least ruin that final jump. There are tons of Wii courses whose maps look very friendly, indeed this is a simple loop, but full of so many obstacles as well as altitude changes, wide, slippery sandy track material and danger everywhere that it belongs in the Special Cup. Just think when you finish it gets tougher from there.

The Ghost here is back to Yoshi. The Normal goes a 02:30.949 in his signature Classic Dragster, while the Expert blasts off a 02:14.286 in the Nitrocycle. I had a tough time balancing the need for speed on this course with the obvious handling issues. I've actually had some luck with Daisy in the Dolphin Dasher, that'd be my recommendation.

8:

Bone-Dry Dunes is a callback to more a Kalimari / Sunset Wilds kind of craggy desert rather than the Egyptian-themed ruins that more modern games have featured. It's all shaded in a deep orange ochre with swirling vortexes of sand making tornadoes and rivers that can gobble racers up. There's a bit of a heady Mid-Eastern vibe here, too, possibly reminiscent of Shy Guy Bazaar with its caravans, tents, and craggily structures. It's possible to bypass anti-gravity sections entirely here, which is rare, so that could impact your Wheel selection. There is no water but a short air portion, along with some truly brutal turns towards the end of the track. The bone theme is apparent here, with Dry Bones who won't really upset your Kart but surely slow you down, along with Bone Piranha Plants, will mess you up completely.

The Staff Ghost here is Morton Koopa Jr., who uses the Tri-Speeder, Monster Tires, and Super Glider in 2:13.391. That's actually one of the better combos to handle both Speed and Traction, which is necessary in this awfully sandy course. Morton himself also has one of the higher base speeds. The handling will be completely wretched, though. You can pair the Monster Tires with something like the Standard ATV to maintain traction without losing speed or the Pipe Frame, which will lose a little bit of traction but gain handling without losing speed. Good luck, grasshopper.

Bowser Castles

History:

Deep within the Koopa Kingdom, otherwise known as Dark Land the Castle of the Great Lord Bowser looms over all else. While the sky is in a permanent thunderstorm and the land is full of ash, dead trees and lava, the Keep is where Bowser extends his dominion. The Castle itself was erected in the Dark Ages, sometime around 600 CE. No one knows exactly when Bowser inherited it, it's actually more likely that he wrested control of it from its previous occupant sometime in the early 1970s and quickly slapped his name on it as well as plenty of statues and other signifiers of his Cult of Personality. although Bowser has continually modernized it, filling it with mechanical versions of himself and other fusions of technology and magic to make alive plenty of Danger. When Mario obtained the Mario Circuit in the late 1980s, Bowser was not to be undone. The first Circuit retrofitted throughout the Keep was completed in 1991 and with the massive Koopa Troop backing its construction and filling the venue it has never been unpopular, regardless of their actual opinions.

Super:

Bowser Castle 3, Pit of Despair

Bowser's Castle has the most incarnations of any Course in Mario Kart History, a nod to the excess and insanity of Bowser Himself. SMK has three versions of the track, all of which are the penultimate tracks in the first three Cups. Each Bowser Castle precedes a Mario Circuit. Each one features a stone raceway lying in a pit of lava. Not unlike the Ghost Tracks, there is no Offroading here. Even for the Mushroom Cup there are plenty of twists and turns, usually 90° and there are gaps in the track that necessitate a jump over lava in every Course. These tracks seem to be in the belly of the Castle, perhaps in the Deepest Pit so that the denizens of the Mushroom Kingdom couldn't see what he was plotting upstairs. There are also attacking Thwomps. Ouch. All of these had another run in Super Circuit, although they were reformatted from the 5-Track/4-Cup system into a 4-Track/5-Cup one. All these tracks feature basically a series of linked straightaways connected by hairpin turns, which would favour the driving styles of Koopa or Toad.

64:

Bowser's Castle (note the changing possessive as we go along here) is the final Race in the Star Cup of 64. This time we're out of the basement and zooming all over the Castle, from the courtyard to a...Thwomp Prison of some kind, to a rickety Lava Bridge, a grand hall, another courtyard and finally the Castle Roof. Bowser seems to have infused his presence throughout the grounds, perhaps by some Dark Magic. His laugh may be heard echoing throughout the walls during the last lap or when a Drive gets a bit too close to his Statue.

This is a great course, it's a no brainer that it comes back in Wii as the Final Retro Course. It's actually the longest Retro Course, 64 was notorious for its long Races. The Normal Staff Ghost is Bowser, Jr who clocks in at 03:19.323 using the Standard Kart M. The Expert version uses the Nitrocycle in 02:55.933. This is a difficult course, there aren't many obvious straightaways to pick up speed, and there's enough danger around the 90° turns that handling is vital. Pick someone who has both Handling and Drift bonuses. And that would be...Mario? That works.

Super Circuit:

Super Circuit features even more Bowser Castles, one for every Cup but the Lightning Cup. This time Bowser Castle serves as the Final Race in Each except for the Special Cup wherein it's the penultimate track again. This has actually set a nice little trend - a Bowser Castle track has preceded Rainbow Road in each following game. The Thwomps return for all these tracks. Bowser Castle 1 seems to take place in the Bowels of the Keep again. Bowser Castle 2 is in some Great Hall with a massive statue of the Koopa King looming over the Racers. Bowser Castle 3 takes place on the roof, which is still across a giant lake of lava. It's possible that Bowser Castle 3 is some separate Courtyard on the Grounds in the Valley of Bowser. The Fourth and Final Bowser Castle in this game goes back into the Underground with some strange background that suggests some...Giant Fire Octopus or something. This is possibly the most complicated Bowser Castle Track up to this point. They usually actually tend to be relatively simple, just filled with tons of danger.

Bowser Castle 2 made a reappearance as a Retro Track in DS. The Staff Ghost is Bowser, obviously, in the Standard BW with a time of 1:52:258. Bowser Castle 3 came back for Wii, where the Normal Ghost is Dry Bowser in the Standard Kart L at 02:58.304, the Expert uses the Bowser Bike in 02:39.391. Finally and fittingly, Bowser Castle 1 came back in Mario Kart 7 with very little changes, and is also the only track from Super Circuit in the game. The Ghost here is back to Bowser where the Normal goes 01:31.030 using the Pipe Frame, Standard Wheels, and the Ghastly Glider, leaving much to be desired. The Expert goes 01:22.221 using the Koopa Clown, Roller Tires, and Super Glider, a far better combination, although for once Bowser is excelling at handling, not speed. It's interesting that these Super Circuit Tracks have been remade but nothing from SMK has made a subsequent appearance, outside of the Super Circuit redo.

Double Dash:

The Double Dash Bowser Castle is a doozy. It's again the penultimate course in the game and features racing through a Grand Hallway, Thwomp Danger, down to the deepest parts of the Castle and then up to the highest roof. Not content with a Statue of himself that breathed fire but didn't pose a threat to Racers in 64, the Giant Bowser Statue near the end of the course belches a constant stream of Fireballs at any slow-witted Driver here. There is also a vast moat of eery purple water, probably full of excess pollutants from the industrial sections of Dark Land as well as a continuous thunderstorm, tho no rain falls. It's most likely heat lightning due to all the industry and lava everywhere.

Double Dash had Secret Staff Ghosts for every track, one for each Initial Character as Lead Driver...except Bowser Jr. Shame. Anyway the Ghost here is Bowser/Bowser Jr in the Koopa King at 2:44:690. Like all the Castle courses, acceleration and handling are the keys to avoiding obstacles. I'd pick Boo Pipes, any lighter Kart is just going to get destroyed.

DS:

This game might get the prize for most ridiculous Bowser Castle. It is actually a basic loop with only a few smaller loops but there are some alternative paths, high and low, left and right as well as hardly any solid land at all. It has its drivers zooming across rotating metal cylinders, huge moving platforms and spinning rooms. Roughly the first half of the Race is indoors through another Thwomp Hallway and up some stairs. We don't see any dungeons here, most of the track flows through rooftops, courtyards and a gargantuan lake of lava outdoors. Find a Kart with weight enough not to doesn't bounce around and can get some speed to handle both all the jumps and the many straightaways. Perhaps Bowser himself in the Hurricane or DK in the Wildlife is the way to go. The Time Trial Staff Ghost here actually is Bowser again, this time in the Hurricane at 2:19:661.

Wii:

Bowser's Castle (are you paying attention to the possessive, yet?) for Wii is deceptively simple if one looks at the map alone. It seems like just two long corridors connected by some light turns, right? Neither straightaway can be properly taken advantage of - the first is a huge half-pipe with boosts and a giant fireball-breathing mechanical Bowser at the end of it. The second, which includes the starting point is full of lava geysers that swell and erupt at random. There's really an epic feel to this one, though. The hallways are massive and literally bend and shake as the Drivers fly through them. Most of it seems unlike the Bowels of Super Circuit or the Open Air of DS. It's very much directly the spiritual successor of the 64 Version. Actually only this and the 64 Version are called Bowser's Castle, hinting that these are the only ones he lives at. The rest are Bowser Castles, implying the name Bowser is a descriptor rather than a signifier of ownership. This is the only track that runs through a character's house, there has never been a Peach Circuit within Peach's Castle. I guess she just doesn't want tons of crazy Racers and Fans in her house. Bowser doesn't really care. This is definitely a Wii-influenced track, there is way too much craziness going on for this to be replicated on any other system the way, say, Moo Moo Meadows could have been. The carpet is also very nice.

The Normal Staff Ghost here is the Big Man, Bowser himself. He set a time of 03:04.836 in the Piranha Prowler, then the Expert did a 02:42.098 in the Bowser Bike. As such it's the second longest Original Track in the game (Rainbow Road's Ghost takes two seconds longer). There is one longer Retro Track though - the 64 Bowser's Castle.

These guys are brutal.

7:

Bowser's Castle returns as the penultimate course in Mario Kart 7. It uses much of the land, sea, and air travel that characterizes the game. It begins with a journey into the Dark Lord's mouth and then the paths split like they usually do, but this time both vertically and horizontally. There are plenty of Thwomps again, but this may be the most organic of any Bowser Castle. There are less hard angular turns and more caverns and wide paths, although bordered by lava. There aren't any courtyards or trees this time around, but there remains the enormous lava moat towards the end of the course as well as more mountainous terrain than has been seen previously. There's also a spinning tunnel reminiscent of the DS version. As far as length, it's the second-longest original track in the game to Rock Rock Mountain.

The Normal Time Trial Ghost here is again Bowser, who goes 02:34.815 using the Standard, Monster Tires, and Super Glider. The Expert switches to the Blue Seven, Red Monster Tires, and the Ghastly Glider in 02:15.244. This is a well-balanced option but still lacks Sea Speed. The same Kart with Roller Wheels can counter this without losing the high land speed he has.

8:

In 8 the version of Bowser's Castle is similar to the Wii version but everything is amped up. Everything is maxed out. Just look at the façade. There is this progression of the Bowser statue, too - in 64 there was a stationary statue in the first courtyard blowing fire that couldn't really hit you. In Double Dash there was a giant statue that moved left to right spitting fireballs during the last section of track. Wii had an enormous mechanical Bowser that would also spit fireballs, this time during a long half-pipe that eventually split. 8 features a fully animated half-stone / half-lava Bowser that punches the split anti-gravity track, causing it to wobble and yes, annihilate any forlorn racer caught in the way.

The entry way is also very similar to Wii, although it forgoes a split path (see: Twisted Mansion) but has many right angle turns down stairs that are really familiar. On the second lap it adds lasers though, you know, to stay on your toes. There are also tremendous vertical anti-gravity portions with jumps and fireballs and swinging pendulums. It ends with a bit of a cliffside portion that is really similar to any post-Double Dash Bowser's Castle, but also includes a significant air jump across a hazardous, lava-spewing lake. Good luck.

The Ghost here is Bowser, in the Badwagon with Standard Tires and the Super Glider, pulling in at 2:23.872. This is kind of a bizarre pick, not only does he avoid the Bowser Kite, which seems fitting, but the Badwagon is most useful as an underwater vehicle with decent traction. Bowser himself has always been designed around Speed without use for much else and something like the Sports Coupe and Monster Tires would seem more up his alley. Anyway, you can target these or plenty of other Karts to get a speedy edge on the Dark Lord.