Lakitu

History:

Green-Shelled Lakitus had for years served as the Marshals of the Grand Prix. They provide all officiating, including starting races, telling drivers when they're going backwards, and fishing them out of hazards or out-of-bounds areas. The Lakitus, normally enemies of Mario, agreed to be arbitrators in the Grand Prix because of their convenient ability to float and lift things, as well as their non-judgmental and impartial nature.

Tho these Green-Shelled members of the Lakitu Race were normally adversarial and strictly nonpartisan, a Red-Shelled Lakitu took it upon himself to enter into the actual Driving of the 2011 tournament. Such an act was unprecedented in the Lakitu community and he faced many trials and harsh words, as being non-bias observers and aides in the Grand Prix had become something of a staple in Lakitu Society. He faced exile from the Giga Lakitu himself, although his fat corruption by that point had known no bounds. Nevertheless, Lakitu found his way onto the Track, helped construct the Piranha Plant Slide with his allegiance with the Koopas, and even resurrected an ancient version of Rainbow Road using his Lakitu access to the Grand Prix Archives.

7:

Lakitu makes an odd appearance as a Driver in Mario Kart 7. He has a Red Shell to distinguish himself from other Evil Lakitus as well as the impartial Race Judge Lakitus. The Racers in 7 are divided into five weight classes of equal stats. In addition to this, each racer has his or her own signature Kart, though they are free to use any of the sixteen Karts, ten sets of wheels, and seven gliders, which makes a ridiculous number of possible combinations. Here we examine just one of those combinations that works well with Lakitu's class, the Featherweights, and his classic ride, the Cloud 9.

As a Featherweight, his stats are equal to Toad, Koopa, and Shy Guy. He excels at Sea Speed, Acceleration, Handling, Off-Road, Mini-Turbo, and Drift at the expense of Land Speed and Weight. These are a lot of advantages, but may not fit every playing style or course. The Cloud 9 is a good Kart that emphasizes the Featherweights, lacking Land Speed and Weight, but boosting everything else. To this we added the Mushroom Tires. Anything else would make its dismal Top Speed much lower, sacrifice its excellent underwater and aerial Speed, or rob it of some other advantage it needs over Off-Road. Its acceleration and handling stay high while its this stat plummets but doesn't become unbearable. This combo works in tracks with lots of Air and Sea travel, such as Cheep Cheep Lagoon, Koopa Cape, Piranha Plant Slide, Wario's Shipyard, and Koopa Troopa Beach. It can handle its own on land, but ultimately this is an aquatic vehicle now.

Lakitu, like all the other Drivers in 7, has two Staff Ghosts on two Tracks in Time Trials. His first is on Piranha Plant Slide where the Normal Staff Ghosts uses the Standard Kart, Monster Tires, and Super Glider in 02:20.186. The Expert switches to Lakitu's signature Cloud 9, with Sponge Tires, and Paraglider in 02:06.540. Neither takes advantage of the undersea ability of the Cloud 9. His second is on the retro SNES Rainbow Road, which he gets for being kind of an other-worldly, significant entry as a driver, considering the storied history of his species and Mario Kart. He goes 01:34.459 in the Pipe Frame, Slim Wheels, and Super Glider. His Drift, Mini-Turbo, and Handling are going to be excellent, although his speed will heavily decrease. If you can pull off a faster racer while staying on the track you can beat him. The Expert does 01:21.994 using the Cloud 9, Roller Wheels, and Paraglider. The Roller Wheels overemphasize the Cloud 9's strengths, as well as its weaknesses. While it will be a technologically efficient machine, again, its speed will be shot, take it down by not falling off.

Wiggler

History:

As part of the natural Fauna of the Mushroom Kingdom, Wigglers for centuries have milled about in the Woods and Mountains, content to mind their own business, eating leaves until one day becoming a pupae and later a Flutter, and then die. They bear no ill will towards intruders to their habitat such as Mario, but do not wish to be disturbed by anyone, and if mad will turn bright red and attack. Some have been known to grow to enormous sizes and are really big obstacles everywhere.

One Wiggler in particular assembled enough electrical impulses to make a coherent thought and joined the Grand Prix in 2011. It even successfully managed two courses, one in its Mountain Home of Rock Rock, the other in its natural forest home of Maple Treeway. It continues to race with the bare minimum of communication skills, baffling drivers and spectators alike.

7:

All of the unlockable characters in Mario Kart 7 are fairly bizarre, but the inclusion of Wiggler the Caterpillar takes the cake. He's set at the Cruiser weight class, which ties his base stats with Donkey Kong and Rosalina. Yep. Donkey Kong, Wiggler, and Rosalina. You can't get a more random weight class for the sub-heavyweights.

In 7, each class has its own base stats. To this we have assigned a Kart to each racer as best we could. Each Kart modifies stats, as does each set of Wheels and each Glider. There is therefore an incredible amount of combinations, 5600 in all. We'll present one of those combos with our Dear Wiggler in the Bolt Buggy today:

We've put emphasis on three strengths at the complete expense of everything else - Land Speed, Weight, and Off-Road. Even its stability is shot. This combo has a very direct set of uses - going fast, knocking everyone else around, and plowing through any kind of obstacle while avoiding Sea and Air Travel at all costs. Its Mini-Turbo and Air-Handling actually end up decent, but this is a Bulldozer-kind of combination. It would excel on courses like Wuhu Loop, Rock Rock Mountain, Luigi's Mansion, and DK Pass.

There are two Wiggler Staff Ghosts in this game, as there is for every character. He first shows up on Rock Rock Mountain where he does a 02:35.105 using the Standard with Red Monster Wheels and the Super Glider. It's probably an homage to the Wiggler under the mountain in Tiny-Huge Island from Super Mario 64. It's a tough match but other Karts like the B Dasher, Koopa Clown, or even our own Bolt Buggy with Slick Wheels can beat its speed. The expert isn't all that better, but he goes a 02:19.149 using the same combination but with the Flower Glider, which increases his air handling, tho it's less necessary here unless you're after coins. Stick with a Glider that doesn't slow down that big jump and you'll be fine.

The other Ghost is on the Retro Maple Treeway, which makes a lot of sense, considering that there was and still is a pair of Gigantor Wigglers on the course. Somehow this is the longest course in the game, and the Normal Ghost goes 02:53.560 using the Standard Kart, Wood Tires, and Super Glider. The Wood Tires seem all too natural, but they offer no great speed advantage here, although the handling is helfpul. The Expert goes 02:34.877 in the Egg 1, Sponge Tires, and Flower Glider, which means his drifting becomes decent as well as his Air Handling, but nothing else is spectacular. Maple Treeway will fall through a combination of Speed, Acceleration, and Handling, slapping the Wood Tires on the B Dasher or Growlster may prove successful.

Honey Queen

History:

For eons the Queen of all Bees has held dominion over the Bee Diaspora throughout the Universe. The Honey Queen is their unquestioned Lord, as she is the Mother of all Bees. She hails from the Honeyhive Galaxy, a close neighbor to the Mushroom Galaxy. She has been a longtime ally to Rosalina and the Lumas and more recently encountered Mario on his Interstellar Journeys. As the thrill of the Grand Prix has been exposed on a more Universal scale, the Honey Queen became intrigued. She was able to join in the 2011 Tournament and even put up a planet in her galaxy for a Battle Arena.

7:

The Honey Queen is an interesting addition to Mario Kart 7. Likely it was part of a goal to well-represent Female Characters better, which is commendable. She is a Heavy character, making her the largest Female in the series to date, dwarfing Rosalina who is of the Cruiser Class now. Each Class in 7 has identical stats, meaning she possesses the same base as Bowser, Wario, and Metal Mario. The Heavyweights have exceptional weight and speed, but lack everything else in comparison to other classes. In addition to this, there are sixteen different Karts, most of which are associated in some way with a particular Driver. To add to this intense customization are ten different sets of Wheels and seven different Gliders, all of which affect stats, making any Racer fairly customizable to fit any playing style. For now we've taken the Queen's signature Kart, the Bumble V for a closer look:

The addition of Wood Tires and the Paraglider make the Queen ready for any circumstance. She has above average stats in just about everything here and excels most at handling, especially in Sea and Air, as well as Off-Road, Drift, and Mini-Turbo. She's therefore ready for the most difficult courses and can recover quickly in any situation. This lack of specialization makes this combination less useful in courses without Off-Road or plenty of straightaways, such as Neo Bowser City, but lets her take control on tracks like Cheep Cheep Cape, Piranha Plant Slide, and Bowser's Castle.

Every character has two Staff Ghosts on two Courses in Time Trial Mode. The Honey Queen appears on the Original Rainbow Road in the Royal Ribbon with Slim Wheels and Peach's Parasol in 02:10.090. She'll have the best of both worlds with speed and handling, tho her parasol will slow her down in the air, which Rainbow Road can have plenty of. She switches to her own Bumble V with Standard Wheels and the Flower Glider in 01:52.077. This combo will almost do the same thing, with a bit less oblique speed. She has that touch of intergalactic novelty and royalty that makes her a good fit here.

Her second Ghost is at the Retro Coconut Mall, which I guess is girly enough for the Big Bee. She does a 02:30.117 using the Standard and Slim Wheels again, but this time uses the Super Glider, which means she won't lose air speed. The Coconut Mall doesn't require the handling the Slim Wheels provide and you can beat her with some speed. The Expert goes 02:14.167 in the Koopa Clown, Sponge Wheels, and Paraglider, which is great around the sharp turns here but again loses Speed.

Metal Mario

History:

Mario discovered a ! Box in the Mushroom Kingdom that could turn his entire body into Metal years ago. He used this to become invulnerable, sinkable, and much heavier. Eventually this essence was seized by the extra-dimensional entity known as Master Hand. Master Hand created a physical representation of this essence and set it as a slave to do his bidding and in the extra-dimensional wars known as Super Smash Bros., Metal Mario was his longest and most faithful servant.

Eventually though, Metal Mario was able to break free from Master Hand's control, in part due to his continued exposure to the origin of his essence, Mario. Master Hand, furious, exiled him to the Mushroom Kingdom where he wandered for years until finally eking out a bitter existence. Metal Mario has no emotions, is invulnerable to all known physical damage. As he is finding himself though, his mental capacities are growing and inside grows a bitterness for the Mario that can feel.

7:

There are an insane amount of play options in Mario Kart 7. There are five different sets of stats based on weight to which are added sixteen different possible Kart stats, ten different wheels, and seven different gliders. This makes for a total of 5600 different combinations. Here we will present just one of those combinations - the one that would best fit a playing style that adheres to Metal Mario's most basic stats. It is possible however, to change his stats so that the character can be used to fit just about anything.

This is the only Mario Kart Game where Metal Mario appears and the only game he has shown up in as a distinct character in a decade. He is a Heavyweight, giving him the same base stats as Bowser, Wario, and the Honey Queen. He therefore possesses great Land Speed and Weight at the expense of Sea Speed, Acceleration, Handling, Off-Road, Mini-Turbo, and Weight. This would seem a large disadvantage if Land Speed and Weight weren't the only things that mattered in some Grand Prix Races. We've taken him in the Pipe Frame Kart then, which fits his metallic nature, along with Gold Accessories to complete a lovely Silver and Gold Theme to come up with a Racer who can dominate on land. His stats are thus:

This combo works when you need Land and Air Speed to be tremendous while not being pushed around at the expense of everything else. This is a pure racer that needs to only go straight, stay on the path with minimal acceleration and mini-turbo capabilities. There are plenty of courses that fit this, including any Circuit Track, Rock Rock Mountain, and Wuhu Loop. The cool, but complex thing about 7 is that Racers can be so customized that if this doesn't suit your love for Metal Mario there are plenty more adaptable ways to fill those needs.

Metal Mario appears as the Staff Ghost in two courses, as do all characters here. He first shows up in Neo Bowser City, which seems bizarre that he is snarking in on someone else's namesake, but it is a cold, unforgiving city befitting of the Metal One's nature. He uses Standard Everything and the Super Glider, essentially racing as a blank slate in 02:11.032. The Expert goes 01:58.996 using the Blue 7, Monster Wheels, and Paraglider, which should be substantially faster and plays to his strengths, and weaknesses. His second ghost is the Retro Airship Fortress, another track supposedly tied by Bowser. He uses the Zucchini, Slick Wheels, and Glider this time in 02:23.323, which is an awful Kart. The Expert transitions to the Standard, Monster Wheels, and Super Glider in 02:07.704, which is almost like the Neo Bowser City Expert but less polarized.

Dry Bowser

History:

During a routine battle with Mario in his Castle, Bowser was knocked into a pit of lava. While normally his thick skin would have protected him, this time Bowser tried to absorb the very power of the pit around him in a last ditch effort to destroy Mario. This proved to be too much for even the Dark Koopa Lord to take on, and Bowser's soul actually passed on to the netherworld but his dark essence was able to survive and reanimate his skeletal structure similar to Dry Bones. Now a soulless monster, Dry Bowser, as he came to be known, terrorized the Mushroom Kingdom and became King of the Dry Bones. Bowser's soul was eventually able to return to a new fresh body provided through the efforts of Bowser, Jr. and Kamek. Now that Dry Bowser and Bowser exist independently of each other, they have entered in an uneasy truce, as Dry Bowser possesses much of memories and abilities of Bowser, tho twisted and demented because he survives only as the product of a Dark Magic Will.

Wii:

Dry Bowser may be the coolest racer in any Mario Kart game and he makes his appearance only in Wii, where he is a Large Class Driver. Each size class in Wii has access to Six Karts and Six Bikes, all of varying stats. Additionally, each character adds his or her own specific bonuses to certain stats. Dry Bowser is a tricky driver. His +6 Off-Road Bonus ties Toadette as the best in the game, although there are far less vehicles available for him to take advantage of. His +6 Mini-Turbo ties Wario, Dry Bones, and Koopa Troopa as the best in the game, which again, is tricky to take advantage of. His specific stats for each vehicle are as follows:

His best ride may be the Phantom, which does have a pretty decent Off-Road, making him able to snake through shortcuts with ease as well as making mistakes or accidents that send him into the rough a little more forgiving. If there's a course without this advantage though, such as Rainbow Road or Toad's Factory, either the Honeycoupe or Shooting Star with his superior Drift, Speed, and especially Mini-Turbo can be deadly.

Dry Bowser has two Staff Ghosts in Time Trials. His first and arguably signature course is Grumble Volcano, a course literally succumbing to the Lake of Lava it rests in mirrors his own twisted existence. He does a 02:28.237 in the Offroader, while the Expert switches to the Spear and goes 02:11.852. The Offroader, despite providing his great Off-Road advantage, is not nearly fast enough for Time Trials, and the Spear doesn't really take advantage of his strengths, although it is very fast. His other Ghost is on the Retro Bowser Castle 3, which has no Off-Road at all, so it robs him of that advantage. The Normal goes 02:58.304 in the Standard Kart L and the expert goes 02:39.391 in the Flame Runner. It's an exceedingly difficult course but Dry Bowser in the Flame Runner isn't the best option, play to whatever speed or handling strength you have and take him down.

Funky Kong

History:

Funky is well-known throughout the Mushroom World as the Funkiest Dude Alive. He grew up alongside Donkey Kong on the DK Island, and was as much a brother as a friend to the Lord of the Island. He always had a much more laid back approach to life than Donkey did, though. Despite this fact, he ran a few successful businesses. Starting as a surfer, Funky was able to actually create his own Regional Airline Service, although the speed and hazards involved in his Barrel Planes turned away about all but Donkey and Diddy Kong. He was later able to branch out into mechanical repair and even did a little gun-running. He was soon sitting on enough funds to fully support his thrill-seeking personality, having never inherited the vast Banana Fortune that Donkey did.

While he never owned a course of his own, his close relationship with Donkey Kong gave him free reign of his many courses. Funky was able to invest his personal wealth instead into a massive venue, Funky Stadium, that was used for every kind of extreme sport imaginable, although he gained the most notoriety from using it for Mario Kart Battles.

Wii:

Funky makes his only appearance in Wii, and it's a lasting impression. As a large-sized character he is able to push around many of the littler racers. For each size class in Wii the drivers can choose between six Karts and six Bikes, each of which with specific stats. In addition, each character adds his or her own bonuses. Funky adds +4 Speed and +3 Off-Road. The stats for the twelve vehicles Funky may use are as follows:

While his Off-Road stat for many of the large vehicles is useless, his speed is where it's at. He has the best speed boost of any Large Character, which boosts their already impressive speed. This means that Funky in the Jetsetter is the fastest Kart in the game and he makes the Spear the fastest Bike. The abysmal handling and acceleration of these rides makes them less valuable however. If he jumps in something like the Flame Flyer or Flame Runner he is slightly more balanced while still taking great advantage of speed - and many Time Trial World Records are set with that combo.

Funky's Off-Road is useless because he's so fast on the track that skilled drivers should never be taking him Off-Road. The only Large vehicles that could take advantage of this, the Offroader and the Wario Bike, have speed so bad that they should be useless to Funky. Wario, Waluigi, King Boo, and Dry Bowser all have Off-Road stats equal to or greater than Funky's, along with other stats that support different driving styles. Funky is all-speed, and when using him you need to get ahead early and drive well enough to stay there forever. He's nasty.

His only ghost is on the Retro DK Mountain where he uses the Wario Bike in 02:57.744. Again, this doesn't really use Funky's advantages and should be beaten easily. The Expert Ghost though, upgrades to the Flame Flyer in 02:38.130. DK Mountain has enough turns to slow him down though, pick someone with comparable speed and better handling such as Daisy in the Mach Bike or Dolphin Dasher and you'll have a good shot. While Funky doesn't have any tracks named after him, he does have the Funky Stadium Battle Stage. Funky Stadium is one of only two Battle Courses named after a character (The other being Luigi's Mansion from Double Dash), although there are others associated with specific characters, especially in Mario Kart 7.

Rosalina

History:

Rosalina is one of the most powerful figures of the Mushroom Galaxy. She started out as a mortal girl in the Mushroom Kingdom centuries upon centuries ago, older than even Lord Bowser. One day she was contacted by an emissary of the Lumas, supposedly looking for its mother. Unbeknownst to Young Rosalina, the Luma was lying, for its true intention was to obscond with Rosalina and make her into the new Mother Figure for the Luma people and by extension, the Galaxy.

As Rosalina began consuming the Star Bits of the Lumas her powers grew. The Star Bits linked her awareness to the cosmos and she eventually rose to become the Guardian Mother of the Universe, presiding over many galaxies and able to transport her Comet Observatory any where nearly instantaneously. For all her wisdom she has failed to realize the trickery of the Lumas, though she now accepts her role graciously.

Her first contact with Mario came when Bowser expanded his threat to the entire Universe and developed Space Travel. Since then she has become his ally, for her powers of teleportation, clairvoyance, and making bubbles are not adequate to deal with Bowser's Dominion, nor is her role to actively protect the cosmos, rather to silently watch for danger and then recruit a warrior. After Bowser was defeated she was perplexed to find that apparently in between Wars all these people do is race each other. She quickly joined the Circuit and has even begun to use her extensive abilities, contacts, and influence to design and procure her own Race Tracks.

Wii:

Rosalina is an outstanding Racer in Mario Kart Wii, though extremely difficult to unlock without a Super Mario Galaxy Save File on the same hard drive (which unlocks her automatically after 50 races). Each driver in this game is sorted into Three Separate Size Classes, each of which has access to Six Karts and Six Bikes of various stats. Additionally, each Character adds his or her own Bonuses to certain stats. It's notable that Rosalina is the first ever Large Female Character and does driver similar to a Big Daisy. She adds a moderate Speed, Handling, and Mini-Turbo Bonus, identical to Daisy, but more balanced (+3 in each instead of Daisy's +4/+2/+3). Her specific stats for each Kart are as follows:

She excels most with her signature Bike and Kart, the Shooting Star and Honeycoupe, respectively. Both are fairly balanced with favours toward Speed and Mini-Turbo. It makes Rosalina a danger in just about any circumstance although her acceleration and Off-Road may leave something to be desired. She therefore does best when she doesn't hit anything and stays on the path. She's a good character to get in front and stay there.

She has a single Staff Ghost in the game, claiming Rainbow Road as her home to go along with her mystic, cosmic origins. She first uses the Shooting Star in 03:05.895, while her Expert switches to the Jetsetter in 02:44.734. This is the longest of all the Original Tracks and Rainbow Road is arguably the hardest course in the game to Finish, let alone beat a Staff Ghost. Luckily among drivers there are options in any given style better than Rosalina so play to your strengths and style and beat her.

7:

Rosalina returns in Mario Kart 7, this time in the Cruiser Weight Class, one notch below the true Heavyweights. Is she really as big as DK or Wiggler? Sure. In 7 each Weight Class affects stats but the characters don't as much, meaning that she's essentially identical to both DK and Wiggler. Again, bizarre to think about. Each Kart adds or subtracts from these base stats but then players can additionally manipulate stats by selecting specific wheels or gliders. It's a dizzying way to customize a racing experience. For simplicity's sake we'll pair Rosalina with a Kart befitting her needs, in this case the Gold Standard. Its disadvantages in Air Speed, Acceleration, and Mini-Turbo are largely mitigated by the Roller Tires and Parasol. Just one of the many possible Rosalina combinations follows:

She also has one signature course in 7, the first explicitly Rosalina Track in the Mario Kart series, Rosalina's Ice World. It matches her frosty exterior and has a great deal of elements from the Super Mario Galaxy series, including visual references to the Cosmic Cove Galaxy and the Comet Observatory. With the combination set forth above Rosalina is above par in everything, albeit with a massive sacrifice in drift. This can be solved by using either the Slim or Wood tires as well as the Gold Glider.

She has two ghosts in the Time Trials of the game, as does every character. Her first, Music Park is kind of random, but it's a girly enough track. The Normal Ghost uses the Royal Ribbon, Roller Wheels, and Super Glider in 02:19.336, the Expert uses the Soda Jet, Slim Wheels, and Parafoil in 02:07.551. Her other Ghost is on her eponymous Ice World. The Normal goes 02:25.784 using the Standard, Sponge Wheels, and Parafoil while the Expert pulls a 02:13.091 using the Gherkin, Red Monster Wheels, and Super Glider.

Baby Daisy

History:

When they were children, Luigi and Daisy were known to hang out on occasion. From far off Sarasaland, Daisy would often visit the friendlier Mushroom Kingdom, but as things turned darker, the Baby Versions of Mario, Luigi, and even Peach found themselves transported to a calmer future where games reigned rather than battles with the likes of Baby Bowser, Kamek, and Princess Shroob. Baby Daisy was furious that Baby Luigi had left her, although he was admittedly fretful of her driving. She was eventually able to contact Prof. E. Gadd and get herself transported into the future as well.

Wii:

Mario Kart Wii is the first of only two appearances of this desperately unnecessary character. The game makes up for this however, but making Baby Daisy both one of the better Small Drivers and incessantly cute. Every racer in Wii has access to Six Karts and Six Bikes of his or her specific Size Class, all of varying stats to suit different playing styles. Additionally each character adds his or her own bonuses to various stats. Baby Daisy is the fastest Small Driver in the game, tied with Luigi, and the second-heaviest, tied with Baby Peach. She also has a small Mini-Turbo Bonus, the only Baby to do so. Her Vehicle-Specific Stats are as follows:

She really takes best advantage of the Blue Falcon's blistering speed, which is very un-Small-like in nature, but her natural boosts help to counter the usual weaknesses of any Small Character. The Tiny Titan or Jet Bubble are probably going to be better options. Her one Staff Ghost is on Moo Moo Meadows where she uses the Booster Seat in 01:37.856. The Expert Staff Ghost on the same track pulls a 01:25.909 in the Bullet Bike, which is another great Vehicle for her. Baby Daisy is just one of the best Small Drivers around.

Baby Peach

History:

Like Baby Mario and Baby Luigi, Baby Peach currently exists displaced from her original time period. After the events of their battle with Princess Shroob, it was decided that even in the past, Princess Toadstool's life was in constant danger. Her major adviser of the time, Toadsworth has placed the infant Peach into the safer, future time period until he deems it proper for her to return and live out her life in accordance with proper fate.

Wii:

Mario Kart Wii really went overboard with the Baby Characters in an effort to boost the amount of Small Class Drivers. Within each Class in Wii, each character has access to six bikes and six karts of various stats. In addition, each character adds his or her own bonuses to each of these stats. Baby Peach actually has a ridiculous amount of bonuses, the best in the game. That said, while she is awesome amidst the other Small Characters, she may still be knocked around by the bigger racers. Her specific stats for each Kart are as follows:

She gets a decent Speed, Acceleration, and Handling boost as well as a Weight boost identical to Baby Daisy but lower than either Baby Mario or Baby Luigi. There are other Small Characters with better bonuses in each of these areas but Baby Peach is the only one with all four categories getting a prop.

Baby Peach appears as a Staff Ghost only on the retro Peach Gardens track. She pulls a 02:34.894 in the Magikruiser while the Expert version does a 02:16.777 in the Mini-Beast. The Mini-Beast is one of her best Kart options, although the Jet Bubble may be her best option at a Bike, depending on your play style.

Shy Guy

History:

The Shy Guys are an interesting race. They inherently do not interact with many other races in the Mushroom Kingdom but do find employment in a wide variety of locales, both for good and evil. They are a cultish, secret people and as such their origins are foggy. They're first documented encounter with Mushroom People was in Dinosaurland in the mid-16th Century although it's possible they originated from Subcon. Their secret society has gone back for Millennia although it seems to be fairly loosely structured. There isn't much evidence of personality or a history of the Shy Guys who have raced in the Grand Prix a handful of times and it's even possible they aren't all the same one. For the 2011 Grand Prix the Mushroom Kingdom received some possible insight into their world with the unveiling of the Shy Guy Bazaar track, located in the reaches of Dinosaurland, although the Koopas previously intruded on Shy Guy Beach against the wishes of the Pirate Faction of Shy Guys. Unlike the lone Koopa Troopa who has entered himself in the Cup alongside Bowser, no single Shy Guy races and it is known that even in between races different members of the race substitute for each other.

DS:

There is a lot to explain here. Shy Guys have appeared in some way in almost every Mario Kart game, whether by simple crowd appearances in 64, to aggressors in Super Circuit to simple ice skaters and snowboarder obstacles in Double Dash and Wii. Shy Guy appears as a playable racer in DS, though only in Download Play. DS had the option to do multiplayer with another person who had a Nintendo DS but not th e Mario Kart game through temporarily downloading portions of the game. In this case and this case only, the gamer without the Mario Kart game cartridge would race as a randomly coloured Shy Guy.

Shy Guy's stats have been contentious. While many sources acknowledge that he is in the Light Weight Class, it is less clear what his actual Kart Stats are. Some sources place all of his stats at 6/10, meaning he is slightly above average in every way which gives neither a real advantage or disadvantage, making him a neutral character. Others say he is even more neutral, at 5/10. The Super Mario Wiki, which is one of the more reputable Mario Information Sources, however, claims that his stats are identical to Yoshi's Standard YS, giving it the following:

This is also backed up by some Angry YouTube users as well as other compilation sites. Needless to say, Shy Guy doesn't appear as a Ghost in any way. His weight is 0.5, also the same as Yoshi. He is basically just Yoshi.

7:

Shy Guy returns in Mario Kart 7 as an unlockable character, available to play anywhere. 7 has a staggering number of combinations with the amount of Characters, Karts, Wheels, and Gliders to mix and match. Shy Guy is part of the Feather Weight Class, the lightest in the game. His signature Kart is the Cact-X, which is generally pretty awful Feather Weights have a ton of advantages, including Acceleration, Handling, Offroad, Mini-Turbo, and Drift. The Cact-X negates the Acceleration and Mini-Turbo advantages while lowering the already low speed (especially underwater), although it makes its Handling and Offroad Top-notch. We can note that 7 is so complex that Shy Guy can use certain wheels to resolve the disadvantages of the Cact-X. For courses with more land travel the Slick Tires would be a good combination, otherwise the Wood Tires can help out its low Sea Speed and Acceleration. It doesn't have any tremendous disadvantages in the Air but the Swoop Glider can add some nice boosts.Here are Shy Guy's stats both with the Standard and Cact-X and just some of these combinations.

Needless to say, when every Kart is available there are many more that may fit Shy Guy's unique racing style, or the style of play of any casual gamer. This intense level of customization makes 7 a difficult game to claim a best combination. Shy Guy does have a signature track here as well, the Shy Guy Bazaar that closes out the Mushroom Cup.

Shy Guy has two Time Trial Staff Ghosts, as do all drivers. In his Bazaar he does a 02:31.167 using the Standard, Roller Wheels, and Super Glider, which is a fairly basic combination. The Expert on the same track uses the Pipe Frame, Monster Wheels, and Parafoil in 02:14.714, none of which really takes advantage of each other's bonuses. His second ghost is on the Retro Kalimari Desert. The Normal Ghost uses a good combo of his signature Cact-X, Wood Wheels, and Swoop Glider in 02:01.932 while the Expert does a 01:48.707 using the Bolt Buggy, Red Monster Wheels, and Ghastly Glider. There are better styles out there though, anything with fast land speed will take him down.

R.O.B.

History:

R.O.B. the robot is an interesting case. Scholars in the Mushroom Kingdom are unsure of where exactly he came from but sources indicate that it is possible that he is a temporarily displaced in his own space-time, similar to how Master Hand is able to assemble fighters for the Super Smash Tournaments. R.O.B. does not originate from the Mushroom Dimension and so has no real ties or relationships to anyone else. He exists only to race, although he had some kind of natural connection to Rainbow Road, perhaps using his temporal displacement to help construct the similarly otherwordly track.

DS:

R.O.B. appears only as an unlockable character in DS for some reason. He really has no purpose being here but nevertheless he provides another good heavyweight character. The system in DS provides three unlockable signature Karts for each character, although every character may use any Kart. These include a standard, one with better stats but a weak Item rating and one with worse stats but a high Item rating. R.O.B. generally has excellent Speed, along with the best Acceleration and Handling of any Heavyweight. He is also tied with Bowser as the Heaviest driver, adding 3.5 to the weight of each Vehicle. This all comes at the expense, however, of his Drift, which is the worst in the game. Take a look:

There are also Staff Ghosts in DS. R.O.B. owns the Desert Hills track for some reason, with a time of 1:31:262 using the ROB.-LGS along with Rainbow Road in the ROB-BLS in 2:16:246. The Rainbow Road here makes sense, R.O.B. is a weird character for that weird track, but the Desert Hills is awfully random. Needless to say, R.O.B. did not make a comeback after this game.

Dry Bones

History:

As Lord Bowser and his Major Domo, Kamek increasingly experimented with Dark Magic, they became obsessed with ideas of immortality. As Bowser encountered King Boo in the Boo Woods his interest turned not towards extending life but towards defeating Death. After countless Dark Magic trials on the innumerable Koopa Bodies robbed of life by Mario he perfected his skeletal fighting force - the Dry Bones. They aren't exactly zombified flesh-eaters but rather reanimated bones heavily resistant to heat and physical damage. In an effort to create a more loyal follower than Koopa or Paratroopa to race alongside him, Bowser invited the most worthy Dry Bones to race in the 2005 Grand Prix and he has been there ever since.

DS:

Dry Bones debuted as the only Lightweight Secret Character in DS. That game has an interesting system. Each Character slowly unlocks Three Signature Karts with varying stats - one average, one worse, but with a good Item Rating, and one that's excellent but with a low Item Rating. Eventually though, all Twelve Characters can access all 36 Karts, making for a crazy amount of combinations. Characters in different Karts don't change stats besides their initial Weight Class. Dry Bones adds nothing to the weight of any Kart, making him the Lightest in the game. Dry Bones' initial Kart Offerings are thus:

His Acceleration and Handling are among the best in the game. In fact, the Dry Bomber is the only Kart with a perfect 10 in both of those categories. His drift is slightly below average, but his speed is really awful. The Banisher has by far the Worst Speed in the Game. Still, the Dry Bomber is an excellent choice for anyone in Grand Prix.

Dry Bones' Ghosts in every game have only featured on Retro Tracks. features as a Staff Ghost on two Courses. He finishes the Donut Plains 1 with the Dry Bomber in 1:08:027, possibly alluding to his dryness. He's also in the 64 Banshee Boardwalk with the same ride in  2:14:403, a clear reference to his spookiness.

Wii:

Wii featured Three Size Classes who each had access to Six Karts and Six Bikes of varying stats. Each Individual Character also has his or her own Bonuses that add to certain stats. Dry Bones again has an Acceleration Bonus as well as a Drift Bonus but he really excels at Mini Turbo. His +6 is tied for the highest in the game and when using the Bullet Bike he ties with Koopa as the highest Mini Turbo Stat available. Here are his specific Stats:

The Bullet Bike is also the closet thing he has to a Signature Kart because its colour scheme fits Bullet Bill's actual colour scheme when Dry Bones uses it. You should use that Kart with Dry Bones for sure, it's one of the better Small Vehicles and Dry Bones makes it better. His Bonuses favour a very specific style of play, though, one that relies on managing tricky turns and corners with plenty of drifting and control. It can be advantages for complex courses in the hands of experienced racers.

His one Ghost appears in the Retro Desert Hills. Not only is it a course from his original Kart Game, DS, it's a very dry course. Dry Course? Dry Bones. It's all coming together. The Normal Ghost uses the Standard Bike S in 02:10.233, the Expert upgrades to the Tiny Titan in 01:52.686. That Kart only nominally takes advantage of Dry Bones' Bonuses. Switch to the Bullet Bike and take him down.

King Boo

History:

Centuries ago a Great King ruled over the Koopa Kingdom. He died in a Great War with the Mushroom Kingdom but his soul was unwilling to pass on. He became one of the Boos, and tho he forgot his past life he still contained great power within him and the other Boos tended to follow his lead. Now fearless and immortal, the King held up in Boo Woods eventually strengthening it as a Ghost Stronghold. He has a loose relationship with Lord Bowser, sometimes allying troops for a common cause but swearing no allegiance. He is also friendly with Petey Piranha, who seeks to become the King of All Piranha Plants like King Boo did with the Ghosts. Finally, he detests Luigi, mostly for his part in kidnapping the Boolossus, one of the King's loyal followers.

Double Dash:

King Boo first appeared in Luigi's Mansion and then made his first racing appearance in Double Dash a few years later. He's an Unlockable Character who partners up with Petey Piranha. The game focused more on Kart Differences rather than Driver Stats, although each Racer has his or her unique Special Item as well as a signature Kart. King Boo is a Heavyweight despite really being floaty and weightless, and drives the Boo Pipes, which is one of the Best Karts for Grand Prix in the game.

The Boo Pipes are the third heaviest Kart but otherwise act like a Light Vehicle. It has very fast Acceleration, 6th in the game overall and First by far for the Heavy Karts. It also has one of the Best Offroad Speeds in the game, again First among Heavies by far. It also has the Best Shocks in the game, meaning that it's not going to bounce around and lose speed on courses with tons of hills like DK Mountain or Waluigi Stadium. Its only faults is the relatively low top speed, at 56 mph it's the worst among Heavy Karts and fair inability to maintain speed through turns. In general though it's big and stable enough to catch a lot of speed early and not be completely wrecked while driving a Grand Prix. It has every feature of a Light Kart without the weight issues, which is far better than the Barrel Train, which is a Light Kart that acts Heavy.

Boo also has one of the best Specials - he gets a Random Item based on his position on the course. If you're in Last place you'll get Chain Chomps and Golden Mushrooms, First will get Giant Bananas and Bob-ombs and so on. This way Boo tends to be successful no matter where he is, meaning he's one of the better Racers for Grand Prix. He also takes up less screen space than Petey, meaning he's basically the Best Racer in the game. Pick Boo. As a Secret Character he has no Staff Ghosts.

Wii:

After a break and not appearing in DS, King Boo returns in Wii. This game featured Three different Size Classes of Eight Drivers each. All of these Racers then had access to Six Bikes and Six Karts each with varying stats. In addition each Character added certain Bonuses to each Stat, making for a dizzying number of possible combinations. King Boo is a Large Character again and gets a +5 Handling Bonus, which is beaten only by Baby Mario as well as a +3 Offroad Bonus. Here are King Boo's specific Stats:

King Boo doesn't really drive like a normal Large Character with High Speed or Mini Turbo. There are a few Vehicles that play to his strengths though. The Offroader and Wario Bike both offer high Handling and naturally, The Phantom works with him to take some sharp corners. He is also good with other Vehicles like the Flame Runner, though, because his high Handling counter-balances its originally awful Stat. In general though, King Boo is far from as dominantly awesome in Grand Prix as he was in Double Dash and there are some better choices out there.

He has a single Staff Ghost who calls the Retro Ghost Valley 2 from SMK home. The Normal Ghost goes 01:06.595 in the Standard Kart L while the Expert upgrades to the Spear in a blistering 00:58.907, which is the Fastest Ghost Time in the Game and the only one under Sixty Seconds.

Petey Piranha

History:

When he was just a small boy Bowser Jr. was strolling through the Bianco Hills on Isle Delfino on his way to plot against Mario. He stumbled upon a small Piranha Plant that seemed different than the rest. This one was ejected from the ground and covered his shame in a tiny Polka-Dot speedo. It whimpered and Bowser Jr. decided to breed it for his Army. Unlike the Piranha Plants that fed on just about anything though, this one, whom Bowser Jr. named Peter only fed on Blood, which Bowser Jr. supplied himself for a while before eventually sacrificing some of the hapless Piantas. Eventually Peter grew and grew and rebelled against his master. Petey wanted to make himself Lord of All Piranha Plants and as his power grew he refused to be subservient to Bowser Jr., although he was willing to work with him, if only because Bowser Jr. promised Mario to be a tasty treat.

Since those days Petey has grown into his own and although it's difficult to claim lordship over a Plant Army that can't move, Petey has still attempted to become the King of All Piranha Plants. He continues to work alongside Bowser, seeing that his is the true power in the Mushroom World, not his arrogant Son. Still, Petey's size, strength and appetite make him no pushover for the Koopa King to boss around. In this status as an ancillary opponent to the Mario Bros. he has also met King Boo and formed a close friendship with him over the years. After all, as a Mushroom Kingdom Plumber one of the Bros.' largest roles is to clean the thousands of Pipes that litter the land. Piranha Plants find these pipes to be a natural home, so the Bros. painfully clear them of Petey's own kind. This doesn't make the guy happy.

Double Dash:

Petey Piranha joins Paratroopa as the only Characters who appear only in Double Dash, where he's definitely a solid Driver. He's also the second Super Mario Sunshine character to appear here after Bowser Jr. Double Dash sorted its characters into three different Weight Classes although their individual stats didn't matter as much as their Karts did in determining Race Winners. Each character has his or her own Signature Kart and Special Item. Petey drives the Piranha Pipes.

The Pipes are solid. They are very fast, have great shocks, average turn speed and are the 2nd Heaviest Kart in the Game. It also has a very strong Offroad for its size, ranking 2nd among Heavy Karts. Its acceleration is its only lacking stat, 18th in the game overall, although it's 3rd among Heavy Karts. They're a good choice for a heavy vehicle that isn't as painfully slow to get going as the Koopa King or DK Jumbo. The Pipes were inspired by the more typical Piranha Plant that calls it home.

Petey partners with King Boo and they both have a random Item as their Special, which really is the best in the game. If they're falling behind they'll get a Chain Chomp or Golden Mushroom. If they're ahead they'll get a Giant Banana or Bob-omb. It's the best of every world. Once unlocked, Petey or King Boo often will win the 150 cc Grand Prix, and there's a good reason for that. The major drawback with using Petey is actually that the thing is so big, with a huge flower head that impairs visibility. You can literally miss a Green Shell heading straight for you because his head is in the way. The camera is noticeably farther back when using Petey though it doesn't really help that much. As a secret character he has no Secret Staff Ghosts.

Toadette

History:

Toadette is a ruthless provocateur who has slutted her way to the top of the Mushroom Kingdom through undeniable ambition and cunning political and personal tactics. She is very young but knew all the right people to sleep with to become a powerful influence on the rule of the Royal Family - namely, Toad. As a child she was a compulsive Musician and Softball Player. She practiced constantly, unhappy with being anything but the very best. She soon turned her whirling dynamo of motivation to the realm of politics and found it dominated by ineffective men like Toad and awkward rulers who had come into Power far before she was ready like Peach, who had no idea how to run a Kingdom. Toadette first flirted with Toad while he was seeking asylum in Yoshi's Island after a recent blunder that let Bowser enter the Kingdom and kidnap the Princess once again. Toad fell in love instantly and invited Toadette back to the castle to be his bride. She refused the wedding but accepted the Castle invite, and has been a Puppet Master ever since. Her guile and wits are matched only by her ability to sleep with anyone who she can't convince to change policy with her serpentine words. Through a systematic process of blackmail and deception she has managed to become more powerful in the Kingdom than Toad himself, whose own impotence politically and sexually has now long hindered his ability for real confidence of any kind.

Double Dash:

Toad is a very sweet girl in Double Dash, which is actually her first appearance ever. She partners with Toad automatically and was clearly shoe-horned into the game because no other Lightweight really meshed with the Mushroom Head. She's really identical to Toad in every way, Double Dash put more emphasis on Kart Selection than Drivers, who only determined the Weight Class of Karts available and Special Items. Each Character though, does have his or her own Signature Kart. Toadette, very creatively, drives the Toadette Kart.

The Toadette Kart is actually very similar to the Toad Kart, with some slight differences. Its real specialty is Acceleration, it reaches its Top Speed faster than any other Vehicle in the game, although the Toad Kart is only 4th. Despite this its speed is very slow, 55 mph, although it retains a good amount of Offroad Speed, one of the highest in the game. It's also the second-lightest in the game, so you've got to count on that Acceleration to get away fast. It handles very similar to the Toad Kart, it's not very bouncy and it loses an average amount of speed on its turns. In general it's pretty good but really with a low speed like that it's only good for Grand Prix, and with a weight like that it's going to get its ass kicked there.

Toadette shares the same Special Item as Toad, the Golden Mushroom, which gives you an infinite amount of Mushroom Boosts for a limited time. This seems awesome but really it can do more harm than good. It will only show up if you're near the back of the crowd, and if you get it on a course with plenty of turns or dangerous edges, it's basically useless as it makes the Kart nearly uncontrollable. On the simpler courses with lots of Offroad and no edges though, it can be handy...except for the fact that you shouldn't be in Last Place on these courses. She's really a better Character for beginners...except that she's a Secret Unlockable Character. Basically Toadette has no purpose in this game. Being a Secret Character she also appears as a Secret Staff Ghost on no tracks.

Wii:

Now here is where Toadette starts to really shine. Wii didn't base its stats on Individuals or on Karts. Instead all Eight Racers in each of the Three Size Classes has access to Six Bikes and Six Karts, all with varying stats. In addition each Racer adds certain Bonuses to each Stat, making for a dizzying number of possible combinations. Of course if you're Toadette, you're choosing the Magikruiser. Toadette gets a +6 Offroad Bonus, tied only with Dry Bowser as the best in the game, as well as a smaller Speed Bonus. When this combines with the Magikruiser, which already has the best Offroad of any Vehicle, you've got an unbeatable combination for taking the path less traveled. Take a look:

Power-hungry whore...

It's the only glaringly obvious choice in the game, so you had better go with it. She can make Moo Moo Meadows, Shy Guy Beach or Dry Dry Ruins the easiest courses you'll encounter. She only has one Staff Ghost though, and it's Mushroom Gorge, obviously a reference to her head. The Normal uses the Quacker in 02:16.110 and the Expert uses the Mini Beast in 02:01.011. Since she doesn't really have stats that support either of these Vehicles that well, it shouldn't be too difficult to beat either of these.

Waluigi

History:

Waluigi is one of the more vile humans in the Mushroom Kingdom. He abhors adventuring and so for many years while other graduates of the Mushroom Plumbing College like Wario and the Mario Bros. were out in the wilds unclogging the many Giant Warp Pipes throughout the land, Waluigi engaged many other pursuits. He founded a Motor Oil Company as well as an independent construction firm. Throughout the 90s he dabbled in Nazism until he met Princess Daisy, who he became obsessed with. His unrequited love of the Princess has both salvaged Waluigi's soul and separated him from his partner, Wario, who is obsessed with his own greed. It has also fueled much of his rage towards his nemesis and current Daisy beau Luigi. Since then he has still avoided adventures, but excelled in many Mushroom Sports Competitions 

I've looked into his eyes...he's pure evil.

Waluigi is much more rational than his only real friend in the Mushroom Kingdom, Wario. He was always fiercely independent and isn't motivated by greed or jealousy. Instead he gets his drive from lust, ambition and a distinct pleasure from causing harm in others. He's one to laugh at misery and exploit it using his own cunning mind. In addition to his Motor Oil Company he attemped and failed at the Waluigi Grand Prix, although the remnants remain on many courses throughout the Kingdom. Finally he has pioneered Waluigi Pinball, which began as a small string of Arcades and has now blossomed into enormous, dangerous Amusement Parks.

Double Dash:

Waluigi first appeared as a playable racer in Double Dash where he pairs with Wario. Double Dash placed emphasis on different Karts more than Characters, the Drivers only determined what Weight Class they could use and what Special Items became available. Individual Karts determined Racing Stats, and each Character has his or her own signature Vehicle.

Waluigi drives the Waluigi Racer, which he cannot use with his default partner, Wario because while Waluigi is a Middleweight, Wario is Heavy. The Waluigi Racer is a Kart of some extremes in some cases. It's on the faster end of Middle Karts, only slower than Luigi's Green Fire and also has the best Offroad Speed by far of any Middle Kart, in fact, it has the best in the game at 37 mph. Its turn speed isn't great among Middle Karts but pretty decent overall and it's smack int he middle of Acceleration (13th) and Weight (9th). All in all this seems great so far, but it also has the worst shocks in the game, making it the single bounciest Kart and most likely to lose speed on big hills. Therefore it's a great choice for maybe something generally flat but with lots of Offroad portions like Sherbert Land, Yoshi Circuit or Dino Dino Jungle.

The Wario/Waluigi partnership is the only Heavy/Middle partnership in the game, otherwise their Special Items are identical. Waluigi uses the Bob-omb, which is a better defensive than offensive weapon. When thrown behind it can be devastating for those on your tail, although be sure to be careful of it going off right behind you from a Red Shell or what not.The only problem is that it won't stay on the Track for long, exploding pretty soon after you drop it, so if you're very far ahead it's basically useless. When thrown ahead it is awful dangerous. There is a slim chance that you won't be involved in the explosion but it's difficult.

There are Secret Staff Ghosts to unlock in Time Trials here. Waluigi's personal course is Waluigi Stadium where he partners with Wario in the Wario Car at 1:59:658. For the later Wario Colosseum he rides behind his partner in the same Ride, this time pulling in at 2:21:106.

DS:

Only Waluigi and Daisy appear only in Double Dash, DS and Wii. Waluigi is still a Medium Weight Driver here, although by adding 2 to the weight of each Vehicle he is a bit heavier than Mario or Luigi. DS gave each Character three distinct Karts, each with specialized stats. Eventually every Character can use any Kart, with the only morphing stat being Weight. Generally Waluigi is one of the heavier Middleweights. Of the Three Karts initially available, there is basically a Standard, one with poorer stats but a better Item Rating and one with better stats but a poorer Item Rating. Here are Waluigi's Vehicles:

Waluigi generally has very good vehicles. The Zipper is clearly the precursor to the Bikes in Wii. None of his Rides have subpar stats. at worst his handling and drift are average with above average acceleration and pretty good speed. Waluigi also has a pair of Staff Ghosts in Time Trials. On his own Waluigi Pinball he goes 2:23:288 in the Gold Mantis. He also appears on the Retro Choco Island 2 from SMK. He uses the Zipper in 1:01:620. He's probably here as a reference to his Stadium Tracks as the Choco Islands are full of dirt.

Wii:

It's only a matter of time really.

In Wii Waluigi makes the upgrade to a Large Size Racer. Wii took its three different Size Classes and gave each Six Bikes and Six Karts to choose from, each with varying stats. In addition to this, each Character adds his or her own Bonuses to each Stat, making an incredible array of possible combinations. Waluigi is again a decent choice. His +6 Acceleration and +5 Drift are both at the Top among Large Racers and he adds a +3 Offroad as well. All of this makes him a good choice for those seeking Offroad Shortcuts or courses with tricky turns. Both is high acceleration and ability to use bigger vehicles also make him a nice choice for beginners. Here are Waluigi's Specific Stats, the maximum in any Category is 80:

Waluigi is most associated with the Offroader, it having comparable stats to the Wario Bike. It's also the Kart that best takes advantage of Waluigi's Stat Bonuses, likewise with the Wario Bike. These two Vehicles don't act much like typical Heavy Rides and since Waluigi doesn't really have typical Heavy Bonuses, he makes them work. It's also interesting that the default colour scheme on many of the Heavy Vehicles is Waluig's blue and gold, such as the Phantom and the Spear.

Waluigi only has one Staff Ghosts in this game. He drives on the Retro Waluigi Stadium with the Standard Bike L in 02:32.882. The Expert version, once unlocked, uses the very heavy Piranha Prowler in 02:12.367.

Bowser Jr.

History:

Bowser has sired children all over the Koopa Kingdom, very rarely with the same mother. He adores all his children however, and collectively the first seven, all born in the early-to-mid 80s are collectively known as the Koopalings. All of these youngsters, however, were generally spoiled, retarded, eccentric, lazy or generally just not how Bowser pictured his heir. Soon after the first Grand Prix though, Bowser sired an eighth child. Not seeking to see this one grow up spoiled and lazy in the castle, Bowser made him live on the Northern Fringes of Dark Land under the watch of the Silent Shy Guy Army and the ever-presence of Kamek, Bowser's most loyal Magician and Major Domo. Bowser Jr. grew to be ruthless and almost as adept at magic as his old man. When the time came on this Tenth Birthday, they struck against Mario together, with Bowser Jr. leading the charge. They failed but afterwards seeing his son coming in to his own, Bowser invited him into the Castle, eventually giving him the entire East Wing, or what remained of the Course from the 1997 Grand Prix.

Since then Bowser Jr. has always been at his father's side, although his influence has been largely laughable. He doesn't own any tracks wholly by himself, nor does he have much capital or political power to throw around. As long as Bowser lives, he will always exist in his shadow, but due to his Father's negligence for the first Decade of his life Bowser Jr. is always seeking to prove himself, creating one of Bowser's Most Loyal Servants. In his own twisted way Bowser created one of the more dangerous Weapons in his Army in his own son.

Double Dash:

After Bowser Jr. first appeared in Super Mario Sunshine he showed up here in Double Dash as a default partner for Bowser. It's interesting that although Bowser Jr. is certainly just a miniature version of Bowser, unlike Baby Mario or Baby Luigi he is a distinct Character, not just a baby version (although that exists as well). In fact, Bowser Jr. has much more in common than Baby Mario does with Mario. He is basically the Lightweight version of Bowser (as Diddy is to Donkey Kong). The major character distinction in Double Dash are only weight classes and Special Items. Differences in racing comes mostly from Karts, each character having his or her own Signature Ride.

Bowser Jr. drives the Bullet Blaster, which in general is awful. It acts very much like a Heavy Kart although it is in fact the Lightest Kart in the game, meaning it's going to get trashed. It has one of the highest Top Speeds at 58 mph, and as the 12th fastest Accelerating Kart it actually is the fastest to reach this speed, although only the Barrel Train accelerates slower among Light Karts. Despite this it has the worst Offroad, turn speed and shocks of any Light Kart, and is one of the worst overall in all these areas. I've never found a lot of use for this, but its decent Acceleration and excellent Speed should count for something even though it's severely lacking in every other area.

Bowser Jr. is one of three pairs to have the same item but exist in a different Weight Class (the others being Diddy and Donkey as well as Wario and Waluigi), which can be useful. His Item is the Bowser Shell, which shoots out just as large as his Father's. It's a dangerous Item to use. It's best on straightaways where it will decimate anyone ahead, but against a wall or on a curve there's a supremely good chance it will bounce back and hit you. It's also very effective when shot backwards, meaning it's a bit better to get while near the lead. It is avoidable though if misplaced, something like the Koopas' Triple Shells can be a bit more efficient.

Bowser Jr. is also the only character in the game not to have a personal track where he takes the lead during the Secret Staff Ghosts in Time Trials. He does ride behind Bowser on Bowser Castle though. Using the Koopa King they whip up a time of 2:44:690.

Wii:

In Wii, each Driver was separated into three different Size Classes and within those classes had access to Six Bikes and Six Karts, each with its own set of specific Stats. In addition, each Character added his or her own Bonuses to each Stat, creating a wide array of different possible Racing Styles. Bowser Jr., along with Diddy Kong, moved from a Lightweight to a Middle Class driver. He also has one of the poorest sets of Bonuses in the game, making him pretty useless. He gets +3 Mini Turbo that is met or beaten by Daisy, Diddy and Birdo in his Size Class as well as a +3 Offroad that is met or beaten by Birdo and Yoshi. Since Birdo gets superior Bonuses in the same categories as well as a +3 Weight Bonus she's basically a better version of Bowser Jr., meaning there is no reason to use him ever. Here are Bowser Jr.'s Specific Stats:

Bowser Jr. doesn't have any Karts explicitly associated with him. The closest may be the Super Blooper which changes to a different colour only when he rides it, or the Zip Zip, which has Stats similar to the Phantom, which is associated with Dry Bowser (I know, that might be stretching it, folks). Both of these Vehicles actually do well with his meager Bonuses. Other than that, he can succeed in the Dolphin Dasher, but in general he should just be avoided.

Bowser Jr. only appears as a Staff Ghost on one track in this game, but it's the Final Track, so that's something significant. He rides the Standard Kart M on the Retro N64 Bowser's Castle in 03:19.323. The Expert switches to the Sneakster and goes 02:55.933. Bowser Jr.'s logo also appears on Moonview Highway for some reason, although he doesn't really seem to have any connection with that track.

Diddy Kong

History:

Diddy is the nephew of Donkey Kong, though they aren't that different in age. Diddy's parents, Kong's brother and his wife, were killed by the Kremling Hordes shortly after Diddy was born. Therefore Diddy was raised mostly by Cranky and Wrinkly Kong along with Donkey, who matured a bit earlier. Diddy is still very much a young buck though and doesn't really own any tracks himself besides the Dino Dino Jungle, which due to its remote and dangerous location has never been very popular. He is still really a sidekick of Donkey Kong and hasn't really won that independence yet.

Double Dash:

Diddy appeared here as the default partner of Kong. Double Dash didn't place that much emphasis on Driver distinctions, more on Kart Differences. Characters only determined what Special Items they could use and ultimately what size Kart they could drive. Diddy is interesting because he's a Lightweight here while Kong is a Heavyweight, meaning that when partnered together they needed a Heavy Kart. In order for Diddy to drive his own Kart he needs to be paired with another Lightweight.

Diddy drives the Barrel Train, which stands out among Light Karts. It basically acts like a Heavy Kart, which is cool if you are in to that sort of thing. Unlike the Boo Pipes, though, which have the benefits of acting like a Light Kart while also being able to push people around, there is no real upside besides a greater ability to dodge hazards. In fact, the Barrel Train is the narrowest Vehicle in the game, which can be useful. It's also the heaviest Light Kart (12th Overall). Naturally it has the worst Acceleration of any Light Kart along with the Second-Highest Top Speed and a decent Offroad. It does have some of the best shocks and average turn speed. All in all it's okay if you're looking for a Light Kart with Speed, though it controls so stiffly you can't enjoy it that much.

Each Character in Double Dash has a personal Special Item. Diddy's is the same as Kong's - the Giant Banana. It's one of the better Items in the game for someone who likes to be in first, it creates a huge hazard for Racers coming from behind. Of course, if you're always the one in last place it's not going to help that much. Diddy is basically the Light Version of Donkey Kong, meaning he's great to be paired up with some other little guy with the Toad Kart, get in First Place early and dominate.

He is also the Secret Staff Ghost in two tracks. He leads on Dino Dino Jungle with DK in back in the Big Guy's DK Jumbo with a time of 2:00:908. For DK Mountain he switches with his Uncle in the same Kart with a time of 2:12:639.

Wii:

After missing DS Diddy returned in Wii. In this game each Character in three separate Size Classes each can drive up to Six Karts and Six Bikes. Naturally there are plenty of combinations. Diddy moved from a Lightweight to a Middleweight, although he's really not that much bigger physically. Each character also has their own Stat Bonuses to add to each Vehicle. Diddy gets a small Acceleration and Drift Bonus as well as a Mini Turbo Bonus tied with Birdo as the best among Middleweights. Therefore he's really pretty good for technical drivers on tricky courses that like to drift and boost a lot. Here are the Diddy-Specific stats:

The Classic Dragster best takes advantage of his bonuses, although he's also great in the Mach Bike. He's most associated with the Sugarscoot, which he can also be decent with. He only appears as a Staff Ghost in the Maple Treeway. It's actually a similar course to DK Mountain from Double Dash with the huge Barrel Cannon and it also takes place entirely on a system of trees. Diddy's Monkey Nature is perfectly suited for the association. The Normal Ghost pulls a 02:58.633 in the Classic Dragster, the Expert does 02:37.812 in the Sneakster.

Koopa Paratroopa

History:

After Wario supplanted him in the mid-90s the loyal Koopa Troopa Bowser had chosen to race with him in the Grand Prix was looking for any chance to get back into the Races. When the Partner Rules of the 2003 Grand Prix were settled Koopa managed to wrangle another one of Bowser's forces, Koopa Paratroopa to ride with him. Paratroopa had seen heavy aerial combat in the many Wars against the Mushroom Kingdom, and although he would have rather been fighting Mario he agreed to race instead. Although Koopa has since found some stability, appearing in later races, Paratroopa disappeared after his only appearance. Koopa suspects that he used too many of his Red Shells on Lord Bowser, possibly sealing his fate after hours.

Double Dash:

Paratroopa only appears in Double Dash, as the default partner of Koopa Troopa, tho Koopa came back for Wii. I imagine in DS and Wii his role as a minor enemy has been taken by the more aesthetically interesting Dry Bones. Anyway, Individual Characters didn't matter in Double Dash as much as their Karts did. Characters determined Special Items and Kart Selection but not Stats. Each Character, though, has his or her own Vehicle. Paratroopa rode in the Para Wing.

The Para Wing is decent among Light Karts, but not the best. Its Acceleration is the 3rd Best in the game and its weight is 16th (both 3rd among Light Karts). It's relationship to the Koopa Dasher is similar to the Goo Goo Buggy's relationship to the Rattle Buggy. It has better turn speed but slower Top Speed and Acceleration as well as average shocks for those bouncy courses. It also somewhat inexplicably has one of the worst Offroad Speeds for a Light Kart, beaten only by the Bullet Blaster.

Paratroopa shares Koopa's Item with no changes at all, making that pair basically identical. The Triple Shell is one of the better Items in the game, although they no longer circle the Kart providing protection from aberrant objects. It's still a very good defensive and offensive item. Red Shells are especially useful in that Second or Third Place position to directly take down those ahead. Since you can't hold Items behind you it's a bit more difficult to deflect incoming objects but not impossible. They're pretty useful for climbing up a Grand Prix ladder.

There are Secret Staff Ghosts for each Track in Double Dash. Since no Secret Characters are used as Ghosts, the Koopas inherited the Mushroom Tracks from the Toads. Paratroopa leads on Mushroom City with Koopa in tow using the Koopa Dasher in 1:50:663. He also appears on Mushroom Bridge this time behind Koopa and goes a time of 1:31:458/