Thwomp Ruins

History:

An ancient civilization thrived millennia ago on DK Island, leaving scores of ruins across the country. Even though Thwomps aren't native to the Island, they were introduced as travel between the realms increased as Donkey, Diddy, and even Kremlings like Kritter and K. Rool found themselves more often hanging out in the Mushroom Kingdom. The Thwomps found a natural home in the Monkey Mines and took over the ruins deep within the jungle. Obviously off put by this foreign influence, Kong sought to fund a Race Course through the ruins, to both expel the Thwomps, and to bring attention away from his Jungle Home.

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It is unclear whether or not the ruins were caused by the Thwomp presence, the ruins of the actual Thwomp civilization, or if they simply intruded upon the wreckage after whatever incident doomed the people living there. Considering the course's similarity to Millstone Mayhem, and obscure Donkey Kong Country level, I suggest the latter. I'd say this is also why Kong is the Ghost here, although it being a pretty jungly track also supports this idea.

The layout is simple enough, although the addition of deadly Thwomps, millstone wheels, and a wide section with multiple paths complicates things. There are nice anti-gravity sections along the walls to avoid a lot of this junk, as well as underwater portions that could be avoided if your Kart / Wheel combination can't handle it. It's therefore a course well-suited to many different playing styles, and with a wide track and lots of off-road portions to boost over and other secrets to find, there's a lot to open up here.

The Ghost, as mentioned, is Kong in the Varmint, using Monster Wheels and the Super Glider in 2:11.157 . There's a lot of speed there as long as he stays on the ground, but everything else almost counters each other, with handling suffering a bit while the traction stays up. Speed, speed, speed here, and with a lot more anti-gravity sections than water sections, wheels that favor that like the Slim, Slick, or Metal families will be great. Then again, if you just stay on the road, that's probably going to be a faster path.

Sweet Sweet Canyon

History:

While Peach had dealt with large baked structures before in Battle Courses, she was always interested in developing a full-length race course. She finally found her destiny in the depths of the Sweet Sweet Galaxy, where, with Rosalina and Bowser pioneering mainstream intergalactic travel, became practical as a popular race course. By 2014, though, Peach was stretched a little too thin, but luckily she was able to be at too places at once, and so handed over control of the course to her time-displaced counterpart, Baby Peach.

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Sweet Sweet Canyon exists as the third course int he Mushroom Cup, and it's a fun track. It at once seems like an extension of Battle Stages like Cookie Land and Tart Top as well as a throwback to some of the crazier tracks from Super Circuit, like Cheese Land and Ribbon Road. These tracks were made of ridiculous materials that seems reflected in the candy-coated road here that's given a big, extensive, loopy treatment.

This course has a bit of everything. A short water section, an anti-gravity section that's a bit more intense than anything seen up to this point, and a significant air section. It's a basic figure-8 that's made a little more complicated by the presence of that big air section and the split anti-gravity sections.

The staff ghost is Baby Peach, likely because of Peach's constant association with sweet candy. She does 2:12.107 in the Teddy Buggy, Wood Wheels, and Peach Parasol, making it the longest of the Mushroom Cup tracks. It's the only ghost that uses the Teddy. Wood is rough in water, but decent in air, and has nice mini-turbo and traction ratings to get through this course. Still, the Teddy doesn't add anything beyond the Standard Kart and the Peach Parasol cuts some air speed. A variant of the Slim or Slick Wheels that favors the longer anti-gravity sections would work well.

Mario Kart Stadium

History:

After anti-gravity technology was developed, the core Grand Prix Committee sought to create some kind of flagship course to debut this, their crowning achievement. It was Mario that spearheaded the Mario Kart Stadium project, and despite protests from his brother, Luigi, who had often been granted the opening track, he created this course. Located in the heart of the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario placed himself as the primary beneficiary of Mario Kart Stadium promotions and profits, although since the Grand Prix's name is on the course, there is some heavy revenue sharing involved with its operation.

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Mario Kart Stadium is a tremendous break in tradition for many reasons. Of the previous seven opening tracks in the Mushroom Cup, three had been named for Luigi, and DS's Figure-8 Circuit was very aesthetically similar. Even though Mario Kart Stadium is by definition a Circuit track, it's the only opener not to be called so, besides 64's Luigi Raceway. It's also the only opening track to take place at night.

As far as the layout goes, it's fairly basic, even though it introduces players to the antri-gravity element in 8 with a huge vertical section leading to an air jump near the finale of the race. Much of the other parts of the race are reminiscent of Wii's Luigi Circuit, from the sandy patches near the curves to the large stadium seating sections full of cheering crowds.

The Ghost here is Mario in the Sports Coupe with Standard Wheels and Super Glider in 1:59.781. It's a fast car, but if you can match that with some faster tires like the Slick Wheels you can surpass him.

Water Park

History:

Baby Luigi's ownership of several Frosty Tracks over the years by 2014 had been considered an abject failure. His older counterpart, Luigi saw this with some concern, so he helped to arrange an expansion near Baby Park, which had success with Baby Mario's leadership, creating the Water Park. Costs were kept low by subsidizing rides to other prominent members of the Mushroom Kingdom, such as the Wario-sponsored Wario Wheel, which once served as the flagship attraction. Under Baby Luigi's management, though, the Park's infrastructure was never developed enough to curb the encroaching sea wall, and the Park flooded permanently, rendering most of the rides useless. Still, Luigi saw an opportunity to create a new race course out of it, and with Baby Luigi's supervision, the team actually created a decent track.

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This course isn't quite as similar to Baby Park as it may seem, even though they are thematically similar and occur at similar parts of the Mushroom Cup. The starting point feels a lot like Coconut Mall, but similarities with that track end after those first step. Most importantly, this track contains extensive underwater sections, so consideration ought to be given to Karts and Wheels that are adept at submarine travel. The turns aren't too crazy, so give preference to speed over handling. There are also mild anti-gravity and air sections, nothing to worry about in the Mushroom Cup.

The Staff Ghost here is Baby Luigi in Mr. Scooty using Roller Wheels and the Super Glider in 2:02.954. It's the only Ghost that uses Mr. Scooty as well as the Roller Wheels. It'll sacrifice a lot of speed for excellent acceleration and handling, especially underwater. I'd like something like the Pipe Frame and Button Wheels to preserve the most under water speed as possible while still getting some decent handling. Wario, Bowser, and Morton are going to have the fastest speed and any of them will get across the finish first on this one.

Shy Guy Bazaar

History:

By 2011 the popularity of the Grand Prix had spread to nearly every corner of the Mushroom World. The Shy Guys, long spectators of the Races entered a Track they created in one of their towns on the Reaches of Dinosaurland, the Shy Guy Bazaar. The extensiveness of the track attests to the strong capital of the Shy Guy race and their ability to pool and share resources.

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Shy Guy Bazaar closes the Mushroom Cup as a Course with Desert elements reminiscent of Kalimari Desert from 64 or Double Dash's Dry Dry Desert, although it is significantly different from typical Desert Tracks. It is really a free-flowing track with many alternate paths, including wide portions with some singular obstacles, as in the image below. There is also some wide offroad sections along with some unforgiving gaps, and an air boost.

The Ghost here is Shy Guy, who does 02:31.167 using the Standard Kart, Roller Wheels, and Super Glider, which is a fairly basic combination, even though those wheels give him the handling required to dodge around this track. Still, there are other Karts such as the Cloud 9, Koopa Clown, or Royal Ribbon that can boost handling even further, and for all that his speed is terrible. The Expert on the same track uses the Pipe Frame, Monster Wheels, and Parafoil in 02:14.714, none of which really enhances any bonuses and a little more concise planning towards a racer's strength will give you the edge.

Toad Circuit

History:

After years of dominating the intro to the Grand Prix, Luigi was unable to maintain the distinction for the 2011 installment. He lost the bidding of a new Circuit Track to Toad, whose Factory allowed him the resources to construct a course that wasn't preexisting, unlike some of his other Highway Tracks. Luigi was busy enough renovating some of his other courses for the Retro Prix to really be bothered anyway.

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The Toad Circuit kicks off the Mushroom Cup in Mario Kart 7, and tho Luigi-themed courses have led off the games three times, this is the first time that a Toad-themed course has led off. There are aspects of some of these courses, such as the sand patches that players can boost across to hit a jump, exactly like the Wii Luigi Circuit. There are also giant Toad Balloons, perhaps a callback both to the Balloon in 64's Luigi Raceway and the Giant Luigi Statue in Wii. The course is more of a Figure-8 than a loop, obviously more similar to the Figure-8 Circuit that led off DS than other intros. It is also the first course with some Aerial components, tho it's not essential to the course.

The track is very wide and even with a good amount of turns, none are particularly sharp and there's a fair amount of straightaways as well. The Normal Staff Ghost is Toad, who goes 01:35.135 in the Standard Kart with Standard Wheels and the Super Glider. This is about as basic as you're going to get - feel free to switch it up to fit whatever style of play you like. The Expert is the same except uses Monster Wheels in 01:26.632, which does help some of Toad's weak spots in land speed and weight, but weight isn't important in Time Trials and higher speeds can be achieved here fairly easily.

Toad's Factory

History:

It was rare that Toad sought employment or ventures outside of his role in the Royal Court. He was, however, able to find success after years of Grand Prix, making Items for use both in races and battle. He constructed a huge factory in the Mushroom Kingdom dedicated to this production. Eventually he opened it up to racing as well.

Wii:

Toad's Factory is actually less complicated than it looks. In essence it's a simple loop, although there are plenty of difficult parts. As a closer for the Mushroom Cup it has a good balance between challenge and simplicity. The trickiest parts involve moving pathways that shift and can either greatly help or impede speed. It's essential during the final stretch to time the race correctly to boost over the oil, otherwise you're in for a very slow finish at a critical moment. Immediately prior to this is a dangerous jump that gives you a ton of speed going into a sharp turn. No straightaway is really straightfoward then, there is plenty of weaving to be done in between boxes, crushers, or giant bulldozers.

Toad's only Staff Ghost appears on this track. He goes a 02:22.480 with the Bubble Bike while the Expert goes 02:05.593 in the Blue Falcon. Considering how deceptive this course is and the need for a fast reaction time along with a small profile I would suggest a Medium-Sized Racer using either the Mach Bike or Dolphin Dasher. Daisy with both her speed and handling makes a fine choice.

Mountain Tracks

History:

In the vast Northwest of the Mushroom Kingdom lay the Tall Tall Mountains, a place rarely traveled by the Mushroom Folk. It is full of dangerous enemies, steep cliffs, and enormous bouncy mushrooms that grow thousands of feet tall. Naturally as the stakes of the Grand Prix increased and more racers vied for their own signature tracks, newcomers were forced to stretch out into this harsh dominion.

Toadette, the power-hungry manipulator that she is, had long hidden in these mountains. It was no surprise then that she owned vast amounts of land to construct the Mushroom Gorge track, which she ran with an evil fungi fist. Lower in the Valley, Daisy established the Daisy Hills track with her own Mitt Romney-like personal wealth. Finally, higher in the mountains Wiggler, piecing together a rudimentary system of nerve impulses he used for a mind, converted his personal home into the Rock Rock Mountain. Along the same chain lay the Shy Guy Metal Mines, which these mysterious people had turned into a profitable business. With anti-gravity technology developed in 2014, the Shy Guys were able to convert this mine into another course, traveling up a previously inaccessible water fall

Wii:

Mushroom Gorge is a fairly simple loop. There are plenty of turns though none of them are that sharp. The greatest hazard here is the boost ramps and Bouncy Mushrooms, which without proper timing can disrupt even experienced drivers. The road also forks into two different paths on two different occasions, although in both cases sticking to the right is a faster option.

The staff ghost is Toadette with a time of 02:16.110 in the Quacker, while her expert goes 02:01.011 in the Mini-Beast. Neither of these vehicles takes advantage of Toadette's greatest strength, her offroad ability, so using just about anyone with good speed and moderate handling like Daisy or Rosalina can beat the pink toadie without a huge issue.

This track returns in 7, where the Ghost this time is Toad. The normal goes a 02:02.292 using the Cloud 9, Mushroom Wheels, and Parafoil, meaning that he'll have a decent mini-turbo and handling, although most of his other stats end up pretty average, especially his speed and acceleration, which is where you can beat him easily on this simple track. The Expert, though, pulls a 01:50.526 using the Pipe Frame, Monster Wheels, and Super Glider. This means Toad will have great offroad (useless here) and above average speed, but terrible handling. Counter that with some Roller or Wood wheels on something fast and you should succeed.

7:

There are two courses in 7 that seem to carry on this Mountain Theme that many Mario Kart Tracks have exhibited, mostly in DK Tracks. Daisy Hills is very reminiscent of Mushroom Gorge, from its steep inclines, wooden dock paths and large gaps.It's also in the Mushroom Cup again and provides the game's first big jump and introduction to the aerial driving that helps to define this game. Other than that, the course is wide, probably with more curves and boosts than a typical Mushroom Cup Track, but nothing intensely difficult.

The Staff Ghost here is Daisy on her eponymous course. She goes a 02:06.351 using the Royal Ribbon, Roller Wheels, and Peach Parasol, which gives her substantial boosts in just about everything except for both land and air speed. Those two crucial components are what can be used to beat her, because there isn't a great need for anything else on this course. The expert uses the same ride with the Sponge Wheels and Super Glider, which means she no longer has a disadvantage in the air and her mini-turbo becomes very good. Sticking with a strong land speed and moderate handling should be fine.

There is also Rock Rock Mountain in 7, which seems to lift directly some parts from Super Mario 64's Tall Tall Mountain. It is actually a relatively simple track with many straightaways, although some tough curves near the start. Rock Rock Mountain is actually the longest original track in the game, which is surprising for a track that closes the Flower Cup. It's also one of the most reliant on air speed. There are multiple big jumps, one of which is deadly - it is greatly beneficial if you survive, but getting hit will lead you to tumble to the path below while others whiz by. There is also a tough vertical track with boosts and rocks that is difficult to avoid, but mostly a straightaway.

The staff ghost is Wiggler at a 02:35.105 using the Standard with Red Monster Wheels and the Super Glider. It's a tough match but the speed can be beat easily by using something like the B Dasher or Bumble V with Wood Wheels and the same Glider. The expert isn't all that better, but he goes a 02:19.149 using the same combination but with the Flower Glider, which increases his air handling at the expense of speed. Stick with a Glider that doesn't slow down that big jump and you'll be fine.

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Shy Guy Falls closes out the Flower Cup and contains one of the more relentless vertical sections in the game. There are many tight turns where errors can lead to perilous cliff edges and of course, the eponymous water fall. Going up the falls is difficult if you miss the boost pads, but going down offers a speed increase like the river in Koopa Cape. After that there is an average-sized air section.

The Staff Ghost here is Shy Guy, of course, who goes 2:19.528 using the Flame Rider, Retro Off-Road Wheels, and the Super Glider. The Flame Rider is an excellent choice, but something with more anti-gravity handling such as the Sport Bike may be a good option. Shy Guy may be here because of his strong previous association with desert tracks, and Shy Guy Falls, despite its huge waterfall, seems like it's in some craggy desert canyon.

Baby Park

History:

Once it became apparent that Baby Mario and Baby Luigi were trapped in the current time stream they found that they needed a place to live and figure things out. Yoshi, fondly remembering the two from his own youth, granted them a plot of land on Yoshi's Island. Being babies, they soon transformed the meager parcel into an Amusement park, dubbing it Baby Park. The Park features an extremely short track elevated over some of the other attractions that has become a popular spot both for Racing and Spectating.

Double Dash:

Baby Park is the third course in the Mushroom Cup and at first seems to be very welcoming and simple. It's the most basic and shortest of all Courses anywhere, the typical good lap should usually take around 11 seconds, 10 if you get a few Mushrooms. For this reason it's the only track ever to feature Seven Laps instead of the typical three. Its distraction-free nature quickly fades away in Grand Prix though once the Sixteen Drives start throwing Items all over the place. Its confined space is a lot more disheartening when there's three Giant Bowser Shells and fifteen Bananas in your path. It's also short enough that it's easy to fall behind if you screw up. The Secret Staff Ghost here is Baby Mario, with Baby Luigi riding shotgun in the Goo Goo Buggy at 1:11:108.

The Track returned in DS, although it only has five laps this time around. Since there are no babies in DS the Staff Ghost is the next best thing, Toad in the Mushmellow at 0:50:920.

Jungle Tracks

History:

There are many Jungles throughout the Mushroom Kingdom, many of which have seen the intrusion of Race Tracks, seemingly inescapable in any location. Riverside Park was developed by Wario during his many travels to the far reaches of the Kingdom. It exists through the Emerald Passage far beyond the Dry Dry Desert. Wario also sought to develop the Lakeside Park park track on DK Island, next to the Monkey Mountains. Eventually as tensions rose between him and Kong this track was shut down and no one has raced there in a decade.

Yoshi's Island is the location of Yoshi Falls and Dino Dino Jungle, both in the midst of lush water resources. Yoshi however, after overextending himself in numerous Desert Tracks was forced to sell the Dino Dino Jungle rights to Kong, who, with no interest in managing the course, gave it to his buddy Diddy.

Super Circuit:

There are two similar Jungle Tracks in Super Circuit that have never appeared in any other game. Riverside Park is as it sounds - a winding twisting track around and across a wide river. It is also possible to use some nasty shortcuts here. There are a few straightaways but nothing that dominates the course, and much more often there's tight turns with a lot of grassy off-road spots. Someone Lightweight is going to be the key here that can maintain speed while dealing with all that junk. For only being the third track in the Mushroom Cup it's a decently complex track, with jumps and twists and hazards.

Lakeside Park is the same kind of deal. It's a winding track around a bit wider water hazard, although it does have the distinction of transitioning from daylight to darkness after the huge volcano erupts. There is somehow both more of a straightaway and more sharp turns, making a clear-cut choice for who should race this more difficult. Since Toad and Peach by far the better Drivers in this game, they're always a safe choice. This course leads off the Special Cup, which is actually similar to D.K.'s Jungle Parkway leading off that Cup in MK64. It also features a big jump and lots of water danger, making it somewhat of a spiritual successor.

Double Dash:

Again in the Special Cup, Double Dash featured Dino Dino Jungle, which can be a very difficult course. It's a relatively simple Figure-8 but features an unstoppable gigantic Dinosaur over part of the course and then a dastardly wooden bridge without guardrails. There's also evil geysers that erupt from the ground but generally you can see them coming. There are a good amount of hills near the finish line that will decimate Kart without good shocks like the Waluigi Racer, probably at the time you need it most. This map actually does a nice job dividing the track into four quarter-sections: Jungle, Bridge, Cave and Mountain.

Double Dash had Secret Staff Ghosts for each track in Time Trials. The Ghost here is Diddy Kong taking the lead with his partner, Donkey Kong. They ride in the DK Jumbo because of Donkey's heavyweight status. Still, they put in a time of 2:00:908. I suppose they needed to give the Jungle Course to the Monkey since Donkey has DK Mountain.

This course returns in Mario Kart 7 where it is generally the same. There are some more Air boost panels and a few other small differences but other than that it hasn't changed a huge amount. The Staff Ghost here is Yoshi in a befitting way. The Normal Ghost goes 02:29.837 in the Egg 1 using Roller Wheels and the Parafoil. The Expert uses the Egg 1 again in Monster Wheels and Swoop Glider. He'll have decent speed and very good handling. The moderate amount of air travel doesn't make air speed a necessity, stick to something with good acceleration around those turns, such as sticking the Wood Wheels on the Soda Jet.

DS:

Yoshi Falls is one of the shortest courses in any Mario Kart game and is really a very simple loop. Therefore we see it in the Mushroom Cup, in fact, it's the Second Course of the game. The key here is getting the inside track, because the actual course is very wide. What makes this difficult is the occasional waterfall along the Inside Track that can be very hazardous for sloppy drivers. The first and third falls are the only ones that inexperienced drivers should attempt to cross, the middle is much steeper and more dangerous. Beyond that, plenty of gentle curves and nice straightaways, feel free to nab someone like Bowser who has some Speed.

DS also had Staff Ghosts. Here Yoshi clocks in at  0:57:677 driving the Egg 1. This course came back in Wii though with no major changes. That game had both Normal Ghosts and unlockable Expert Ghosts. The Ghost is Yoshi again, this time the Normal uses the Zip Zip in 01:16.461 and the Expert goes  01:09.175 in the Super Blooper. He uses the Super Blooper, really? It's the only Ghost use of that Kart in the game. It's easy now to switch to Funky, who tears through this thing.

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The Thwomp Ruins could be considered a Jungle Track but it was different enough that I considered it its own course. You can find more information about it here.

Royal Tracks

History:

Soon after the young Princess Peach was thrust into the Rule of the Mushroom Kingdom in 1983 after the death of her Father, the Kingdom fell into Financial Ruin. Since the Mushroom People are not naturally capitalistic they remained mostly ignorant however, and their simple farming and trading ways were hardly affected. Some of the larger Banks of Mushroom City and beyond were launched into Crisis though, and many foreclosed. It wasn't until the Racing Grand Prix that began in the early 90s did the economy get a shot in the arm. Not only did more people pay huge sums of cash to see the races, many different parties developed Tracks across the Kingdom, which led to massive Population Movements. It wasn't long then, until with the advice of Toad, her Consigliere, that Peach developed the Royal Raceway on what used to be her Personal Grounds. While later her suitor Mario would develop his own tracks on Private Royal land, Peach also founded the Peach Circuit immediately South of her Official Lands as well as her expansive Private Gardens, the Peach Gardens, which were full of tamed Chain Chomps.

In addition to all this, Daisy, Princess and Ruler of Sarasaland also recently developed a course on the Isle of Delfino, which has proved incredibly popular with both the native Piantas and residents of the Mushroom Kingdom on vacation. We've included it here as the only other Circuit Track sponsored by a Royal Princess.

64:

The Royal Raceway is mostly known for two things: 1) The Enormous Jump and 2) Access to Peach's Castle. This was an early direct link to a previous Mario Adventure Game, in this case, Super Mario 64, where the Castle is identical and that game's primary setting. It's fitting that the final Award Ceremony also takes place here, giving some Center to the Races in the Mushroom Kingdom. Peach's course is also the center for the Award Ceremony in Double Dash, at Peach Beach.

As the third course in the Star Cup, it's one of the more-advanced Circuit tracks, and it proves it. This course has tons of deceptively dangerous turns, taking any too wide on the slopes towards the lake results in instantaneous failure. If the Big Jump is misjudged it may also lead to a crash into the Mountains. Some grassy sections actually prove nice cut-through spots if you have a Mushroom or Star, but ultimately you need trustworthy handling here to succeed.

Super Circuit:

Super Circuit broke tradition by making Peach Circuit the First Course in the Mushroom Cup.Every game since has featured a Luigi Circuit or something very similar. That said, this isn't a whole lot like Royal Raceway. The Castle is close but inaccessible and there is a ton of grassy corners to cut. There isn't really a character who is poor here. It's very straightforward. This track came back in DS along with the first track from SMK, Mario Circuit 1 and the first track from Double Dash, Luigi Circuit to make up the Shell Cup. It was all a conspiracy to not have an all-Luigi Circuit Cup, for sure. The Ghost here is Peach driving the Royale with a time of 1:12:011.

DS:

Peach Gardens is a unique course with lots of possible turns and paths along with some of the nicest Chain Chomps to be found in a Mario Kart game. It's also in the Special Cup, which is extremely tame in DS. There are some hills that aren't too difficult and not a whole lot of danger outside of some moles, a water hazard that is very easy to avoid and the aforementioned Chomps, who don't chase you but rather stay on their own path. There are plenty of right-angle turns, but the path is actually so wide in these places that it's never that difficult. The same goes for weaving between the large Southern Hedge. Go for someone like Bowser with speed here with impunity. The Ghost is Peach in the Royale again with a time of 1:52:989.

This track also came back in Wii without a whole lot of difference. The Ghost here is Baby Peach this time, clearly loving playing in her Big-Ass Garden. The Normal does a 02:34.894 in the Magikruiser, the Expert pulls a 02:16.777 in the Mini Beast. Again, you can take speed here, Funky in the Spear is perfect.

Wii:

Like I said, I've lumped the Daisy Circuit in here because it's one of the only Circuit Tracks in Wii (actually every Original Cup except for the Special opens with a Circuit Track) and it's more similar to be lumped in here than any place else. It does have some unique elements though. Its seaside village aspects may make it more similar to Delfino Plaza and its Sunset Time recalls Waluigi Stadium. It's a Royal Road, though so it ends up here. It opens up the Star Cup here and is pretty straightforward besides some city twists and gentle curves. Actually the more I look at it the more I realise this is a hodge-podge track. The "8" midway through comes back in Wii's Rainbow Road, and the two sections of track right next to each other looks like an Early Luigi Circuit. Like the other recent Royal Tracks though, someone with tons of Speed can make it through here. It's pretty well suited to Daisy herself in the Mach Bike.

The Ghost is exactly that. Daisy goes a 01:56.822 in the Royal Racer, then the Expert does a 01:41.362 in the Mach Bike.

Desert Tracks

History:

There are many tracks in the vast Dry Dry Desert located in the Southeast of the Mushroom Kingdom, often similarly linked but owned by no single individual. Navigating the desert was extremely dangerous before the construction of an intricate railway system by Eduard Simpson in 1894. He named his train the K64 and it still runs to the Desert and Back and remains the major mode of transportation into the wastelands. Since the Mushroom Government eventually regulated the Rail Industry Toad was able to build the Kalimari Desert Track around an early loop by the K64. Over the years, though, it fell into Shy Guy hands as the influence of the K64 waned and the Shy Guys crept through the region. Also located in the Kalimari Desert is the Sunset Wilds, which is another public Track.

As more of the Dry Dry Desert was explored in the early 20th Century the Mushroom People discovered a vast lost civilisation. Naturally they were up for converting most of the beautiful ruins into Race Courses. It's just that popular. While maintaining its holdings in the Kalimari Desert, the Mushroom Government put vast stretches of the Dry Dry Desert up for Auction. Yoshi, using some winnings he had gathered from adventuring with Mario purchased a section of land that would eventually become the course known as Yoshi Desert. He also purchased a wide section around some quicksand that he would eventually give to Birdo as well as the rights for an intricate Temple System that would eventually become the Dry Dry Ruins track.

Deeper in the Desert is a track known as Desert Hills. It was first owned by Yoshi as part of the initial Desert Tracks Deal, but he was forced to sell it to Waluigi, possibly under infelicitous circumstances. As Waluigi was attempting to make it a signature track for the Waluigi Grand Prix, which never got off the ground, he upset the Angry Sun, who drove him out with a bombardment of Fire Snakes. The track fell into the temporary care of ROB before it became inhospitable to all by Dry Bones, who the Angry Sun had no real problem with.

Past the point where the K64 runs the Desert gets even more rugged. Beyond the Layer-Cake lay an enormous Dead Sea between the canyons, where Shy Guy Pirates and Dry Bones duke it out for supremacy. Morton Koopa Jr., being familiar with the desert environs sought to make his own personal track here after he was selected for the 2014 Grand Prix. It's one of the most inhospitable of regions, though, and when other tracks are full of ghosts or outer space, that's saying something.

64:

MK64 was the first to feature a Desert Track, but every game since then has followed suit, except for 7, where this course is merely re-made. The Kalimari Desert came at the end of the Mushroom Cup, a trend that only Double Dash continued. It's clearly based on the American Southwest rather than the Egyptian theme of some of the other tracks. It also doesn't have a whole lot that other Desert Tracks have repeated, although its train is distinctive enough to appear again in Paper Mario. It's pretty simple besides the occasional Train Crossing. Good characters are Toad or Peach, characters who can take advantage of some of the lean straightaways, although good Brakes are also important here.

This course returns in Mario Kart 7 where it leads off the Leaf Cup. MK64 courses lead off three of the four Retro Cups and this one has some significant changes. To utilize new Air Travel possibilities there are a few ramps where Drivers can fly over large sections of the track.  The Ghost here is Shy Guy, providing some kind of Desert Connection, possibly a reference to the Native American Shy Guys from Super Circuit. The Normal uses the Cact-X, Wood Wheels, and Swoop Glider in 02:01.932. The Expert goes 01:48.707 in the Bolt Buggy, Red Monster, and Ghastly Glider. There is no water here to worry about here, so sticking with just fast land Wheels and Gliders is key - something like Gold Wheels on the B Dasher with a Swoop Glider works great.

Super Circuit:

Sunset Wilds from the Lightning Cup is a really interesting track, there hasn't been another like it since. It is the only Mario Kart Track which features a noticeable time change, shifting from Sunset to Night by the third lap. It also features ancillary characters that interact with the Racers - Native American Shy Guys who pounce on a Driver if they disturb their Tee Pee. I guess I would do that too. Perhaps a commentary on the plight of the American Indian? I hope so. There are also inexplicable Dinosaur Tracks throughout the land, possibly leftover from some Giant Beast who once prowled those lands

Super Circuit also featured the first Egyptian Desert Course, and this one would have more influence over Future Desert Tracks than either Kalimari or Sunset Wilds. Yoshi Desert began the Association between Yoshi and Deserts as well as the Egyptian Motif. It also has Piranha Plants that will swallow wayward drivers, seen again in Double Dash's Dry Dry Desert, and a Giant Yoshi Sphinx, seen again in Wii's Dry Dry Ruins. It also has some Oases, later seen in DS' Desert Hills. It's interesting that it took this long for the template to really be set. It's also interesting that none of these tracks have ever been in a Retro Cup. Both these courses are very twisty and dangerous, I'd suggest racing with someone who has some kind of handling. This is the only Desert Track ever to be in the Star Cup.

Double Dash:

Double Dash returned the desert track as the Mushroom Cup Closer and this one is named after the Desert it's located in, Dry Dry Desert. There are plenty of Obelisks and Pokeys for the first time, which would reappear in every other Desert Track to come. There is also a terrible Sand Tornado which whips up Drivers, slowing them down immeasurably. Racers will avoid the Tornado only to find themselves on the edge of the Pit of Carkoon with a hungry Piranha Sarlacc in the middle. There are some very hill sections here on a long straightaway, meaning that if you're Kart isn't bouncing around it's a good time to catch up or get ahead. Try the Pipes or one of the Toad Karts for the best results. Double Dash also had a store of Secret Staff Ghosts. Continuing the Yoshi Association with Desert Tracks, the Ghost here is Birdo driving with Yoshi in tow, in the Turbo Yoshi with a time of 1:50:755.

DS:

The DS Flower Cup opens with Desert Hills, which is the only Desert Track to ever be in the Flower Cup, as well as the first opener that wasn't a Mushroom Track or a Mario Circuit since SMK. It's also more or less a simple loop unlike the twisted Super Circuit renditions. There are some nice wide straightaways as well as some gentle turns that aren't difficult for anyone with decent handling. Since you're looking for Handling and Speed I might bet on Luigi, ROB, Waluigi or Yoshi (most of whom actually have some ties to this track). Use their best rides.

Desert Hills is a strange track by association. Yoshi is busy with Yoshi Falls and without any other really appropriate Driver available the Ghost is ROB in the ROB-LGS with a time of 1:31:262 . This is the only Desert Track to ever get a remake, and the Wii Ghost is Dry Bone. The Normal Staff Ghost goes 02:10.233 in the Standard Bike S and the Expert does a  01:52.686 in the Tiny Titan. The Wii Version is also full of Waluigi Grand Prix signs for some reason as well a really pissed off Sun.

Wii:

By comparison this track seems so innocent leading off the Special Cup for the first time. Instead, this track is secretly insane. Besides the giant statues crumbling around you, there are some thread-the-needle Offroad Shortcuts, some inescapable sand, 90° Temple Turns and plenty of Pokeys and Bats to knock you around or at least ruin that final jump. There are tons of Wii courses whose maps look very friendly, indeed this is a simple loop, but full of so many obstacles as well as altitude changes, wide, slippery sandy track material and danger everywhere that it belongs in the Special Cup. Just think when you finish it gets tougher from there.

The Ghost here is back to Yoshi. The Normal goes a 02:30.949 in his signature Classic Dragster, while the Expert blasts off a 02:14.286 in the Nitrocycle. I had a tough time balancing the need for speed on this course with the obvious handling issues. I've actually had some luck with Daisy in the Dolphin Dasher, that'd be my recommendation.

8:

Bone-Dry Dunes is a callback to more a Kalimari / Sunset Wilds kind of craggy desert rather than the Egyptian-themed ruins that more modern games have featured. It's all shaded in a deep orange ochre with swirling vortexes of sand making tornadoes and rivers that can gobble racers up. There's a bit of a heady Mid-Eastern vibe here, too, possibly reminiscent of Shy Guy Bazaar with its caravans, tents, and craggily structures. It's possible to bypass anti-gravity sections entirely here, which is rare, so that could impact your Wheel selection. There is no water but a short air portion, along with some truly brutal turns towards the end of the track. The bone theme is apparent here, with Dry Bones who won't really upset your Kart but surely slow you down, along with Bone Piranha Plants, will mess you up completely.

The Staff Ghost here is Morton Koopa Jr., who uses the Tri-Speeder, Monster Tires, and Super Glider in 2:13.391. That's actually one of the better combos to handle both Speed and Traction, which is necessary in this awfully sandy course. Morton himself also has one of the higher base speeds. The handling will be completely wretched, though. You can pair the Monster Tires with something like the Standard ATV to maintain traction without losing speed or the Pipe Frame, which will lose a little bit of traction but gain handling without losing speed. Good luck, grasshopper.

Beach Tracks

History:

There is no one Beach Owner to all these tracks, but they're all pretty similar. Most of these are owned by the lesser underlings of the Koopa Kingdom. The Koopa Beaches are technically Bowser's property and exist on the fringes of Dark Land, out in the Ocean. They serve as relaxation homes for the Koopa Troop, a spot to get away as well as a small way to boost morale after countless defeats at the hands of the Mario Bros. The Koopas in their lone attempt at seeking some political power in Bowser's Harsh Regime have fully funded the construction of Race Courses out of these Islands, although the track construction is minimal.

Shy Guy Beach exists off the Coast of Yoshi's Island and as such are under a constant barrage from the Pirate Guys seeking to plunder the region's rich natural resources. The course was funded by Yoshi although recently sold to the Koopas, though the Pirate Guys have the same desire for booty. Cheep-Cheep Island also exists in Dinosaur Land, although this was constructed and maintained by the Koopas. Likewise with Cheep Cheep Cape. Peach Beach is on Isle Delfino in the Seas South of the Mushroom Kingdom, transformed into a course by the Princess herself. Cheep Cheep Beach is on the Southern Shores of the Mushroom Kingdom itself, originally on land owned by Peach again but sold to Kong in 2004 after she favoured her Isle Delfino Vacation Home. Kong used the Tropical Region as a hang-out from him and his Brood during their extended stays in the Mushroom Kingdom before eventually crafting a Course out of the grounds.

Super:

The idea for Koopa's Courses being beaches may have come from the Beach Koopa, which was the appearance of any Koopa without a shell. Koopa Beach 1 and 2 feature as early tracks in the Star and Special Cup. This is the latest any Beach Track would get and these are both more difficult in proportion to SMK's other tracks when compared to later Beach Courses. Beach 1 is nothing more than a string of Islands connected by water and a few grassy patches. It's possible to drive over shallow water and that can open up some extensive shortcuts. Koopa himself is really the best option here, although with sliding and hopping some of the bigger Drivers are usable. Koopa Beach 2 is the inverse of 1, instead of a string of islands around a big water interior it's simply one Massive Landmass with an inner full of slowy grass. There are also Cheep-Cheeps that pop up and wreck your Kart.

Both of these tracks reappeared in Super Circuit though it reshuffled the courses. Instead of 4 Cups of 5 Tracks each Super Circuit contained 5 Cups of 4 Tracks each. Koopa Beach 2 also came back in DS as a Retro Track. The Ghost is Yoshi in the Egg 1 at 0:54:847. Yoshi is here because DS didn't have a Koopa, tho it did have Dry Bones (he was associated with Creepy Tracks). Yoshi has always been in Tropical Island games, it's not a stretch to have him here.

64:

64 introduced the idea for the Mushroom Cup to have a Beach Circuit, which was followed all the way to Wii, which has no Beach Track in the vein of any of these (Koopa Cape is the closest, though with the underwater piping and waterfalls is really nothing like any other Course). Koopa Troopa Beach has a very infamous shortcut but is mostly a race around a giant rock, making it more similar to Koopa Beach 2 than later incarnations. It also adds the crabs, the underpass and palm trees that would appear many times later on. The only Koopa reference is the Giant Rocky Outcrop which is distinctive enough. There are tons of ramps on this course for some reason, but it's not really necessary or speedy to go over any of them unless you're taking a shortcut. Someone with lose handling who can handle the wide muddy track for shortcuts would be excellent, possibly Mario or Luigi besides the obvious Peach or Yoshi.

This track returns in Mario Kart 7 although it's almost unrecognizable. The ramps have all shifted and the major shortcut is now dependent on water level for Drivers to hit the ramp. There is heavy use of Air Travel to cover this shortcut and the other ramps, but the biggest change is the use of Sea Travel across previously unnavigable areas. If you have a strong desire to cut corners use someone with great Air and Sea speed such as the Egg 1 with Roller Wheels. The Ghost is Koopa Troopa using the Pipe Frame, Standard Wheels, and Super Glider in 01:54.274, which is a solid combo, but doesn't fully take advantage of water traveling shortcuts. The Expert uses the Soda Jet, Sponge Wheels, and Parafoil in 01:42.909, which hurts its underwater capabilities even more, and would seem a solid air option but the Parafoil kills that. Pick a means of transport and go after it.

Super Circuit:

Shy Guy Beach is a lot like Koopa Beach 1, it's a chain of islands connected by shallow water, which again means that there are plenty of shortcuts if you pick someone with good off-road. It also takes the Koopa Troopa Beach Route by appearing in the Mushroom Cup. The only real danger here are the Crabs again as well as the Pirate Guy Cannonade. It wasn't a stretch to move from Koopas to Shy Guys, the Pirate Guys are equally tropical. This course reappeared in Wii where the Normal Staff Ghost is Koopa in the Cheep Charger at 01:45.568. That's really the perfect merging of Beach tropes - Koopa, Cheep-Cheep and Shy Guy all in one. The expert goes 01:32.867 in the Magikruiser, which with its ridiculous Offroad is one of the best Vehicles to use here. I would pick Toadette, though.

Cheep-Cheep Island is also in Super Circuit, in the Lightning Cup. It's again natural that after the Cheep-Cheeps appeared in tons of these Beach Tracks they would get their own. It's almost the same kind of layout as Shy Guy Beach but the sandy paths are connected by boardwalks instead of shallow water. This makes Offroading less vital. Lots of straightaways with some subtle turns and hazards. Also, Giant Cheep-Cheeps.

Double Dash:

Peach Beach was put in just for the rhyming. It is more like Koopa Troopa Beach with its Big Rocky Arches and shallow pool of water that can become a nifty shortcut if you cut across the sandbar or the low tide. There are tons of Satanic Ducks on this course as well as a weird warp pipe after the start that wastes tons of time but gives you a Double Item.

Actually hitting this thing off the start and getting 8th Place Stars and Mushrooms isn't that bad in Grand Prix. Daisy's Cruiser is visible here as well as another Sunshine Cruiser, both of which are viewable on Yoshi Circuit later on the Star Cup. It's likely that both load somewhere off Delfino and then cruise around the Mushroom Seas. If you time this right and get Mushrooms across the shallow pool the course is basically two straightaways connected by some meandering turns. High Offroad is key, tho if the water is shallow enough the Bigger Karts are actually less affected than some of the smaller guys that just drown. I've done very well here using DK/Bowser/Boo Pipe somehow.

This came back in Wii where the Ghost is Peach who clocks in at 01:34.233 in the Royal Racer. The expert version goes 01:23.140 in the Dolphin Dasher. Isle Delfino? Dolphin Dasher? It's all coming together. This course actually broke some Beach Tradition, there's no Crabs and no Cheep-Cheeps but the Shallow Water and Arches are there.

DS:

The DS Beach Track is Cheep Cheep Beach (again, note the shifting punctuation). This thing has a bit of everything. The Crabs are back along with some big patches of shallow water connecting parts of the track and some tidal shortcuts. There is also the third Beach Arch after Koopa Troopa Beach and Peach Beach as well as a Boardwalk slightly reminiscent of Cheep-Cheep Island. Also for the first time ever there is an actual track that runs through a bit of Jungle during the last quarter. Kong is the Ghost here, in the Standard DK he pulls a 1:43:654. Again, this must just be the Tropical reference and the fact that this game lacks a Koopa and Shy Guy is Download Play Only. Since all the Beach Courses feature some water it's always good to have a light guy who won't sink but depending on the depth of shortcut you may also want a big guy who won't drown. They all also have very ill-defined tracks, which makes the Boardwalks here and on Cheep-Cheep Island stand out. Either way, Offroad is vital for shortcuts here.

7:

Mario Kart 7 adds Cheep Cheep Cape which mostly goes back to basics. It's the third course in the Mushroom Cup, holding an identical position as Koopa Troopa Beach and Cheep Cheep Beach. It's a pretty simple loop although this is mostly because it's the first track to show off the new gameplay in 7, with large underwater elements. There are portions of the track where drivers can go through either the air or sea, meaning that a Kart with decent stats through every medium is necessary. These would include the Cloud 9, Egg 1, Pipe Frame, and Royal Ribbon.

The benefits the Staff Ghost, Peach, perhaps a callback to Peach Beach. She goes a 01:53.758 in the Royal Ribbon with Roller Wheels and the Peach Parasol. The expert keeps the identical accessories but switches to the Tiny Tug in 01:42.011, which is a great combo. Using the Wood Wheels instead may give you a slight advantage on land and the chance to beat her.

Bowser Castles

History:

Deep within the Koopa Kingdom, otherwise known as Dark Land the Castle of the Great Lord Bowser looms over all else. While the sky is in a permanent thunderstorm and the land is full of ash, dead trees and lava, the Keep is where Bowser extends his dominion. The Castle itself was erected in the Dark Ages, sometime around 600 CE. No one knows exactly when Bowser inherited it, it's actually more likely that he wrested control of it from its previous occupant sometime in the early 1970s and quickly slapped his name on it as well as plenty of statues and other signifiers of his Cult of Personality. although Bowser has continually modernized it, filling it with mechanical versions of himself and other fusions of technology and magic to make alive plenty of Danger. When Mario obtained the Mario Circuit in the late 1980s, Bowser was not to be undone. The first Circuit retrofitted throughout the Keep was completed in 1991 and with the massive Koopa Troop backing its construction and filling the venue it has never been unpopular, regardless of their actual opinions.

Super:

Bowser Castle 3, Pit of Despair

Bowser's Castle has the most incarnations of any Course in Mario Kart History, a nod to the excess and insanity of Bowser Himself. SMK has three versions of the track, all of which are the penultimate tracks in the first three Cups. Each Bowser Castle precedes a Mario Circuit. Each one features a stone raceway lying in a pit of lava. Not unlike the Ghost Tracks, there is no Offroading here. Even for the Mushroom Cup there are plenty of twists and turns, usually 90° and there are gaps in the track that necessitate a jump over lava in every Course. These tracks seem to be in the belly of the Castle, perhaps in the Deepest Pit so that the denizens of the Mushroom Kingdom couldn't see what he was plotting upstairs. There are also attacking Thwomps. Ouch. All of these had another run in Super Circuit, although they were reformatted from the 5-Track/4-Cup system into a 4-Track/5-Cup one. All these tracks feature basically a series of linked straightaways connected by hairpin turns, which would favour the driving styles of Koopa or Toad.

64:

Bowser's Castle (note the changing possessive as we go along here) is the final Race in the Star Cup of 64. This time we're out of the basement and zooming all over the Castle, from the courtyard to a...Thwomp Prison of some kind, to a rickety Lava Bridge, a grand hall, another courtyard and finally the Castle Roof. Bowser seems to have infused his presence throughout the grounds, perhaps by some Dark Magic. His laugh may be heard echoing throughout the walls during the last lap or when a Drive gets a bit too close to his Statue.

This is a great course, it's a no brainer that it comes back in Wii as the Final Retro Course. It's actually the longest Retro Course, 64 was notorious for its long Races. The Normal Staff Ghost is Bowser, Jr who clocks in at 03:19.323 using the Standard Kart M. The Expert version uses the Nitrocycle in 02:55.933. This is a difficult course, there aren't many obvious straightaways to pick up speed, and there's enough danger around the 90° turns that handling is vital. Pick someone who has both Handling and Drift bonuses. And that would be...Mario? That works.

Super Circuit:

Super Circuit features even more Bowser Castles, one for every Cup but the Lightning Cup. This time Bowser Castle serves as the Final Race in Each except for the Special Cup wherein it's the penultimate track again. This has actually set a nice little trend - a Bowser Castle track has preceded Rainbow Road in each following game. The Thwomps return for all these tracks. Bowser Castle 1 seems to take place in the Bowels of the Keep again. Bowser Castle 2 is in some Great Hall with a massive statue of the Koopa King looming over the Racers. Bowser Castle 3 takes place on the roof, which is still across a giant lake of lava. It's possible that Bowser Castle 3 is some separate Courtyard on the Grounds in the Valley of Bowser. The Fourth and Final Bowser Castle in this game goes back into the Underground with some strange background that suggests some...Giant Fire Octopus or something. This is possibly the most complicated Bowser Castle Track up to this point. They usually actually tend to be relatively simple, just filled with tons of danger.

Bowser Castle 2 made a reappearance as a Retro Track in DS. The Staff Ghost is Bowser, obviously, in the Standard BW with a time of 1:52:258. Bowser Castle 3 came back for Wii, where the Normal Ghost is Dry Bowser in the Standard Kart L at 02:58.304, the Expert uses the Bowser Bike in 02:39.391. Finally and fittingly, Bowser Castle 1 came back in Mario Kart 7 with very little changes, and is also the only track from Super Circuit in the game. The Ghost here is back to Bowser where the Normal goes 01:31.030 using the Pipe Frame, Standard Wheels, and the Ghastly Glider, leaving much to be desired. The Expert goes 01:22.221 using the Koopa Clown, Roller Tires, and Super Glider, a far better combination, although for once Bowser is excelling at handling, not speed. It's interesting that these Super Circuit Tracks have been remade but nothing from SMK has made a subsequent appearance, outside of the Super Circuit redo.

Double Dash:

The Double Dash Bowser Castle is a doozy. It's again the penultimate course in the game and features racing through a Grand Hallway, Thwomp Danger, down to the deepest parts of the Castle and then up to the highest roof. Not content with a Statue of himself that breathed fire but didn't pose a threat to Racers in 64, the Giant Bowser Statue near the end of the course belches a constant stream of Fireballs at any slow-witted Driver here. There is also a vast moat of eery purple water, probably full of excess pollutants from the industrial sections of Dark Land as well as a continuous thunderstorm, tho no rain falls. It's most likely heat lightning due to all the industry and lava everywhere.

Double Dash had Secret Staff Ghosts for every track, one for each Initial Character as Lead Driver...except Bowser Jr. Shame. Anyway the Ghost here is Bowser/Bowser Jr in the Koopa King at 2:44:690. Like all the Castle courses, acceleration and handling are the keys to avoiding obstacles. I'd pick Boo Pipes, any lighter Kart is just going to get destroyed.

DS:

This game might get the prize for most ridiculous Bowser Castle. It is actually a basic loop with only a few smaller loops but there are some alternative paths, high and low, left and right as well as hardly any solid land at all. It has its drivers zooming across rotating metal cylinders, huge moving platforms and spinning rooms. Roughly the first half of the Race is indoors through another Thwomp Hallway and up some stairs. We don't see any dungeons here, most of the track flows through rooftops, courtyards and a gargantuan lake of lava outdoors. Find a Kart with weight enough not to doesn't bounce around and can get some speed to handle both all the jumps and the many straightaways. Perhaps Bowser himself in the Hurricane or DK in the Wildlife is the way to go. The Time Trial Staff Ghost here actually is Bowser again, this time in the Hurricane at 2:19:661.

Wii:

Bowser's Castle (are you paying attention to the possessive, yet?) for Wii is deceptively simple if one looks at the map alone. It seems like just two long corridors connected by some light turns, right? Neither straightaway can be properly taken advantage of - the first is a huge half-pipe with boosts and a giant fireball-breathing mechanical Bowser at the end of it. The second, which includes the starting point is full of lava geysers that swell and erupt at random. There's really an epic feel to this one, though. The hallways are massive and literally bend and shake as the Drivers fly through them. Most of it seems unlike the Bowels of Super Circuit or the Open Air of DS. It's very much directly the spiritual successor of the 64 Version. Actually only this and the 64 Version are called Bowser's Castle, hinting that these are the only ones he lives at. The rest are Bowser Castles, implying the name Bowser is a descriptor rather than a signifier of ownership. This is the only track that runs through a character's house, there has never been a Peach Circuit within Peach's Castle. I guess she just doesn't want tons of crazy Racers and Fans in her house. Bowser doesn't really care. This is definitely a Wii-influenced track, there is way too much craziness going on for this to be replicated on any other system the way, say, Moo Moo Meadows could have been. The carpet is also very nice.

The Normal Staff Ghost here is the Big Man, Bowser himself. He set a time of 03:04.836 in the Piranha Prowler, then the Expert did a 02:42.098 in the Bowser Bike. As such it's the second longest Original Track in the game (Rainbow Road's Ghost takes two seconds longer). There is one longer Retro Track though - the 64 Bowser's Castle.

These guys are brutal.

7:

Bowser's Castle returns as the penultimate course in Mario Kart 7. It uses much of the land, sea, and air travel that characterizes the game. It begins with a journey into the Dark Lord's mouth and then the paths split like they usually do, but this time both vertically and horizontally. There are plenty of Thwomps again, but this may be the most organic of any Bowser Castle. There are less hard angular turns and more caverns and wide paths, although bordered by lava. There aren't any courtyards or trees this time around, but there remains the enormous lava moat towards the end of the course as well as more mountainous terrain than has been seen previously. There's also a spinning tunnel reminiscent of the DS version. As far as length, it's the second-longest original track in the game to Rock Rock Mountain.

The Normal Time Trial Ghost here is again Bowser, who goes 02:34.815 using the Standard, Monster Tires, and Super Glider. The Expert switches to the Blue Seven, Red Monster Tires, and the Ghastly Glider in 02:15.244. This is a well-balanced option but still lacks Sea Speed. The same Kart with Roller Wheels can counter this without losing the high land speed he has.

8:

In 8 the version of Bowser's Castle is similar to the Wii version but everything is amped up. Everything is maxed out. Just look at the façade. There is this progression of the Bowser statue, too - in 64 there was a stationary statue in the first courtyard blowing fire that couldn't really hit you. In Double Dash there was a giant statue that moved left to right spitting fireballs during the last section of track. Wii had an enormous mechanical Bowser that would also spit fireballs, this time during a long half-pipe that eventually split. 8 features a fully animated half-stone / half-lava Bowser that punches the split anti-gravity track, causing it to wobble and yes, annihilate any forlorn racer caught in the way.

The entry way is also very similar to Wii, although it forgoes a split path (see: Twisted Mansion) but has many right angle turns down stairs that are really familiar. On the second lap it adds lasers though, you know, to stay on your toes. There are also tremendous vertical anti-gravity portions with jumps and fireballs and swinging pendulums. It ends with a bit of a cliffside portion that is really similar to any post-Double Dash Bowser's Castle, but also includes a significant air jump across a hazardous, lava-spewing lake. Good luck.

The Ghost here is Bowser, in the Badwagon with Standard Tires and the Super Glider, pulling in at 2:23.872. This is kind of a bizarre pick, not only does he avoid the Bowser Kite, which seems fitting, but the Badwagon is most useful as an underwater vehicle with decent traction. Bowser himself has always been designed around Speed without use for much else and something like the Sports Coupe and Monster Tires would seem more up his alley. Anyway, you can target these or plenty of other Karts to get a speedy edge on the Dark Lord.

Ghost Tracks

History:

The Mushroom Kingdom is full of strange Ghosts called Boos. It is thought that Boos originate from deceased souls who are unwilling to pass on. Once they become Boos though, the souls have no recognition of their past lives and instead form a unique race in itself, with a loose allegiance to their King, who very well may have been some Great Koopa who ruled centuries earlier. The Boos are powerful, as their souls are both Mushrooms and Koopas they have no exact allegiance to either side in the great war between the two races, although due to their naturally creepy appearance they tend to align themselves with the Koopa Hordes.

The Boo Woods are expansive and include many swamps and forests in addition to a few huge mansions that are now faded and decrepit. They were once some of the wealthiest areas of the Mushroom Kingdom but as the Boo Infestation grew and grew the Mansions became virtually unlivable. The wealth of the area is apparent due to the heavy number of lakes, piers and boardwalks that the Boos have converted to Race Tracks. They were once great fleets of Yachts and sailors that now lie in ruin and disrepair.

The Boos have always had an interest in racing though, and as uncontrollable as they are often do not stay in their seats during a race, instead floating around and laughing at the Drivers. They even allowed themselves to become Items before their leader, the King himself entered the Cups. Shortly after this, Luigi came into posession of a series of Derelict Mansions in the area. The Boos didn't take kindly to this, but they delighted in terrifying racers and generally screwing with everything, so King Boo allowed him to proceed.

Super:

The Infamous Ghost Valley 2

SMK featured Haunted Piers in the form of Ghost Valleys 1, 2 and 3. Ghost Tracks only appear in the Mushroom, Flower and Special Cups, and this game features a course in each. The tracks are notoriously difficult due to the sharp turns formed by the wooden planks and the fact that unlike tracks on solid land there is no Offroading - no room for error. It's actually so dark that it's not exactly clear if water exists in the lake bed anymore or if the Boos have just replaced it with an ever-growing darkness. All three of these tracks came back in Super Circuit which recreated the entirely of SMK although re-sorted its 5-Track/4-Cup system into a 4-Track/5-Cup system. Ghost Valley 2 also made a reappearance in Wii as a Retro Track. The Staff Ghost is King Boo, obviously, who raced a 01:06.595 in the Standard Kart L, but the Expert is an impressive 00:58.907 in the Torpedo.

64:

The penultimate track in 64 is Banshee Boardwalk, a course full of razor sharp turns, some long straightaways and a run-down shack full of Bats and graffiti, no doubt from some Mushroom Punk Kids hanging out on the wrong side of the harbour. It also features a giant Cheep Cheep that jumps over players, indicating that life in this part of the lake is actually sustainable. This track came back in the Retro Lightning Cup in DS. The Ghost is Dry Bones in the Dry Bomber with a time of 2:14:403. The Skeletal Koopa here is a bit more appropriate than his association with Donut Plains 1. With a good amount of bats and straightaways I might recommend a heavyweight here who isn't going to spin out as soon as there's a bit of danger. DK.

Super Circuit:

Boo Lake

The Ghost Trend continued in Super Circuit, adding Boo Lake as the second track in the Flower Cup, the same position as Ghost Valley 2, and Broken Pier in the Special Cup, tho not the penultimate track.Boo Lake is very similar to other Ghost Tracks, its got the wooden path, the mysterious Black Lake and a horizon full of twisted trees and run-down mansions, implying that it takes place indeed in the Boo Woods. Broken Pier is a bit more interesting. The track is wooden, but much less straight, full of all these jagged, crumbly turns. It's also clearly not in any woods but seems to be in a lake over some High Creepy Mountains. These definitely aren't the mountains of the DK Jungle, nor do they really look like the ones surrounding Grumble Volcano. It's all part of the mystery and creepiness that pervades these courses.

DS:

There are no original Ghost Tracks in Wii, nor any at all in Double Dash. DS has Luigi's Mansion though, which breaks with the "Haunted Dock" tradition but still features Boos and some swamplands. There isn't doubt that this track was created more from the Boo's Love of Racing rather than Luigi's Intervention. It's a relatively long track, even for being the closer of the Mushroom Cup. There are swampy muddy patches, walking trees, Boos and some long wide patches of raceway. Luigi is the Staff Ghost with the Streamliner at 1:59:357. A good Offroader is necessary, someone light who doesn't falter in the mud. Toad's Mushmellow is up.

This comes back in 7 with some jumps to incorporate the Air travel possibilities of the game along with some dangerous Boos popping our of walls but other than that it's very similar to DS. The Staff Ghost here again is Luigi. The Normal uses the Gherkin, Slim Wheels, and Super Glider in 02:09.982. The Gherkin is pretty awful and this shouldn't be a problem. The Expert, however, uses the Egg 1, Monster Tires, and Parafoil in 01:58.539 , which is much more potent considering both its land speed and off-road capabilities. Stick on the path and cut the corners quicker with anything that has better handling and get the win.

8:

Twisted Mansion is very similar to Luigi's Mansion, although much more of it takes place within the mansion rather than the grounds outside. Its entrace is actually most similar to Wii's Bowser's Castle, with its split carpeted paths that swirl up and down, though naturally here they are actually on the walls and provide the first of many anti-gravity sections here. The turns are brutal from there and involve a good amount of right angles in an ethereal water section where a giant wall of water is prevented from spilling into the rest of the mansion by some unholy force.

After that there is a brief air jump and then some Boos hidden in Statues that smash racers in the one section pretty similar to most of Luigi's Mansion. The Staff Ghost is Luigi, who is really the go-to creepy dude whenever a game doesn't have King Boo. He pulls a 2:16.195 using the Mach 8, Slim Tires, and and Super Glider. That's an exceptional combo, but will falter a little in anti-gravity and especially in water. Something like the Tri-Speeder may give you an edge during those underwater sections without sacrificing too much anti-gravity speed.

Donut Tracks

History:

The Donut Plains are a wide expanse of grasslands in the Western Tracts of Dinosaur Land. They are some of the Richest Farmlands in the region and provide foodstores for much of Dinosaur Land and the neighboring Mushroom Kingdom. After heavy unseasonal flooding ruined crops in the Summer of 1987 the Purveyors of the Territory started constructing Race Courses in order to attract some attention and tourism to their local economy. Since then it has been a formidable course in Mario Kart History although has not been relevant until the latest incarnation, Mario Kart Wii.

Super:

There are three Donut Plains courses in SMK. They are all dirt tracks surrounded by grassland and all have some lake or water that may be dangerous. The First Circuit comes after the initial Raceway Circuit in the Mushroom Cup, a trend that continued in 64 and Wii. The Second Donut Plains is the third track in the Flower Cup, and the Final Donut Plains is the lead-off for the Special Cup. All three of these tracks reappeared in Super Circuit, which recreated the entire SMK game, tho reorganized the 5-Track/4-Cup into the more standard 4-Track/5-Cup (although admittedly every other game has featured sets of 4-Track/4-Cup). Donut Plains 1 also made an appearance in DS. They are all twisty tracks with Mild Hazards, as any good racer will do. Its DS Staff Ghost is Dry Bones, which doesn't really seem to fit at all. The track is neither dry nor spooky, although it is a relatively simplistic track, perhaps fitting for a simplistic character.

64:

The Spiritual Successor to the Donut Plains courses is Moo Moo Farm. Like the SMK courses, it features a dirty path surrounded by rolling grassland, although this time the Farm Setting is clear and Cows are everywhere. There are also Monty Moles, which featured in Donut Plains 2 and 3. The course itself is a simple loop that is complicated by its vast amount of sloping hills on either side of the track as well as a ton of Monty Moles. Clearly the track designers need to hire someone to deal with the varmint. It also came back in DS. I think this is a course better for middleweights who won't bounce around on the hills, nor lose speed when they drop. Its Staff Ghost in DS is Donkey Kong, possibly due to the clear connection between Apes and Cows.

Wii:

Moo Moo Meadows in the Mushroom Cup of Wii actually combines the natures of the Donut Plains and Moo Moo Farms. It retains the Monty Mole factor that has been present throughout, along with stretches of grassy meridians and a flatter quality reminiscent of Donut Plains, but also the cows, farms and white picket fences of Moo Moo Farms. There are some good Offroad shortcuts although few drifting opportunities. Beyond the obvious Funky Flame Runner I'm digging Toadette in the Tiny Titan for this track. The Staff Ghost here is Baby Daisy in 01:37.856, implying some connection to this track, possibly because of its innocent, idyllic nature.