Rainbow Road

History:

The original Grand Prix Racers struggled to come up with a culmination of their collective efforts. They eventually found a solution in the Sky - using their combined powers and the almost unlimited potential of Stars, they created the first Rainbow Road. They continued to operate in tandem for years, creating a truly non-partisan final course. After the turn of the Century though, this became unwieldy. With the growing popularity of Racers' personal tracks and investments it became difficult for them to join together to create the Rainbow Road. Still using Star Power, they decided to delegate its construction to a smaller committee.

SMK Rainbow Road in Mario Kart 7

In 2001 Bowser's presence was felt in Rainbow Road and he oversaw construction closely from his Floating Castle. In 2003 this fell to Mario and Peach who worked together using their formidable resources to construct the track floating over Mushroom City. Other parties, notably Bowser, resented this and in the next Tournament it fell to R.O.B. who had less of a bias. As R.O.B. did not participate in any other Grand Prix, Rosalina used her vast Galactic Powers to construct the next track in the fringes of the Mushroom World's Atmosphere. Finally, the latest track was overseen by the Honey Queen, who stepped in and used her wide sphere of influence to construct a track across the planets themselves. Lakitu, after decades of his species officiating the races also stepped in to revive the Original Rainbow Road course.

SMK:

Rainbow Road has been one of the most consistent conventions of the Mario Kart series. It always concludes the Special Cup and serves as the Final Course in the game and usually one of the more difficult. No Rainbow Road has any Offroad and they are always suspended in space or the sky, which means that there is a constant danger of falling into the abyss. SMK's Rainbow Road doesn't have the most difficult turns in the game and is completely flat, but its trickiness is precisely that: It is full of 90° turns that come right after long straightaways and with exactly zero guardrails the course is perilous indeed. There are also thwomps that smash players and a few narrower portions where it's easy to get knocked around (and off). Its rainbow portions make up a sort of tile on the track.

Like every course from SMK, this was re-made in Super Circuit. The course also returned in Mario Kart 7 to conclude the Lightning Cup, the Final Retro Cup. It is largely similar although now when the thwomps pound the shockwave makes the track bouncy. It is also one of only two courses (the other being N64 Luigi's Raceway) to have no Air or Sea portions. The Ghost is Lakitu. Using the Pipe Frame, Slim Wheels, and Super Glider, the Normal Staff Ghost goes 01:34.459. This could be advantageous, as his Drift, Mini-Turbo, and Handling are top-notch at the expense of speed.The Expert Ghost goes 01:21.994 using the Cloud 9, Roller Wheels, and Paraglider. The Roller Wheels play into both the Cloud 9's strengths and weaknesses. Still, neither Ghost has all that much speed. If you can get going and not fall off, it should be a cinch.

64:

I consider 64's incarnation of Rainbow Road to be the grandest of them all. It is by far the longest course in Mario Kart history, usually taking around six minutes to complete. It is the only Rainbow Road completely surrounded by guardrails but there is danger both from errant shells bouncing around forever on the course as well as from the hungry chain chomps that roll by to ruin a Driver's day. More than that though, with its grand hills, long straightaways, and extremely tight turns, the course offers a bit for every playing style. Without a tremendous amount of interruptions, it allows these playing styles to play out. That is, whoever wins Rainbow Road a true driving champion. It is also so extravagantly long that players have time to catch up if they get the right items, or conversely based on skill, time to create an impressive lead.

The track is in the reaches of space, like the version from SMK. There are neon images hovering above the track of each Racer, as well as some items like Boo and the Mushroom. The track itself is much smoother than SMK, comprised of horizontal bands of every major colour in the Rainbow.

This course returned to close out the Lightning Cup in Mario Kart 8. There are some other major differences, including the presence of air jumps near the start and finish as well as large portions of the track now transformed into anti-gravity sections. It's really a bastardized version, though, because it has been transformed from taking three laps to only one, similar to Mount Wario, the Wuhu Tracks, or the Rainbow Road from 7. This makes the course much easier, although there are now spots lacking guardrails, which makes things slightly tougher. The Chain Chomps also no longer roam like maniacs but merely bounce up and down, shaking up the course. The only other major geographical difference is that it now takes place over a city, similar to Double Dash, instead of in the middle of space. The rainbow itself is also tiled more similar to SMK than the clean strips we saw in 64. All in all, despite the anti-gravity sections being pretty awesome, it's a big step down.

The Ghost this time around is Metal Mario, a signifier of his other-worldly nature, but also very in line with both Mario and ROB being previous Ghosts of these tracks. He uses the Standard ATV for some insane reason, with Monster Tires and Super Glider. There's no reason to need that level of traction and almost anything is going to get you going faster. Handling is an issue here, use lighter weights sparingly.

Super Circuit:

The Super Circuit incarnation combines some elements from both SMK and 64. Its pattern is similar to 64 but with a brighter tone and it shares a large amount of tight turns, but the whole course is flat. There is also a fair amount of both guardrails and gaps to endanger Racers. There are boost panels for the first time, which tend to hinder novices but excite veterans. Some of these, as well as Mushrooms, can provide some significant shortcuts to blast through this course.

For the first time, too, the track is not in space but clearly in the night sky. Players drive by clouds, which can land on players, shrinking them down. Bowser's Castle is also a constant presence in the background.

Double Dash:

Rainbow Road started getting really crazy in Double Dash, living up to its status as the Ultimate Test of a Mario Karter's Mettle. Like Super Circuit it contains both stretches with guardrails and very dangerous unguarded portions that can lead to certain doom. It also brings back Dash Panels, the course is full of them, which can be dangerous or a benefit depending on a Player's skill level. While looking down on the course from above it may not seem like much but there are extreme changes in elevation that can make the course very difficult as it is full of spiral turns that require excellent driving to get through. There is also an enormous vertical boost, the only one of its kind.

The Track itself is suspended over Mushroom City, making it another course that is in the Sky and not Space. The course is almost panel like, and it glistens in faded Rainbow Colours that merge, blend, and reflect with each other. The track is also very bumpy, and green shells are virtually useless. There is the occasional Star that lands, however. Still, items like the Star or Golden Mushroom can prove more fatal than beneficial. Like 64 there are objects suspended across the course, this time each characters' Special Item. They are more three-dimensional than the 2-D Neon Glow of 64, though.

Double Dash only had one set of Staff Ghosts. The pair here are Mario and Peach, the only such Ghost Team of unnatural pairs. Using Mario's Red Fire they pull a 3:16:476. This makes it the longest course in the game. It is again a course that can fit many playing styles and mastering drifting while staying on the middle of the track will lead to success.

DS:

What appears as a simple Figure-8 is much more. The DS version of Rainbow Road features the only full Loop in Mario Kart History, as well as a difficult Spiral Track. In the vein of recent Rainbow Roads this track is full of Dash Panels and mixes guarded sections with difficult sharp turns that offer no protection. The key here though, is both the Loop and the Spiral and players must be cautious about being hit with Blue Shells or Thunderbolts as they'll plummet to their doom.

The Track is back in Space although it has a blue rather than black hue, suggesting it may still be somewhere in the Upper Atmosphere. The course itself has vertical rather than horizontal bands of Rainbow Colours and looks more similar in tone to SMK than the brighter, faded hues of Double Dash or Super Circuit.

The Ghost here is R.O.B. in the R.O.B.-BLS who goes 2:16:246. R.O.B. is a weird robot and so fits the weirdness or the ultimateness of this course. This version requires good drifting ability as most of the straightaways are full of dash panels anyway, and the toughest parts in Time Trials are surely the turns and not the Loop. Many of DK's Karts such as the Wildlife and Rambi Rider have both high speed and drift and may be a good option. It is actually by a good margin not the longest track in the game, that distinction goes to Waluigi Pinball.

Wii:

This perhaps the craziest Rainbow Road, almost an unbelievable judgment. Like the courses from 64 and Double Dash it begins with a steep drop, although in this incarnation the drop is no hill but a sheer cliff. There are Boost Panels everywhere, along with spots to pull some tricks and many unguarded sections besides a few turns and the starting point. Its most distinctive feature may be the wavy section that drops down into a wide section of track punctured by two massive holes that lead to oblivion. Following this is a Star Warp that sends the players high above and across a great distance to the final third. It's similar to the Vertical Boost from Double Dash, but it travels horizontally a great deal as well.

The Course finds a median between Sky and Space and is clearly positioned very high in the Earth's Atmosphere. Players who fall off will begin to burn up in re-entry. Visible though, are moons, planets, bits of debris, and star bits floating around the cosmos. The track itself is similar to Double Dash, a reflective shimmering rainbow, although it is not as opaque or bleached out.

The Ghost here is Rosalina, reflective of her Galactic Status. The Normal Ghost appropriately uses the Shooting Star in 03:05.895 while the Expert switches to the Jetsetter in 02:44.734. Both do well in the hands of Rosalina. Karts are a bit more stable and perform better than Bikes here. Funky's speed applied to the Flame Flyer is a great option, but again, the course has bits to fit any playing style. In terms of length, the course barely beats Bowser's Castle to be the longest Original Track in the game but it is actually still shorter than the N64 version of Bowser's Castle, which closes out the Retro Tracks.

7:

The Final Rainbow Road to date is truly Galactic. 7 introduced the idea that courses could be only one lap, albeit a very long one. After Wuhu Loop and Maka Wuhu the last one-Lap track is this game's installment of Rainbow Road.  There are not as many drastic elevation changes, but there are extended Air Portions, multiple path choices, and a wavy road full of holes reminiscent of the Wii version. This time, however, players drop down to the surface of a Moon. Dash panels abound again, and one of the course's more distinct features may be a long Rainbow Tube that doesn't quite do what the Spiral in DS did.

The Course is truly in space. For the first time Players can drive not only on bits of Rainbow but the rings of a Saturn-like Planet as well as what appears to be the surface of a moon. There a a few places to catch some Air, the longer of which is full of Asteroids to dodge and Star Boosts to hit to keep up Air Travel. Failing to hit these can lead a Driver to either the course below or death. The track itself is a swirl of colours that evokes the vertical pattern of DS but gives it a greater swirl like Wii.

The Ghost here is the Honey Queen, perhaps due to her status as Intergalactic Royalty. The Normal uses the Birthday Girl, Slim Wheels, and Peach Parasol in 02:10.090 . This is a pretty good choice, but the Peach Parasol is egregiously slow in the air. The Expert switches to her own Bumble V, Standard Wheels, and Flower Glider in 01:52.077. This is again solid, although the Glider can definitely be upgraded. There are more turns, gaps, and last-minute decisions to be made her than a need for raw speed. The greatest straightaways are through the air, so pick someone with good handling and drift that maintains velocity in the Air. Something like the Bumble V, Cloud 9, or Pipe Frame, along with the Sponge or Wood Tires ought to do the job.

8:

The Rainbow Road here returns to much of what made the Wii Rainbow Road great - set high in space with the Earth down below, with insane, impossible turns, split sections, and a massive air boost. Like 7, though, there is also some significant sections where no rainbow is traveled on, instead there exists a massive orbiting space station with shifting directional paths. It's also notable for being the only Rainbow Road with a small patch of Off-Road, though. It's completely allergic to barriers, and very easy to fall off when zooming along with anti-gravity. Anti-gravity, by the way, was made for this course, and it employs them perhaps better, or at least more extensively than any other course in 8.

Depending on your comfortability with that, you'll surely want someone with proper handling that won't fall into the abyss. The Ghost here is Pink Gold Peach, who uses the Comet, Slim Tires, and Super Glider. That's a damn fast combination but you can use the Slick Tires to get that anti-gravity speed up and perhaps someone with less weight for better handling during those deadly turns. The use of Peach in her Pink Gold diecast here may be a reference to her Ghost from Double Dash, along with the use of Metal Mario in the 64 Rainbow Road.

Cloud Tracks

History:

The Sky Garden course is one of the very few in Sarasaland, homeland of Princess Daisy. It floats on the skies high above the Capitol Kingdom of Chai. Using some of the Kingdom's own magical essence and the tall vines in the Kingdom the track is supported on the very clouds themselves. Its dangerous access and expensive upkeep led to no other tracks developing up here although this course has returned on a few subsequent Grand Prix under the administration of Daisy.

The blueprints of stable cloud and vine racing technology was eventually adapted in another location, off the Western Coast of the Dark Land, officially in neutral territory, but filled with many of Lord Bowser's Airships. Bowser and Baby Rosalina made a landmark deal to decommission a small portion of his fleet in the interests of the race course. It was one of Baby Rosalina's first moves upon entering the current timestream, and evidently Bowser held her Galactic Authority in high regard despite his attempts to upset her older counterpart.

Super Circuit:

This is the Second Track in the Lightning Cup, which appears only in Super Circuit. It's a bit difficult, almost Rainbow Road-esque with its lack of borders, although the course is wide enough with some cloudy Offroad meridians that slow Racers down. There are also plenty of boosts to avoid some close portions of track. It is basically a simple loop with a handful of tight turns. Control is very important here around the edges so someone like Peach or Yoshi would be valuable. In Grand Prix someone a bit heavier like Kong or Wario might be useful in order to avoid being knocked around.

This track returned in DS where the Staff Ghost is Daisy on one of her random appearances in this game. She utilises the Power Flower in 1:44:400. There is also a Luigi Blimp floating around, which suggests that it might be in the Mushroom Kingdom, but more likely it's Luigi staking his claim on Daisy's territory.

8:

It's great to see such the amalgamation here of two of Mario Kart's more bizarre courses - Super Circuit's Sky Garden and DS's Airship Fortress. Cloudtop Cruise has four major sections: Some curves on solid clouds, a brief overlay on to the deck of one of Bowser's Airships, an anti-grav section on a metal track inside of an active thunderstorm, and finally across a gargantuan vine growing out of a ? Box. It's pretty diverse but thematically sound. There aren't even a ton of spots to fall off of, unless you botch one of the two air jumps sandwiching the thundercloud or botch the supple slope of the vine.

The Staff Ghost is Baby Rosalina, in perhaps a nod to her other worldly or heavenly nature among the clouds. She uses the Biddybuggy, Standard Tires, and Super Glider, which means her speed is ridiculously low but she can handle like a dream. Handling isn't completely necessary here, the only really difficult turns would be on the Airship deck. Go with something crazy fast like the Mach 8 and Slick Tires and then adjust your handling needs by the Driver's weight class. All you need to beat is 2:26.347.

Jungle Tracks

History:

There are many Jungles throughout the Mushroom Kingdom, many of which have seen the intrusion of Race Tracks, seemingly inescapable in any location. Riverside Park was developed by Wario during his many travels to the far reaches of the Kingdom. It exists through the Emerald Passage far beyond the Dry Dry Desert. Wario also sought to develop the Lakeside Park park track on DK Island, next to the Monkey Mountains. Eventually as tensions rose between him and Kong this track was shut down and no one has raced there in a decade.

Yoshi's Island is the location of Yoshi Falls and Dino Dino Jungle, both in the midst of lush water resources. Yoshi however, after overextending himself in numerous Desert Tracks was forced to sell the Dino Dino Jungle rights to Kong, who, with no interest in managing the course, gave it to his buddy Diddy.

Super Circuit:

There are two similar Jungle Tracks in Super Circuit that have never appeared in any other game. Riverside Park is as it sounds - a winding twisting track around and across a wide river. It is also possible to use some nasty shortcuts here. There are a few straightaways but nothing that dominates the course, and much more often there's tight turns with a lot of grassy off-road spots. Someone Lightweight is going to be the key here that can maintain speed while dealing with all that junk. For only being the third track in the Mushroom Cup it's a decently complex track, with jumps and twists and hazards.

Lakeside Park is the same kind of deal. It's a winding track around a bit wider water hazard, although it does have the distinction of transitioning from daylight to darkness after the huge volcano erupts. There is somehow both more of a straightaway and more sharp turns, making a clear-cut choice for who should race this more difficult. Since Toad and Peach by far the better Drivers in this game, they're always a safe choice. This course leads off the Special Cup, which is actually similar to D.K.'s Jungle Parkway leading off that Cup in MK64. It also features a big jump and lots of water danger, making it somewhat of a spiritual successor.

Double Dash:

Again in the Special Cup, Double Dash featured Dino Dino Jungle, which can be a very difficult course. It's a relatively simple Figure-8 but features an unstoppable gigantic Dinosaur over part of the course and then a dastardly wooden bridge without guardrails. There's also evil geysers that erupt from the ground but generally you can see them coming. There are a good amount of hills near the finish line that will decimate Kart without good shocks like the Waluigi Racer, probably at the time you need it most. This map actually does a nice job dividing the track into four quarter-sections: Jungle, Bridge, Cave and Mountain.

Double Dash had Secret Staff Ghosts for each track in Time Trials. The Ghost here is Diddy Kong taking the lead with his partner, Donkey Kong. They ride in the DK Jumbo because of Donkey's heavyweight status. Still, they put in a time of 2:00:908. I suppose they needed to give the Jungle Course to the Monkey since Donkey has DK Mountain.

This course returns in Mario Kart 7 where it is generally the same. There are some more Air boost panels and a few other small differences but other than that it hasn't changed a huge amount. The Staff Ghost here is Yoshi in a befitting way. The Normal Ghost goes 02:29.837 in the Egg 1 using Roller Wheels and the Parafoil. The Expert uses the Egg 1 again in Monster Wheels and Swoop Glider. He'll have decent speed and very good handling. The moderate amount of air travel doesn't make air speed a necessity, stick to something with good acceleration around those turns, such as sticking the Wood Wheels on the Soda Jet.

DS:

Yoshi Falls is one of the shortest courses in any Mario Kart game and is really a very simple loop. Therefore we see it in the Mushroom Cup, in fact, it's the Second Course of the game. The key here is getting the inside track, because the actual course is very wide. What makes this difficult is the occasional waterfall along the Inside Track that can be very hazardous for sloppy drivers. The first and third falls are the only ones that inexperienced drivers should attempt to cross, the middle is much steeper and more dangerous. Beyond that, plenty of gentle curves and nice straightaways, feel free to nab someone like Bowser who has some Speed.

DS also had Staff Ghosts. Here Yoshi clocks in at  0:57:677 driving the Egg 1. This course came back in Wii though with no major changes. That game had both Normal Ghosts and unlockable Expert Ghosts. The Ghost is Yoshi again, this time the Normal uses the Zip Zip in 01:16.461 and the Expert goes  01:09.175 in the Super Blooper. He uses the Super Blooper, really? It's the only Ghost use of that Kart in the game. It's easy now to switch to Funky, who tears through this thing.

8:

The Thwomp Ruins could be considered a Jungle Track but it was different enough that I considered it its own course. You can find more information about it here.

Yoshi Valley

History:

Yoshi never had a lot of money. It was cheap then to convert a large desolate valley in Dinosaur Land on the borders of the Donut Plains into a Race Course. Yoshi didn't specify an exact path however, and his course instead winds through the sun-baked valley as a huge maze, with little direction. It was never that profitable, though, and after years of low attendance and difficult viewing spots by spectators, as well as the angering fact that no one ever knew who was in first or last place, Yoshi   was forced to close it down in the late 90s.

Fates shifted and the young Dinosaur was able to re-open the Valley as a Nature Sanctuary for his own people in time for the 2014 Grand Prix. The Valley underwent some tremendous changes in the nearly twenty years in between exhibitions, but much of the maze was preserved.

64:

Yoshi Valley first appeared in MK64, and there's never really been another track like it before or since. Yoshi's had plenty of tracks but they've all been pretty different. Super Circuit featured Yoshi Desert, it became Yoshi Circuit in Double Dash and the Jungle Track Yoshi Falls in DS. It's interesting that Yoshi  is so adaptable to different course styles, but this was the original.

It mostly features a Giant Yoshi Egg which is the only overt connection to Yoshi himself. There's also tons of pesky porcupines, some dangerous cliff edges and finally, plenty of paths to choose from. Some of the variable paths are clearly better than the others but here are a couple of your best bets:

This path veers towards the left once the maze starts, which is tough because it goes through a porcupine-filled stretch as well as a narrow tricky path with no guardrails. If you can maintain a course without killing yourself though this is one of the straightest ways to go with only one major turn in the maze itself, although that one may be too out of the way.

This is the broadest, safest route, with not a porcupine in sight. It's also incredibly slow as it takes the driver on the most extreme route through the valley. This might be alright for Beginners or those racing in the 50 cc cup with terribly stupid computer players. Then again, you can get a long way by taking the shorter, more dangerous routes there.

This would be a nice route if not for the brutal 360° turn near the end with the threats of Porcupines, a drop and a lot of speed going into the Central Mountain. The first narrow bridge is also a tricky shoot to make. In all, not a great path to take.

This is going to be the fastest route, but it's also probably the most hazardous. Porcupines abound, but it's still very direct if you can avoid them. It's also the wider tunnel and it has no major turns or brushes with the edges or extremes of the course. Still, those Porcupines can be Satanic, so watch out. Just make it to the huge Center Mountain and you'll be fine. There are some other paths through the Valley but they're all derivative of these four main routes. Mostly the trade off is safety for slowness, but that's typical for Mario Kart. A good driver here is going to have good control, there isn't a whole lot of room to get some nasty speed going.

8:

This course returns as the Final Course of the Retro Leaf Cup in Mario Kart 8 with some of the greatest changes ever for a course remake. These are primarily cosmetic, as the course adds more mountains, rivers, water falls, and slight alterations in the hills and landscape to make the course feel very different. There are other more oblique alterations, though. That Red Route above now holds a Barrel Cannon to Air Blast players along the long distance. The Green Route also had its bridge replaced with a tunnel, which doesn't change too much but feels hella weird.

There are some other differences. The porcupines are now Goombas, and the Final Egg is significantly smaller. The Staff Ghost here is Yoshi, of course, who pulls a 2:28.814 using the Wild Wiggler, Standard Tires, and the Flower Glider. It's the only Ghost that features the Wild Wiggler as well as the Flower Glider. Considering that Air Travel is optional and not really the best route, you can bypass that entirely. The Wiggler is decent, not much Speed lost for heavy improvements in Handling. Throw on some Metal Tires to make it even more fearsome.

DK Tracks

History:

After Kong raced in his first Grand Prix he had a very strong desire to create some tracks of his own outside the Mushroom Kingdom, however he lacked the capital. The currency on DK Island at the time was the Banana, and the population was small and friendly enough to engage in a simplistic bargaining system. Eventually coinage was introduced to the Island, possibly from contact with the Mushroom Kingdom, and it became a very capitalistic society. Kong was eventually able to raise enough to create D.K.'s Jungle Parkway that ran through the Heart of the Kongo Jungle, near where Kong made his home.  Nearby he was also eventually able to construct a track leading from the Kongo Jungle to the nearby Monkey Mountains, using his Barrel Cannon technology to traverse an otherwise impenetrable section of Mountain. This was more recent in the History of DK Island, as the once-chilly Gorilla Glacier had since given way to massive Volcanic Areas.

Kong eventually moved away from the Jungle Tracks on his own Island, perhaps he regretted the influx of Tourism and Mushroom Influence directly on his own land. He staked out the Northern Kremisphere, a huge continent located far North of DK Island, although with plenty of pleasant spots. Through his friend Dixie Kong, he was introduced to Blizzard Bear who had already been attempting to convert some stretches of the base of K3 into Race Courses. Here Kong was able to open up the DK Pass to the Grand Prix, as well as the DK Summit, which was soon infested by vacationing Shy Guys who seem to have an uncanny love for Winter Sports.

The most recent Kong Track innovation has been back to the Jungle, this time very close to DK's home, including a race around his actual house as well as the Holiest of Kong Lands, the Golden Temple, home of the Golden Banana Horde. Although this seems counter-intuitive to the best interests of Kong, it appears as if he has moved his most prized possessions elsewhere, suggesting that its whole presence in the latest Grand Prix is a red herring.

64:

Kong got his first track in MK64, and it's notable for featuring a huge jungle as well as a massive jump, the latter of which would define most DK Tracks in the future. This is also the first Jungle Track, but I decided that there were enough similarities between all of Kong's Personal Courses that the Jungle Tracks should be separate. There's actually plenty of tough turns here, mostly because any error puts drivers in the high grassy median, where they are assaulted by Coconuts until he or she spins out. The narrow bridge, easy shortcut up the dirt cave and the huge jump are the big features here. This track opens up the Special Cup and is difficult enough to deserve that.

This track came back in Wii where the Ghost is Kong himself. He uses the Phantom in 02:58.264 then the Expert comes back with a 02:37.782 in the Flame Flyer. This version is notably wider than the 64 version, and the Coconut Chuckers are also gone for some reason. In general the track is easier, although the Cave shortcut is much steeper and more difficult to pull off without a mushroom.

Double Dash:

DK Mountain in Double Dash is a lot like D.K.'s Jungle Parkway. It's a Jungle Trek with a huge jump, dangerous rocks and a narrow wooden bridge near its finale. There is, of course, a huge difference in its basic layout. It's the first Mario Kart track that was largely linear, with a huge automatic boost that takes most of the course. Wii would use this template plenty, but its inspiration was probably the big jump from 64 (in addition to Royal Raceway). This track closed the Star Cup and as such is similar in Grand Prix location as Jungle Parkway was. There is also a difficult shortcut, jumping over a section of twisty track that has disastrous results for failure. I try to pick someone who can turn and accelerate to nail it, as well as someone who isn't going to bounce and lose tons of speed on the ragged hills. The Boo Pipes seem a good fit.

Double Dash had a series of Secret Staff Ghosts. The Ghost here is Kong driving his own DK Jumbo with Diddy in tow at 2:12:639. This track was the second DK Track to return for Wii, where the Ghost this time is Funky Kong at 02:57.744 in the Wario Bike. The Expert goes 02:38.130 using the Flame Flyer, one of the faster Ghost Combos in the game. The Wii version again features a noticeably wider track and a few Boost Panels. There are so many Barrel Cannon-type levels in Wii that this course had to make an appearance.

DS:

DK Pass is the only Original Snow Course in DS and so shares some characteristics with the Frosty Tracks, like the Terrible Snowmen. It also opens up the Star Cup in DS, which Snow Land did in Super Circuit and Sherbert Land did in Double Dash, belaying the simple fact that every other Game besides Wii has also featured a Frosty Track somewhere in the Star Cup. It also features giant Snowballs, like the Rocks from DK Mountain.

Mostly though, it is a true Mountain course in its layout, with a huge uphill section and then a huge downhill section, which makes it more akin with DK Mountain and DK Summit than any other Frosty Track. In general it's nice to see the makers of Mario Kart realise that there are more locations in the Donkey Kong Games than jungles, and their use of snow, which should have been Gorilla Glacier until Donkey Kong Country Returns got rid of it. This is a tricky course with mostly a limited path of road then snow with some huge drop-offs without a lot of room for error. There are some snow patches to blow through on your way up though. Someone light with good Offroad is important then, otherwise you can speed through this. The Staff Ghost is Kong using the Wildlife in 2:14:607.

This course returns in Mario Kart 7 with more of its ramps offroad to be accessed by mushrooms and tricks and with some Gliding action near the big ending jump. The Ghost is Donkey Kong using the Barrel Train, Wood Wheels, and Super Glider in 02:35.045. This leaves his speed moderate, handling pretty good, and mini-turbo outstanding. The Expert goes 02:16.534 using the Bolt Buggy, Red Monster Wheels and Parafoil, which is a very good combo here. To beat it, something that handles well while succeeding off-road navigator is vital. Go for the Koopa Clown with Red Monster Tires.

Wii:

DK Summit is basically a combination of DK Pass and DK Mountain. It seems like it's a focal point for Winter Sports, including Ski Lifts and Lodges as well as plenty of pesky Snowboarding Shy Guys, who seem like a holdover from the Sherbert Land of Double Dash, which featured them Ice-skating. The Barrel Cannon appears again, this time even sooner than it did on DK Mountain, and the remainder of the Track is a long downward journey, at times turning into a half-pipe down to the bottom. It's a slippery track, I've actually had a whole lot of luck with Bowser driving the Honeycoupe. You don't need someone knocking you into the gaping abyss during Grand Prix. The Ghost here is Kong again, this time using the Standard Bike L in 02:34.693. The Expert uses the Flame Flyer in 02:17.546. This is also the only DK Track to appear in the Flower Cup, and only the second Frosty Track to do so.

It deserves mentioning that Wii's Maple Treeway also features a Barrel Cannon and uses Diddy as its ghost, proving some relation to the DK Tracks. It is such a weird track filled with many more Mushroom Kingdom references though, so we won't talk about it more here.

7:

DK Jungle takes an identical position to D.K.'s Jungle Parkway in MK64, opening up the Special Cup. It lakes a huge barrel jump but does reflect changes Donkey Kong has had within the Nintendo gaming world. It is heavily inspired by Donkey Kong Country Returns and includes many of those enemies as obstacles. There is a river and a big Flower Jump, along with a wood bridge, but none are as distinctive as in D.K.'s Jungle Parkway. Instead, the most distinctive element is the huge Golden Temple that really shifts gameplay in the middle of the track, giving some right angle turns, a series of boost jumps and treacherous falls. There are many tough turns, obstacles and a good amount of air time, anyone with fast air speed, good stability is key. Use the Roller Wheels and Ghastly Glider with whatever Kart fits your play style.

 The Normal Ghost here is Kong himself, using the Bolt Buggy with Red Monster Wheels and the Super Glider in 02:24.040. The Expert goes a 02:10.777 using the Wood Wheels with the Standard and Swoop Glider, which should hurt its air speed. Stick with the above-recommended customization.

DK Jungle returns in Mario Kart 8, in the Banana Cup. It's not tremendously unchanged from 7, especially due to the fact that 8 retained the air travel and jump elements that makes a pretty smooth transition. There is the addition of a large anti-gravity portion in the Golden Temple, which makes the already difficult right-angle turns a bit more complex. The Ghost here is DK once again, pulling a 2:26.900 using the Varmint, Monster Wheels, and Super Glider. The Varmint and the Monster's stats nearly cancel each other out but ends up with slight boosts in traction and min-turbo. There are enough straightaways to favor some pretty fast racers, Sport Bike will do with whatever level of handling you need from the driver.

Royal Tracks

History:

Soon after the young Princess Peach was thrust into the Rule of the Mushroom Kingdom in 1983 after the death of her Father, the Kingdom fell into Financial Ruin. Since the Mushroom People are not naturally capitalistic they remained mostly ignorant however, and their simple farming and trading ways were hardly affected. Some of the larger Banks of Mushroom City and beyond were launched into Crisis though, and many foreclosed. It wasn't until the Racing Grand Prix that began in the early 90s did the economy get a shot in the arm. Not only did more people pay huge sums of cash to see the races, many different parties developed Tracks across the Kingdom, which led to massive Population Movements. It wasn't long then, until with the advice of Toad, her Consigliere, that Peach developed the Royal Raceway on what used to be her Personal Grounds. While later her suitor Mario would develop his own tracks on Private Royal land, Peach also founded the Peach Circuit immediately South of her Official Lands as well as her expansive Private Gardens, the Peach Gardens, which were full of tamed Chain Chomps.

In addition to all this, Daisy, Princess and Ruler of Sarasaland also recently developed a course on the Isle of Delfino, which has proved incredibly popular with both the native Piantas and residents of the Mushroom Kingdom on vacation. We've included it here as the only other Circuit Track sponsored by a Royal Princess.

64:

The Royal Raceway is mostly known for two things: 1) The Enormous Jump and 2) Access to Peach's Castle. This was an early direct link to a previous Mario Adventure Game, in this case, Super Mario 64, where the Castle is identical and that game's primary setting. It's fitting that the final Award Ceremony also takes place here, giving some Center to the Races in the Mushroom Kingdom. Peach's course is also the center for the Award Ceremony in Double Dash, at Peach Beach.

As the third course in the Star Cup, it's one of the more-advanced Circuit tracks, and it proves it. This course has tons of deceptively dangerous turns, taking any too wide on the slopes towards the lake results in instantaneous failure. If the Big Jump is misjudged it may also lead to a crash into the Mountains. Some grassy sections actually prove nice cut-through spots if you have a Mushroom or Star, but ultimately you need trustworthy handling here to succeed.

Super Circuit:

Super Circuit broke tradition by making Peach Circuit the First Course in the Mushroom Cup.Every game since has featured a Luigi Circuit or something very similar. That said, this isn't a whole lot like Royal Raceway. The Castle is close but inaccessible and there is a ton of grassy corners to cut. There isn't really a character who is poor here. It's very straightforward. This track came back in DS along with the first track from SMK, Mario Circuit 1 and the first track from Double Dash, Luigi Circuit to make up the Shell Cup. It was all a conspiracy to not have an all-Luigi Circuit Cup, for sure. The Ghost here is Peach driving the Royale with a time of 1:12:011.

DS:

Peach Gardens is a unique course with lots of possible turns and paths along with some of the nicest Chain Chomps to be found in a Mario Kart game. It's also in the Special Cup, which is extremely tame in DS. There are some hills that aren't too difficult and not a whole lot of danger outside of some moles, a water hazard that is very easy to avoid and the aforementioned Chomps, who don't chase you but rather stay on their own path. There are plenty of right-angle turns, but the path is actually so wide in these places that it's never that difficult. The same goes for weaving between the large Southern Hedge. Go for someone like Bowser with speed here with impunity. The Ghost is Peach in the Royale again with a time of 1:52:989.

This track also came back in Wii without a whole lot of difference. The Ghost here is Baby Peach this time, clearly loving playing in her Big-Ass Garden. The Normal does a 02:34.894 in the Magikruiser, the Expert pulls a 02:16.777 in the Mini Beast. Again, you can take speed here, Funky in the Spear is perfect.

Wii:

Like I said, I've lumped the Daisy Circuit in here because it's one of the only Circuit Tracks in Wii (actually every Original Cup except for the Special opens with a Circuit Track) and it's more similar to be lumped in here than any place else. It does have some unique elements though. Its seaside village aspects may make it more similar to Delfino Plaza and its Sunset Time recalls Waluigi Stadium. It's a Royal Road, though so it ends up here. It opens up the Star Cup here and is pretty straightforward besides some city twists and gentle curves. Actually the more I look at it the more I realise this is a hodge-podge track. The "8" midway through comes back in Wii's Rainbow Road, and the two sections of track right next to each other looks like an Early Luigi Circuit. Like the other recent Royal Tracks though, someone with tons of Speed can make it through here. It's pretty well suited to Daisy herself in the Mach Bike.

The Ghost is exactly that. Daisy goes a 01:56.822 in the Royal Racer, then the Expert does a 01:41.362 in the Mach Bike.

Stadium Tracks

History:

The first Wario Stadium opened up in 1995 in the Mushroom Kingdom. Wario used the dirt track for all kinds of extreme sports and then adapted it to Kart Racing, designing the course himself. In typical fashion it's huge, long and twisted. He later changed it once again for another Grand Prix Competition. When Wario met Waluigi they soon saw eye to eye on numerous endeavours, and Waluigi also started building Stadiums, mostly with Wario's money. Thus Wario was the backer for many of Waluigi's projects until he started making some coin of his own through his Sports Appearances and his Waluigi Pinball enterprise. Despite neither hailing from the Mushroom Kingdom all their Stadiums are located there, the local government sees their presence as intrusions, but the populace that actually gets a chance to watch races in a large venue for once instead of sitting on a fence rail has been very supportive. This has further lined Wario and Waluigi's pockets.

64:

This is another trend that started with MK64. Though there had been plenty of Dirt Tracks before, and the Choco Tracks are their forerunner, no other Tracks are in confined Stadiums like this. This is what we're narrowing down to. Even though Wario Colosseum may be the natural extension (and from there Waluigi Pinball and Wario's Gold Mine), we're talking about limited, dirt-road, confined courses. Wario Stadium 64 is an incredibly long course full of huge jumps, tight turns and some deadly drops that set you back rather than require Lakitu's Help. There are also some very wide portions here which allow for perfect drifting. This is one course that may favour a heavyweight you can drift well and not bounce all over the place, like DK or Wario himself. Each Stadium Track appears in a different cup, this one opens up the Star Cup.

Double Dash:

Waluigi carried on the spirit in Double Dash. The Track itself is simpler and much less lengthy but still has the requisite number of jumps, twists and tough angles. There are Boost Pads for the first time along with a deceptive straightaway filled with giant wooden moving Piranha Plants and Spinning Firebars. The course shows its greater simplicity by closing out the Flower Cup this edition. It's also one of the only Sunset Tracks. Waluigi drives the Wario Car with Wario in the backseat for the Secret Staff Ghost. He goes a 1:59:658, noticeably shorter than the first Wario Stadium.

This course came back in Wii and it's the only Stadium Track to appear in that game. There are some notable additions, including Dash Panels in the Piranha Plant half-pipe and a reverse order of the Plants appearing. Waluigi Stadium is actually distinct from the Wario Stadiums in that its edges slope up to the sidewalls, allowing for some perfect boost turning and tricks (a likely reason it was included in Wii). The Normal Ghost here is Waluigi in the Standard Bike L at 02:32.882, the Expert uses the Piranha Prowler in 02:12.367.

DS:

A different Wario Stadium appears in DS, joining Mario Circuit, Luigi Circuit, Bowser's Castle and Sherbert Land as the only different signature tracks to appear in different games. This time it contains a much simpler in layout despite its appearance in the Special Cup.The DS Special Cup also included Peach Gardens, though, so it's not out of the ordinary that it's not that crazy of a course. It's not an egregiously long course but does feature a bit more mud than other Stadium Tracks, though Waluigi Stadium had a good amount, just not directly on the Kart Path. Thus there's actually some nasty Offroad here for the first time, though it can't really be used for Shortcuts. There are also Boost Panels and Firebars reminiscent of Waluigi Stadium. The walls are steep though, which makes for some tougher turns. Every Stadium Track has some overloop and the same goes for this one. Wario, using the Brute clocks in as the Staff Ghost in h 2:14:868. I think you can get away with Speed and Handling, pick Luigi's Poltergust 4000 or Waluigi's Gold Mantis.

Highway Tracks

History:

The Mushroom Innerkingdom Highway System was completed in 1954, which finally linked the many distant parts of the Kingdom together and allowed for both the many Adventures of Mario and Luigi as well as opportunities for Competition. Unlike ever before residents could travel across the lands and get to new places, most of which had new Race Tracks springing up as the Sport grew in popularity. As such, many of the power players from around the Mushroom World bought up land to make a Course or two, that is, except for Toad.

Toad was Consigliere to the Toadstool Royal Family and as such was forbidden to put his own money down to purchase land for commercial purposes. It was simply a conflict of interest. In order to get in on the Racing Action though, Toad was able to use certain portions of Public Roads as Race Tracks. It was a dangerous move, as he didn't shut the Highways down while doing this. In order to properly manage the tracks, many are close to his home of Mushroom City, tho some are also near his workplace, Peach's Castle.

64:

64 was again the initiator of this Track Trend. Toad's Turnpike opened up the Flower Cup which would be a common place for these kinds of tracks. It's virtually just a figure 8 with some hills that gently slope up and down along with some heavy traffic. The cars are a killer but it's really the big trucks that are very tricky to pass, especially when they pull up next to each other. The meridians are safe, but with 64's steering it's tough to stay there. There aren't any tough turns and plenty of straightaways, but you're never really going straight because there's a constant need to dodge other vehicles. Acceleration and handling are the absolute keys to all the Highway Tracks. In terms of geography, all of these are pretty close together, Toad's Turnpike is likely a highway leading into Mushroom City

Double Dash:

Super Circuit didn't have any Highway Tracks but Double Dash added two in Mushroom Bridge and Mushroom City. Mushroom Bridge is the rare Highway Track that takes place during the day. It's a bit more suburban than the hustle and bustle of the city and includes a huge bridge that has some nasty boosts but is cool if successful. Atop the bridge you can see Peach's Castle off in the distance, indicating that it's somewhat closer to the Heart of the Mushroom Kingdom. Mushroom Bridge again leads off the Flower Cup and is a pretty simple course, mostly a big loop with some curves through some tunnels, but again, the traffic, including a couple Bomb Karts makes it tricky, although this may be the most mildly dangerous one. Since no unlockable Character has a Secret Staff Ghost, the Ghost on this track is Koopa with Paratroopa in tow riding the Koopa Dasher in 1:31:458. It does return in DS however with Toad in the Mushmellow driving a  1:30:600.

From the Bridge we move on to the City, which is the only Highway Track to ever be in the Star Cup. It's actually pretty similar in construction to Toad's Turnpike, tho the overpass is a bit longer and there are multiple paths to take, although only the Secret Cut-Through Route is the smart one. It's also the only course that's featured in another course as Double Dash's Rainbow Road takes place in the skies above this City. For the Secret Staff Ghost, Paratroopa switches places with Koopa but stays in the Koopa Dasher with a time of 1:50:663. Again, the traffic here really isn't terrible to deal with (except for the Final On-Ramp) and the turns aren't really awful. If you drive on the edge of the wall you can avoid most of the Bigger Vehicles, I think you can go for Speed on this one, using something like the Piranha Pipes.

DS:

Shroom Ridge exists on the outskirts of Mushroom City and definitely contains the most complex course layout of the Highway Tracks. It has some brutal turns as well as oncoming traffic for the first time. The cars drive on the left-hand side, coming straight at the Player, in prior installments the Drivers always went with the flow. There is also a deadly drop-off for the first time. See, the gimmick of Highway Tracks used to only be that there were other Vehicles on the road. Shroom Ridge would be a fairly dangerous difficult track on its own (although maybe not concluding the Flower Cup), but the added Traffic makes it even tougher. You need to be able to react very fast here, so someone with expert Handling and Acceleration is key. Yoshi in the Egg 1 sounds good. The Ghost here is Toad in the Mushmellow again at 2:05:123.

Wii:

Half-Ridge...Half-City

Moonview Highway is really interesting. It's actually simply a big mash-up of Mushroom City and Shroom Ridge, with even a bit of Mushroom Bridge in there for good measure. Still, it's the only Highway Track in the Special Cup and it deserves to be there as one of the most difficult tracks in the game. There are huge cars and trucks that come barreling down the road, the most tricky parts are the blind turns that spell instant doom. There are also Vehicles that will actually swerve and change direction on the straightaways, meaning you go down one path to try to avoid something and it instead veers straight at you. If you're real sloppy you'll also fall off that bridge into the Unforgiving Abyss Below. There are two keys to this course: 1) Stay either in the middle of the road across the dividing lines where Cars are less likely to cross or on the left-hand side where you'll at least be going with traffic and 2) Hit the Double-X Boost while in the city. There are a series of boosts that go from left to right then right to left, do it while avoiding traffic and you'll get far ahead. Finally, there are Bomb Karts but no Mushroom Karts. Unfair.

Funky in the Spear is really good here although it's a bit uncontrollable and too slow to accelerate for effective Grand Prix Play. I prefer Daisy in the Mach Bike or Dolphin Dasher. The Staff Ghost is Peach, who has some Association with this track, there being a Giant Picture of her in Downtown and all. She's just a City Nightlife kind of Girl. She does a 02:16.802 in the Standard Kart M and then the Expert goes 02:04.163 in the Mach Bike.

Desert Tracks

History:

There are many tracks in the vast Dry Dry Desert located in the Southeast of the Mushroom Kingdom, often similarly linked but owned by no single individual. Navigating the desert was extremely dangerous before the construction of an intricate railway system by Eduard Simpson in 1894. He named his train the K64 and it still runs to the Desert and Back and remains the major mode of transportation into the wastelands. Since the Mushroom Government eventually regulated the Rail Industry Toad was able to build the Kalimari Desert Track around an early loop by the K64. Over the years, though, it fell into Shy Guy hands as the influence of the K64 waned and the Shy Guys crept through the region. Also located in the Kalimari Desert is the Sunset Wilds, which is another public Track.

As more of the Dry Dry Desert was explored in the early 20th Century the Mushroom People discovered a vast lost civilisation. Naturally they were up for converting most of the beautiful ruins into Race Courses. It's just that popular. While maintaining its holdings in the Kalimari Desert, the Mushroom Government put vast stretches of the Dry Dry Desert up for Auction. Yoshi, using some winnings he had gathered from adventuring with Mario purchased a section of land that would eventually become the course known as Yoshi Desert. He also purchased a wide section around some quicksand that he would eventually give to Birdo as well as the rights for an intricate Temple System that would eventually become the Dry Dry Ruins track.

Deeper in the Desert is a track known as Desert Hills. It was first owned by Yoshi as part of the initial Desert Tracks Deal, but he was forced to sell it to Waluigi, possibly under infelicitous circumstances. As Waluigi was attempting to make it a signature track for the Waluigi Grand Prix, which never got off the ground, he upset the Angry Sun, who drove him out with a bombardment of Fire Snakes. The track fell into the temporary care of ROB before it became inhospitable to all by Dry Bones, who the Angry Sun had no real problem with.

Past the point where the K64 runs the Desert gets even more rugged. Beyond the Layer-Cake lay an enormous Dead Sea between the canyons, where Shy Guy Pirates and Dry Bones duke it out for supremacy. Morton Koopa Jr., being familiar with the desert environs sought to make his own personal track here after he was selected for the 2014 Grand Prix. It's one of the most inhospitable of regions, though, and when other tracks are full of ghosts or outer space, that's saying something.

64:

MK64 was the first to feature a Desert Track, but every game since then has followed suit, except for 7, where this course is merely re-made. The Kalimari Desert came at the end of the Mushroom Cup, a trend that only Double Dash continued. It's clearly based on the American Southwest rather than the Egyptian theme of some of the other tracks. It also doesn't have a whole lot that other Desert Tracks have repeated, although its train is distinctive enough to appear again in Paper Mario. It's pretty simple besides the occasional Train Crossing. Good characters are Toad or Peach, characters who can take advantage of some of the lean straightaways, although good Brakes are also important here.

This course returns in Mario Kart 7 where it leads off the Leaf Cup. MK64 courses lead off three of the four Retro Cups and this one has some significant changes. To utilize new Air Travel possibilities there are a few ramps where Drivers can fly over large sections of the track.  The Ghost here is Shy Guy, providing some kind of Desert Connection, possibly a reference to the Native American Shy Guys from Super Circuit. The Normal uses the Cact-X, Wood Wheels, and Swoop Glider in 02:01.932. The Expert goes 01:48.707 in the Bolt Buggy, Red Monster, and Ghastly Glider. There is no water here to worry about here, so sticking with just fast land Wheels and Gliders is key - something like Gold Wheels on the B Dasher with a Swoop Glider works great.

Super Circuit:

Sunset Wilds from the Lightning Cup is a really interesting track, there hasn't been another like it since. It is the only Mario Kart Track which features a noticeable time change, shifting from Sunset to Night by the third lap. It also features ancillary characters that interact with the Racers - Native American Shy Guys who pounce on a Driver if they disturb their Tee Pee. I guess I would do that too. Perhaps a commentary on the plight of the American Indian? I hope so. There are also inexplicable Dinosaur Tracks throughout the land, possibly leftover from some Giant Beast who once prowled those lands

Super Circuit also featured the first Egyptian Desert Course, and this one would have more influence over Future Desert Tracks than either Kalimari or Sunset Wilds. Yoshi Desert began the Association between Yoshi and Deserts as well as the Egyptian Motif. It also has Piranha Plants that will swallow wayward drivers, seen again in Double Dash's Dry Dry Desert, and a Giant Yoshi Sphinx, seen again in Wii's Dry Dry Ruins. It also has some Oases, later seen in DS' Desert Hills. It's interesting that it took this long for the template to really be set. It's also interesting that none of these tracks have ever been in a Retro Cup. Both these courses are very twisty and dangerous, I'd suggest racing with someone who has some kind of handling. This is the only Desert Track ever to be in the Star Cup.

Double Dash:

Double Dash returned the desert track as the Mushroom Cup Closer and this one is named after the Desert it's located in, Dry Dry Desert. There are plenty of Obelisks and Pokeys for the first time, which would reappear in every other Desert Track to come. There is also a terrible Sand Tornado which whips up Drivers, slowing them down immeasurably. Racers will avoid the Tornado only to find themselves on the edge of the Pit of Carkoon with a hungry Piranha Sarlacc in the middle. There are some very hill sections here on a long straightaway, meaning that if you're Kart isn't bouncing around it's a good time to catch up or get ahead. Try the Pipes or one of the Toad Karts for the best results. Double Dash also had a store of Secret Staff Ghosts. Continuing the Yoshi Association with Desert Tracks, the Ghost here is Birdo driving with Yoshi in tow, in the Turbo Yoshi with a time of 1:50:755.

DS:

The DS Flower Cup opens with Desert Hills, which is the only Desert Track to ever be in the Flower Cup, as well as the first opener that wasn't a Mushroom Track or a Mario Circuit since SMK. It's also more or less a simple loop unlike the twisted Super Circuit renditions. There are some nice wide straightaways as well as some gentle turns that aren't difficult for anyone with decent handling. Since you're looking for Handling and Speed I might bet on Luigi, ROB, Waluigi or Yoshi (most of whom actually have some ties to this track). Use their best rides.

Desert Hills is a strange track by association. Yoshi is busy with Yoshi Falls and without any other really appropriate Driver available the Ghost is ROB in the ROB-LGS with a time of 1:31:262 . This is the only Desert Track to ever get a remake, and the Wii Ghost is Dry Bone. The Normal Staff Ghost goes 02:10.233 in the Standard Bike S and the Expert does a  01:52.686 in the Tiny Titan. The Wii Version is also full of Waluigi Grand Prix signs for some reason as well a really pissed off Sun.

Wii:

By comparison this track seems so innocent leading off the Special Cup for the first time. Instead, this track is secretly insane. Besides the giant statues crumbling around you, there are some thread-the-needle Offroad Shortcuts, some inescapable sand, 90° Temple Turns and plenty of Pokeys and Bats to knock you around or at least ruin that final jump. There are tons of Wii courses whose maps look very friendly, indeed this is a simple loop, but full of so many obstacles as well as altitude changes, wide, slippery sandy track material and danger everywhere that it belongs in the Special Cup. Just think when you finish it gets tougher from there.

The Ghost here is back to Yoshi. The Normal goes a 02:30.949 in his signature Classic Dragster, while the Expert blasts off a 02:14.286 in the Nitrocycle. I had a tough time balancing the need for speed on this course with the obvious handling issues. I've actually had some luck with Daisy in the Dolphin Dasher, that'd be my recommendation.

8:

Bone-Dry Dunes is a callback to more a Kalimari / Sunset Wilds kind of craggy desert rather than the Egyptian-themed ruins that more modern games have featured. It's all shaded in a deep orange ochre with swirling vortexes of sand making tornadoes and rivers that can gobble racers up. There's a bit of a heady Mid-Eastern vibe here, too, possibly reminiscent of Shy Guy Bazaar with its caravans, tents, and craggily structures. It's possible to bypass anti-gravity sections entirely here, which is rare, so that could impact your Wheel selection. There is no water but a short air portion, along with some truly brutal turns towards the end of the track. The bone theme is apparent here, with Dry Bones who won't really upset your Kart but surely slow you down, along with Bone Piranha Plants, will mess you up completely.

The Staff Ghost here is Morton Koopa Jr., who uses the Tri-Speeder, Monster Tires, and Super Glider in 2:13.391. That's actually one of the better combos to handle both Speed and Traction, which is necessary in this awfully sandy course. Morton himself also has one of the higher base speeds. The handling will be completely wretched, though. You can pair the Monster Tires with something like the Standard ATV to maintain traction without losing speed or the Pipe Frame, which will lose a little bit of traction but gain handling without losing speed. Good luck, grasshopper.

Frosty Tracks

History:

Like the Beach Tracks, there is no one owner of the Frosty Tracks, but they all have some similar veins running through them. The Vanilla Lakes are on Property owned by the Toadstool Royal Family far North of the Mushroom Kingdom. There was minimal effort done to adjust them into Racecourses, but they are officially maintained now by Mario but owned by Peach. Frappe Snowland was another course in the North, although not as far as the Arctic areas of Vanilla Lake established by a joint venture between Mario and Yoshi in 1994. Ultimately the two disputed ownership and were forced to put it to bid in 2004 wherein it was purchased by Wario. Sherbet Land (64) was also christened in 1994 by Luigi in an effort to also maintain a racing presence, tho his Brood has maintained ownership.

Snow Land is also maintained by the Royal Family. Finally, Sherbert Land (Double Dash) is a recreational spot for Shy Guys and tho they do not typically field a driver, still hold ownership and profits from Races on their grounds.

Deep in the Cosmic Cove Galaxy Rosalina furbished her first track, naming it Rosalina's Ice World. Tho she is relatively inexperienced in racing or managing tracks, the power and influence of Rosalina far outweight most of the mortal men and women who have pursued such a venture. Rosalina's choice to use the Cosmic Cove Galaxy was one of both safety and on the insistence of her Penguin Allies there.

Super: 

Vanilla Lake 2

Vanilla Lake 1 and 2 are courses that seem the inverse of each other. One races around a giant snowy pile with the occasional cracks in the ice that can be dangerous. The other races around an enormous hole in the ice, which would provide inspiration for many Frosty Tracks to come. The track itself is very slippery and The Small Guys, Koopa and Toad have a tough time with it. Vanilla Lake 1 appears in the Star Cup but Vanilla Lake 2 is the penultimate course in the game. It feature many jagged, dangerous turns as well as some ice blocks, pipes and big patches of slowy snow to drive through. It's an intense experience. These tracks never showed up again, besides in Super Circuit, which recreated SMK verbatim (with the exception of changing the format from 5-Tracks in 4-Cups to 4-Tracks in 5-Cups), but provided a lot of inspiration for those to come in the future.

64: 

Frappe Snowland is a snowy track rather than an icy one. There are a couple jumps so someone who can maintain their speed like Toad is of good use. There are again some wicked turns and power sliding opportunities as well as tons of Bomb-filled Snowmen who are deadly. This is also the only Frosty Track besides Vanilla Lake 2 that is not in the Star Cup, it calls the Flower Cup home. Despite featuring giant Yoshi and Mario statues this track returned for DS with a Wario Staff Ghost for some reason. I guess Wario is a better association with the Frigid Wastes than a cheery Tropical Yoshi, and there's plenty of Mario Circuits to take up the Red Plumber's time. Wario clocks in a 2:08:781 in the Brute.

Sherbet Land is one of only a handful of names that appears in different tracks in different games (the others being Bowser Castle, Mario Circuit, Luigi Circuit and Wario Stadium) and is the only name that reappears without attachment to a Racer. It's the clear successor to Vanilla Lake 2, although there is no snow to drive over, there are some tough turns and a giant icy lake in the middle to drive around. The Penguins here are nasty and navigating the Cave is very difficult. This track returned as a Retro Course in Wii where the Staff Ghost inexplicably is Baby Luigi. He goes a 02:48.651 in the Quacker and the expert is 02:28.356 in the Blue Falcon. I suppose there aren't really any other good Luigi-themed courses so they had to stick him somewhere.

Super Circuit

Super Circuit features Snow Land, a fairly unremarkable course for the Star Cup. It does feature some penguins and Snowmen again who block Drivers but don't explode. There are also some puddles that can trap players but they don't seem like Ice Cracks as this course features a snow raceway. There is also a constant Snowstorm, making it the second Mario Kart Course with a weather pattern, but it's never too much to be distracting. Its basic shape does actually recall Frappe Snowland a little bit but with a few more groovy turns. Anyone with good handling who can stay in the middle of the path is going to do well here, which might be someone heavier who won't slip out uncontrollably.

Double Dash:

The Second Sherbet Land appears in Double Dash, leading off the Star Cup, just as Snow Land did for Super Circuit and DK Pass would do for DS. I did decide that the two other snowy courses, DK Pass and DK Summit were more like other DK Courses than these Frosty Tracks, so head over there to see their info. All the Frosty Tracks are basically flat, with ice water hazards and usually some kind of moving or stationary (and exploding) object. This incarnation of Sherbet Land is no different.

The enormous Skating Shy Guys here are basically a recreation of the Penguins from 64 Sherbet Land. There is also a tunnel, tho it's far less dangerous and some snow to slow Racers down, but it's never exactly on the track they should be racing on. The biggest danger here might be the Freezies, which will temporarily chill a player and can destroy good laps right at the last second.

The Secret Ghost here is Baby Luigi/Baby Mario in the Goo-Goo Buggy at 1:25:904. This was probably the inspiration for giving Baby Luigi the 64 Sherbet Land recreated in Wii, but still...what the hell? There aren't any recreations of this course anywhere, and for sure the 64 Sherbet Land is a bit more iconic. It is surprising that there hasn't been a later incarnation of these tracks, but to be sure Original Tracks in DS and Wii are as a rule much crazier than these guys.

7:

Rosalina's Ice World is fairly different from any other Frosty Track that has come before it. The half-pipe sections echo parts of DK Summit from Wii and there are large stretches of a broken ice lake that has been repeated plenty of times, but it is a generally darker track than some of the others here and has a lot more ice than snow portions. It also has a substantial underwater section, so that should be sure to come into your Kart and Wheel selection, although there is not many spots for Air time.

The Staff Ghost naturally then is Rosalina, who goes a 02:25.784 using the Standard with Sponge Wheels and the Parafoil. Neither Rosalina's Cruiser class nor the Sponge Wheels are very good underwater, so that may be where you can strike. The expert though, uses the Gherkin, Red Monster Wheels and Super Glider in 02:13.091. This combo is pretty awful at everything but Land Speed, so either take advantage of the water again or try to match it with something that loses less, such as the B Dasher and Gold Tires, or even the same combo with a Light or Featherweight.

Beach Tracks

History:

There is no one Beach Owner to all these tracks, but they're all pretty similar. Most of these are owned by the lesser underlings of the Koopa Kingdom. The Koopa Beaches are technically Bowser's property and exist on the fringes of Dark Land, out in the Ocean. They serve as relaxation homes for the Koopa Troop, a spot to get away as well as a small way to boost morale after countless defeats at the hands of the Mario Bros. The Koopas in their lone attempt at seeking some political power in Bowser's Harsh Regime have fully funded the construction of Race Courses out of these Islands, although the track construction is minimal.

Shy Guy Beach exists off the Coast of Yoshi's Island and as such are under a constant barrage from the Pirate Guys seeking to plunder the region's rich natural resources. The course was funded by Yoshi although recently sold to the Koopas, though the Pirate Guys have the same desire for booty. Cheep-Cheep Island also exists in Dinosaur Land, although this was constructed and maintained by the Koopas. Likewise with Cheep Cheep Cape. Peach Beach is on Isle Delfino in the Seas South of the Mushroom Kingdom, transformed into a course by the Princess herself. Cheep Cheep Beach is on the Southern Shores of the Mushroom Kingdom itself, originally on land owned by Peach again but sold to Kong in 2004 after she favoured her Isle Delfino Vacation Home. Kong used the Tropical Region as a hang-out from him and his Brood during their extended stays in the Mushroom Kingdom before eventually crafting a Course out of the grounds.

Super:

The idea for Koopa's Courses being beaches may have come from the Beach Koopa, which was the appearance of any Koopa without a shell. Koopa Beach 1 and 2 feature as early tracks in the Star and Special Cup. This is the latest any Beach Track would get and these are both more difficult in proportion to SMK's other tracks when compared to later Beach Courses. Beach 1 is nothing more than a string of Islands connected by water and a few grassy patches. It's possible to drive over shallow water and that can open up some extensive shortcuts. Koopa himself is really the best option here, although with sliding and hopping some of the bigger Drivers are usable. Koopa Beach 2 is the inverse of 1, instead of a string of islands around a big water interior it's simply one Massive Landmass with an inner full of slowy grass. There are also Cheep-Cheeps that pop up and wreck your Kart.

Both of these tracks reappeared in Super Circuit though it reshuffled the courses. Instead of 4 Cups of 5 Tracks each Super Circuit contained 5 Cups of 4 Tracks each. Koopa Beach 2 also came back in DS as a Retro Track. The Ghost is Yoshi in the Egg 1 at 0:54:847. Yoshi is here because DS didn't have a Koopa, tho it did have Dry Bones (he was associated with Creepy Tracks). Yoshi has always been in Tropical Island games, it's not a stretch to have him here.

64:

64 introduced the idea for the Mushroom Cup to have a Beach Circuit, which was followed all the way to Wii, which has no Beach Track in the vein of any of these (Koopa Cape is the closest, though with the underwater piping and waterfalls is really nothing like any other Course). Koopa Troopa Beach has a very infamous shortcut but is mostly a race around a giant rock, making it more similar to Koopa Beach 2 than later incarnations. It also adds the crabs, the underpass and palm trees that would appear many times later on. The only Koopa reference is the Giant Rocky Outcrop which is distinctive enough. There are tons of ramps on this course for some reason, but it's not really necessary or speedy to go over any of them unless you're taking a shortcut. Someone with lose handling who can handle the wide muddy track for shortcuts would be excellent, possibly Mario or Luigi besides the obvious Peach or Yoshi.

This track returns in Mario Kart 7 although it's almost unrecognizable. The ramps have all shifted and the major shortcut is now dependent on water level for Drivers to hit the ramp. There is heavy use of Air Travel to cover this shortcut and the other ramps, but the biggest change is the use of Sea Travel across previously unnavigable areas. If you have a strong desire to cut corners use someone with great Air and Sea speed such as the Egg 1 with Roller Wheels. The Ghost is Koopa Troopa using the Pipe Frame, Standard Wheels, and Super Glider in 01:54.274, which is a solid combo, but doesn't fully take advantage of water traveling shortcuts. The Expert uses the Soda Jet, Sponge Wheels, and Parafoil in 01:42.909, which hurts its underwater capabilities even more, and would seem a solid air option but the Parafoil kills that. Pick a means of transport and go after it.

Super Circuit:

Shy Guy Beach is a lot like Koopa Beach 1, it's a chain of islands connected by shallow water, which again means that there are plenty of shortcuts if you pick someone with good off-road. It also takes the Koopa Troopa Beach Route by appearing in the Mushroom Cup. The only real danger here are the Crabs again as well as the Pirate Guy Cannonade. It wasn't a stretch to move from Koopas to Shy Guys, the Pirate Guys are equally tropical. This course reappeared in Wii where the Normal Staff Ghost is Koopa in the Cheep Charger at 01:45.568. That's really the perfect merging of Beach tropes - Koopa, Cheep-Cheep and Shy Guy all in one. The expert goes 01:32.867 in the Magikruiser, which with its ridiculous Offroad is one of the best Vehicles to use here. I would pick Toadette, though.

Cheep-Cheep Island is also in Super Circuit, in the Lightning Cup. It's again natural that after the Cheep-Cheeps appeared in tons of these Beach Tracks they would get their own. It's almost the same kind of layout as Shy Guy Beach but the sandy paths are connected by boardwalks instead of shallow water. This makes Offroading less vital. Lots of straightaways with some subtle turns and hazards. Also, Giant Cheep-Cheeps.

Double Dash:

Peach Beach was put in just for the rhyming. It is more like Koopa Troopa Beach with its Big Rocky Arches and shallow pool of water that can become a nifty shortcut if you cut across the sandbar or the low tide. There are tons of Satanic Ducks on this course as well as a weird warp pipe after the start that wastes tons of time but gives you a Double Item.

Actually hitting this thing off the start and getting 8th Place Stars and Mushrooms isn't that bad in Grand Prix. Daisy's Cruiser is visible here as well as another Sunshine Cruiser, both of which are viewable on Yoshi Circuit later on the Star Cup. It's likely that both load somewhere off Delfino and then cruise around the Mushroom Seas. If you time this right and get Mushrooms across the shallow pool the course is basically two straightaways connected by some meandering turns. High Offroad is key, tho if the water is shallow enough the Bigger Karts are actually less affected than some of the smaller guys that just drown. I've done very well here using DK/Bowser/Boo Pipe somehow.

This came back in Wii where the Ghost is Peach who clocks in at 01:34.233 in the Royal Racer. The expert version goes 01:23.140 in the Dolphin Dasher. Isle Delfino? Dolphin Dasher? It's all coming together. This course actually broke some Beach Tradition, there's no Crabs and no Cheep-Cheeps but the Shallow Water and Arches are there.

DS:

The DS Beach Track is Cheep Cheep Beach (again, note the shifting punctuation). This thing has a bit of everything. The Crabs are back along with some big patches of shallow water connecting parts of the track and some tidal shortcuts. There is also the third Beach Arch after Koopa Troopa Beach and Peach Beach as well as a Boardwalk slightly reminiscent of Cheep-Cheep Island. Also for the first time ever there is an actual track that runs through a bit of Jungle during the last quarter. Kong is the Ghost here, in the Standard DK he pulls a 1:43:654. Again, this must just be the Tropical reference and the fact that this game lacks a Koopa and Shy Guy is Download Play Only. Since all the Beach Courses feature some water it's always good to have a light guy who won't sink but depending on the depth of shortcut you may also want a big guy who won't drown. They all also have very ill-defined tracks, which makes the Boardwalks here and on Cheep-Cheep Island stand out. Either way, Offroad is vital for shortcuts here.

7:

Mario Kart 7 adds Cheep Cheep Cape which mostly goes back to basics. It's the third course in the Mushroom Cup, holding an identical position as Koopa Troopa Beach and Cheep Cheep Beach. It's a pretty simple loop although this is mostly because it's the first track to show off the new gameplay in 7, with large underwater elements. There are portions of the track where drivers can go through either the air or sea, meaning that a Kart with decent stats through every medium is necessary. These would include the Cloud 9, Egg 1, Pipe Frame, and Royal Ribbon.

The benefits the Staff Ghost, Peach, perhaps a callback to Peach Beach. She goes a 01:53.758 in the Royal Ribbon with Roller Wheels and the Peach Parasol. The expert keeps the identical accessories but switches to the Tiny Tug in 01:42.011, which is a great combo. Using the Wood Wheels instead may give you a slight advantage on land and the chance to beat her.