Lakitu

History:

Green-Shelled Lakitus had for years served as the Marshals of the Grand Prix. They provide all officiating, including starting races, telling drivers when they're going backwards, and fishing them out of hazards or out-of-bounds areas. The Lakitus, normally enemies of Mario, agreed to be arbitrators in the Grand Prix because of their convenient ability to float and lift things, as well as their non-judgmental and impartial nature.

Tho these Green-Shelled members of the Lakitu Race were normally adversarial and strictly nonpartisan, a Red-Shelled Lakitu took it upon himself to enter into the actual Driving of the 2011 tournament. Such an act was unprecedented in the Lakitu community and he faced many trials and harsh words, as being non-bias observers and aides in the Grand Prix had become something of a staple in Lakitu Society. He faced exile from the Giga Lakitu himself, although his fat corruption by that point had known no bounds. Nevertheless, Lakitu found his way onto the Track, helped construct the Piranha Plant Slide with his allegiance with the Koopas, and even resurrected an ancient version of Rainbow Road using his Lakitu access to the Grand Prix Archives.

7:

Lakitu makes an odd appearance as a Driver in Mario Kart 7. He has a Red Shell to distinguish himself from other Evil Lakitus as well as the impartial Race Judge Lakitus. The Racers in 7 are divided into five weight classes of equal stats. In addition to this, each racer has his or her own signature Kart, though they are free to use any of the sixteen Karts, ten sets of wheels, and seven gliders, which makes a ridiculous number of possible combinations. Here we examine just one of those combinations that works well with Lakitu's class, the Featherweights, and his classic ride, the Cloud 9.

As a Featherweight, his stats are equal to Toad, Koopa, and Shy Guy. He excels at Sea Speed, Acceleration, Handling, Off-Road, Mini-Turbo, and Drift at the expense of Land Speed and Weight. These are a lot of advantages, but may not fit every playing style or course. The Cloud 9 is a good Kart that emphasizes the Featherweights, lacking Land Speed and Weight, but boosting everything else. To this we added the Mushroom Tires. Anything else would make its dismal Top Speed much lower, sacrifice its excellent underwater and aerial Speed, or rob it of some other advantage it needs over Off-Road. Its acceleration and handling stay high while its this stat plummets but doesn't become unbearable. This combo works in tracks with lots of Air and Sea travel, such as Cheep Cheep Lagoon, Koopa Cape, Piranha Plant Slide, Wario's Shipyard, and Koopa Troopa Beach. It can handle its own on land, but ultimately this is an aquatic vehicle now.

Lakitu, like all the other Drivers in 7, has two Staff Ghosts on two Tracks in Time Trials. His first is on Piranha Plant Slide where the Normal Staff Ghosts uses the Standard Kart, Monster Tires, and Super Glider in 02:20.186. The Expert switches to Lakitu's signature Cloud 9, with Sponge Tires, and Paraglider in 02:06.540. Neither takes advantage of the undersea ability of the Cloud 9. His second is on the retro SNES Rainbow Road, which he gets for being kind of an other-worldly, significant entry as a driver, considering the storied history of his species and Mario Kart. He goes 01:34.459 in the Pipe Frame, Slim Wheels, and Super Glider. His Drift, Mini-Turbo, and Handling are going to be excellent, although his speed will heavily decrease. If you can pull off a faster racer while staying on the track you can beat him. The Expert does 01:21.994 using the Cloud 9, Roller Wheels, and Paraglider. The Roller Wheels overemphasize the Cloud 9's strengths, as well as its weaknesses. While it will be a technologically efficient machine, again, its speed will be shot, take it down by not falling off.

Maple Treeway

History:

Deep in the Gold Leaf Galaxy on one of its largest planets lay the Maple Treeway. The Gold Leaf Galaxy exists in a perpetual Autumn and its people live in tree towns in the giant trees. Diddy Kong, having seen this and felt at home decided to convert it into a Racetrack for the 2008 Grand Prix. Using some of the natural Wiggler Holes in creating a twisting complex natural structure, Diddy really outdid himself. Later the native Wigglers overtook the Young Kong and kicked him out of his own course.

Wii:

Maple Treeway is a thoroughly original course and first appears as the third course in the Star Cup in Wii. It starts with some sloping curves of moderate difficulty, then a Barrel Cannon launches the racers to the main tree where the fun starts. The course loops in and around itself in a complex fashion, going out on bare branches and then across the treetop through some Giant Wigglers, who will not cause Vehicles to spin out but will stop them in their tracks. It goes out on to the branches again, through a tunnel and then one of the longest straightaways in the game, tho it's not that straightforward. There is an enormous net that blows in the wind and multiple paths, all of which can be exploited by bouncing and doing tricks all the way to the bottom.

The Staff Ghost is Diddy Kong, who gets the nod from being a monkey, as well as the conspicuous Barrel Cannon the course that makes it similar to a DK Track. The Normal Ghost uses the Classic Dragster in 02:58.633, while the Expert uses the Sneakster in 02:37.812. The extremely high amount of sharp turns and winding paths, along with a deceptive straightaway make a proper choice here difficult. Something like the Shooting Star is good middle ground, as is the Mach Bike, Dolphin Dasher, or Bullet Bike. I take Bikes over Karts here, their smaller profile allows them to weave a little cleaner.

This track returns in Mario Kart 7 as the longest course in the game for some reason. There are some changes like a connected path between branches leading from the Wiggler Top and into the half-pipe, making for a bit of an easier track. The Barrel Cannon is also now an Air Jump, tho you can't steer. This increases danger, as now lightning or putting away your glider will lead to certain doom. The net bridge has also been replaced with an Air Jump, where you can maneuver around. The Staff Ghost is Wiggler, who goes 02:53.560 using the Standard Kart, Wood Tires, and Super Glider. The Wood Tires are a given here, and tho they help with handling, their underwater advantage is not useful. The Expert goes 02:34.877 in the Egg 1, Sponge Tires, and Flower Glider, which means his drifting becomes decent as well as his Air Handling, but nothing else is spectacular. Stick with Wood Tires but grab the B Dasher, Blue Seven, or Zucchini instead.

Wiggler

History:

As part of the natural Fauna of the Mushroom Kingdom, Wigglers for centuries have milled about in the Woods and Mountains, content to mind their own business, eating leaves until one day becoming a pupae and later a Flutter, and then die. They bear no ill will towards intruders to their habitat such as Mario, but do not wish to be disturbed by anyone, and if mad will turn bright red and attack. Some have been known to grow to enormous sizes and are really big obstacles everywhere.

One Wiggler in particular assembled enough electrical impulses to make a coherent thought and joined the Grand Prix in 2011. It even successfully managed two courses, one in its Mountain Home of Rock Rock, the other in its natural forest home of Maple Treeway. It continues to race with the bare minimum of communication skills, baffling drivers and spectators alike.

7:

All of the unlockable characters in Mario Kart 7 are fairly bizarre, but the inclusion of Wiggler the Caterpillar takes the cake. He's set at the Cruiser weight class, which ties his base stats with Donkey Kong and Rosalina. Yep. Donkey Kong, Wiggler, and Rosalina. You can't get a more random weight class for the sub-heavyweights.

In 7, each class has its own base stats. To this we have assigned a Kart to each racer as best we could. Each Kart modifies stats, as does each set of Wheels and each Glider. There is therefore an incredible amount of combinations, 5600 in all. We'll present one of those combos with our Dear Wiggler in the Bolt Buggy today:

We've put emphasis on three strengths at the complete expense of everything else - Land Speed, Weight, and Off-Road. Even its stability is shot. This combo has a very direct set of uses - going fast, knocking everyone else around, and plowing through any kind of obstacle while avoiding Sea and Air Travel at all costs. Its Mini-Turbo and Air-Handling actually end up decent, but this is a Bulldozer-kind of combination. It would excel on courses like Wuhu Loop, Rock Rock Mountain, Luigi's Mansion, and DK Pass.

There are two Wiggler Staff Ghosts in this game, as there is for every character. He first shows up on Rock Rock Mountain where he does a 02:35.105 using the Standard with Red Monster Wheels and the Super Glider. It's probably an homage to the Wiggler under the mountain in Tiny-Huge Island from Super Mario 64. It's a tough match but other Karts like the B Dasher, Koopa Clown, or even our own Bolt Buggy with Slick Wheels can beat its speed. The expert isn't all that better, but he goes a 02:19.149 using the same combination but with the Flower Glider, which increases his air handling, tho it's less necessary here unless you're after coins. Stick with a Glider that doesn't slow down that big jump and you'll be fine.

The other Ghost is on the Retro Maple Treeway, which makes a lot of sense, considering that there was and still is a pair of Gigantor Wigglers on the course. Somehow this is the longest course in the game, and the Normal Ghost goes 02:53.560 using the Standard Kart, Wood Tires, and Super Glider. The Wood Tires seem all too natural, but they offer no great speed advantage here, although the handling is helfpul. The Expert goes 02:34.877 in the Egg 1, Sponge Tires, and Flower Glider, which means his drifting becomes decent as well as his Air Handling, but nothing else is spectacular. Maple Treeway will fall through a combination of Speed, Acceleration, and Handling, slapping the Wood Tires on the B Dasher or Growlster may prove successful.

Pipe Tracks

History:

After gaining credibility with their Beach Tracks the Koopa Troop set out to carve one of the most ambitious tracks in Mario Kart History out of their cliffside isles. Announcing that they have truly arrived on the Racing Scene, Koopa Cape uses all of their resources, from jumps to pipes and perilous cliffs.

The Piranha Plant Slide was crafted by Lakitu using much of the Koopa Pipe Technology as well as a partnership with Petey Piranha who had been attempting to become King of All Piranha Plants. Both of these Pipe Tracks were able to bring a fresh spin and new eyes to a Grand Prix that had become tired and predictable by the time of their construction.

Wii:

Koopa Cape is the second course in the Star Cup and it's an incredible track. It clearly has origins with something like Koopa Troopa Beach from 64, but much more. It has a little bit of everything. Alongside a gorgeous water vista there are cliffs, forests, rivers, pipes, sheer drops, twists, straightaways and off-road to be had. It's therefore compatible with many kinds of playing styles. There are many jumps, boosts, and half-pipes although generally unless you're desperate for an Item they take longer to get through. Its many different yet linked kinds of terrain makes it one of the most diverse and unique tracks of any Mario Kart game.

More importantly is the subtle multiple pathways to be taken. The river is substantially faster than dry land and it should be taken whenever possible. There are some good Off-Road cut-throughs to be had around the first riverbend if you have a Mushroom or Star. After the waterfall drops you in the pipe over the starting line the most dangerous hazard is the electrical bolts that are tough to avoid and can really ruin your day. Staying on the water to get a boost whenever possible is vital and the turn is also fairly ridiculous. Someone with handy drifting skills and good acceleration out of those turns like Dry Bones or Waluigi would do well here.

The Ghost though, is Koopa Troopa. He goes 03:03.022 using the Cheep Charger, which does have good drift and the Expert uses the Bubble Bike in 02:41.370. It's one of the longest courses in the game, third only to Bowser's Castle and Rainbow Road among Original Tracks and the N64 Bowser's Castle is the only track longer than any of those.

The Course comes back in Mario Kart 7, where there are a few change that significantly affect gameplay, most notably that the long Pipe Section is now completely underwater, necessitating a craft that can sustain a good aquatic speed. The electrical bolts are replaced with Cheep Cheeps, which is somewhat easier to deal with. Tho shorter than Wii, it is again very long, second in the game only to Maple Treeway, which wasn't shortened as much in comparison to its original. The Ghost is again Koopa in 02:49.046 using the Standard, Monster Tires, and Super Glider, which should really suffer underwater. The Expert uses the Cact-X, Standard Tires, and Flower Glider in 02:28.585, which has no real advantages but has moderate submarine capabilities.

7:

Although the locales of these two tracks are very different, they share enough similar game play to group them together here. The Piranha Plant Slide is also in the Star Cup, this time as its first track. It also features long rivers to drive down and significant underwater travel. It's interesting that it's almost as if the Off-Road portions here are the normal driving surfaces that slow racers down.

The big obstacle here are the handful of Giant Piranha Plants that attack nearby racers. Avoid them and stick on the running water. The course is generally flat with some deviations and its core layout isn't nearly as complex as Koopa Cape. Still, there is river travel, land travel, underwater travel, a brief but perilous air travel where making a wrong move around the waterfalls or getting hit by an item can mean doom, as well as a fairly straightforward patch near the end that has some classic Off-Road rough.The turns are sharp here, but the course is wide enough that anyone with plenty of speed and poor handling can deal with it.

The Ghost here is Lakitu for some reason. As it's a course primarily associated with Mario Enemies but not really the dark and evil kind associated with Bowser, it makes sense for an enemy to call this home, and with Koopa and Wiggler attached to more obvious tracks, Lakitu ends up here. The Normal Staff Ghosts uses the Standard Kart, Monster Tires, and Super Glider, actually exactly the same as Koopa did on Koopa Cape, in 02:20.186. The Expert switches to Lakitu's signature Cloud 9, with Sponge Tires, and Paraglider in 02:06.540. While the Cloud 9 is a good Sea Kart, the Sponge Tires negates its usefulness. Either the Wood or Roller Tires are a better choice. With the actual need for Aerial Navigation around the water spouts, the Flower Glider or Peach Parasol may actually be a good choice as well.