Toadette

History:

Toadette is a ruthless provocateur who has slutted her way to the top of the Mushroom Kingdom through undeniable ambition and cunning political and personal tactics. She is very young but knew all the right people to sleep with to become a powerful influence on the rule of the Royal Family - namely, Toad. As a child she was a compulsive Musician and Softball Player. She practiced constantly, unhappy with being anything but the very best. She soon turned her whirling dynamo of motivation to the realm of politics and found it dominated by ineffective men like Toad and awkward rulers who had come into Power far before she was ready like Peach, who had no idea how to run a Kingdom. Toadette first flirted with Toad while he was seeking asylum in Yoshi's Island after a recent blunder that let Bowser enter the Kingdom and kidnap the Princess once again. Toad fell in love instantly and invited Toadette back to the castle to be his bride. She refused the wedding but accepted the Castle invite, and has been a Puppet Master ever since. Her guile and wits are matched only by her ability to sleep with anyone who she can't convince to change policy with her serpentine words. Through a systematic process of blackmail and deception she has managed to become more powerful in the Kingdom than Toad himself, whose own impotence politically and sexually has now long hindered his ability for real confidence of any kind.

Double Dash:

Toad is a very sweet girl in Double Dash, which is actually her first appearance ever. She partners with Toad automatically and was clearly shoe-horned into the game because no other Lightweight really meshed with the Mushroom Head. She's really identical to Toad in every way, Double Dash put more emphasis on Kart Selection than Drivers, who only determined the Weight Class of Karts available and Special Items. Each Character though, does have his or her own Signature Kart. Toadette, very creatively, drives the Toadette Kart.

The Toadette Kart is actually very similar to the Toad Kart, with some slight differences. Its real specialty is Acceleration, it reaches its Top Speed faster than any other Vehicle in the game, although the Toad Kart is only 4th. Despite this its speed is very slow, 55 mph, although it retains a good amount of Offroad Speed, one of the highest in the game. It's also the second-lightest in the game, so you've got to count on that Acceleration to get away fast. It handles very similar to the Toad Kart, it's not very bouncy and it loses an average amount of speed on its turns. In general it's pretty good but really with a low speed like that it's only good for Grand Prix, and with a weight like that it's going to get its ass kicked there.

Toadette shares the same Special Item as Toad, the Golden Mushroom, which gives you an infinite amount of Mushroom Boosts for a limited time. This seems awesome but really it can do more harm than good. It will only show up if you're near the back of the crowd, and if you get it on a course with plenty of turns or dangerous edges, it's basically useless as it makes the Kart nearly uncontrollable. On the simpler courses with lots of Offroad and no edges though, it can be handy...except for the fact that you shouldn't be in Last Place on these courses. She's really a better Character for beginners...except that she's a Secret Unlockable Character. Basically Toadette has no purpose in this game. Being a Secret Character she also appears as a Secret Staff Ghost on no tracks.

Wii:

Now here is where Toadette starts to really shine. Wii didn't base its stats on Individuals or on Karts. Instead all Eight Racers in each of the Three Size Classes has access to Six Bikes and Six Karts, all with varying stats. In addition each Racer adds certain Bonuses to each Stat, making for a dizzying number of possible combinations. Of course if you're Toadette, you're choosing the Magikruiser. Toadette gets a +6 Offroad Bonus, tied only with Dry Bowser as the best in the game, as well as a smaller Speed Bonus. When this combines with the Magikruiser, which already has the best Offroad of any Vehicle, you've got an unbeatable combination for taking the path less traveled. Take a look:

Power-hungry whore...

It's the only glaringly obvious choice in the game, so you had better go with it. She can make Moo Moo Meadows, Shy Guy Beach or Dry Dry Ruins the easiest courses you'll encounter. She only has one Staff Ghost though, and it's Mushroom Gorge, obviously a reference to her head. The Normal uses the Quacker in 02:16.110 and the Expert uses the Mini Beast in 02:01.011. Since she doesn't really have stats that support either of these Vehicles that well, it shouldn't be too difficult to beat either of these.